Parent and Staff Issue, HELP, IDEAS

[spedmommy4]

they didn't really get in to detail, but that is a great thing you brought up and I should probably tell them that if they see it, next time they should report it to me right away and I will take care of it, that way they are not going to make anyone mad, me or the parent.

again great point bringing that up.

I could totally see them not wanting to for that reason.

Me on the other hand, if I make you mad because I have to parent your child, you nest be happy that is all I had to do.

I think it would be helpful to get to the root of the issue. Are your employees concerned that you'll be upset if they upset a parent? If so, some reassurance may help

Or do they need training on how to handle tough conversations with parents? It is uncomfortable to be in those situations but I would tell all of them that, in this field, they are going to have to get used to uncomfortable conversations and situations with parents. It's better to learn in a small setting, where you have an experienced mentor to help.

[Meeko]

Your employees may be picking up the vibe from the parents that they are regarded as "just the help" and therefore it is harder for them to enforce rules than it is for you. Parents may see YOU as an accepted authority figure...but not your employees. Too many parents have the "my kid/my rules (ie:no rules) attitude and are not open to other people disciplining their child.

Also, if you decide to hold these events on Saturdays...how do your employees feel about that? Was having to work on a Saturday discussed when they were hired?

[kathiemarie]

Is there any thing you were doing that you could delegate to your employees? Things that didn't evolve watching kids? That way you are the person watching the kids, talking to the parents etc. and your employees are in the back ground doing everything else.

[daycare]

Your employees may be picking up the vibe from the parents that they are regarded as "just the help" and therefore it is harder for them to enforce rules than it is for you. Parents may see YOU as an accepted authority figure...but not your employees. Too many parents have the "my kid/my rules (ie:no rules) attitude and are not open to other people disciplining their child.

Also, if you decide to hold these events on Saturdays...how do your employees feel about that? Was having to work on a Saturday discussed when they were hired?

yes they were told that they would need to work possible weekend events and clean up crew at least 5-7 times a year.

[daycare]

Is there any thing you were doing that you could delegate to your employees? Things that didn't evolve watching kids? That way you are the person watching the kids, talking to the parents etc. and your employees are in the back ground doing everything else.

they did all have designated jobs, but there was 23 kids in attendance for this party at the park. No way could i watch all of those kids on my own.

What was happening was that the kids that had parents with them kept taking off to the park to play while I had the rest of the group. Then when the parent was bringing them back to the group because we were doig an activity, the kid would kick dirt or push other kids and etc. Because i was helping other kids, I didn't see it. Also, ALL OF MY PARENTS KNOW THEY BEST MAKE THEIR CHILD BEHAVE. Guess that all went out the window, even with me there.

I did think about this a lot yesterday and my employees normally don't have communication with the parents much. I am the one who normally talks with the parents, so I can see where they may have felt out of line to say something.

it is sad to me that the parents let their children behave like this. Now that I know, I am going to be proactive and tell the parents right now before the next event that if their child's behavior is not acceptable and they do not require their child to behave that they will be sent home for the day and that the parents will not be allowed to attend any further functions with their child. If they leave over it, well then so be it.

I would rather loose a family for not following the rules than an employee for trying to enforce them.

I love my staff, I love my parents and kids, but I am not going to allow my parents to do this anymore and my staff shouldn't be put in this awkward position.

[MarinaVanessa]

Maybe next time you have an even like this you alert the parents that if they choose to attend then they have to stay with the group. If the behavior issue starts with the parents taking the children to play at another area and then the child having trouble transitioning back into the group appropriately then maybe you don't give the parents that option. Make it clear that the parents and all children attending the event must stay together in the same area with the activities that you provide, if they walk away from the group with their child (other than to use the restroom) then they have left the event and there is no "re-admittance".

Also because you are just one person and can't possibly see everything at once maybe you have have a code phrase or word that the staff could use to let you know that there is an issue that they need help with and need you to take care of. For example, a child with a parent present starts to misbehave during a craft activity and starts taking other kids materials and the parent doesn't do anything. The staff member can call for you "Ms. Daycare! Can you help me please!" and when you hear that specific phrase wording that specific way then you come by and the staff member can identify what the problem with a simple "Little Stevie here is having a hard time keeping his hands on his own materials. Can you help him please?" and then at that point you can take over and talk to the parent to remind the parent to help their child follow rules and appropriate behavior.

I like the idea of letting parents know that if their child misbehaves and they don't step in to handle it that they will be asked to remove their child (leave).

And I definitely think a general notice to all of your clients should be sent out discussing the issues that your staff brought up. You could maybe put in the notice that if this continues then parents may no longer be invited to the events and only the children that regularly attend on the day that the event is planned will be allowed to attend. I think everyone should get the letter because the parents that attended the event this time may not be the same parents that attend the next one, this way all parents are aware.

[MarinaVanessa]

Is there any thing you were doing that you could delegate to your employees? Things that didn't evolve watching kids? That way you are the person watching the kids, talking to the parents etc. and your employees are in the back ground doing everything else.

I was thinking about this and maybe a similar solution but more practical one would be for you to be the only one that didn't have a specific job to do on days of events KWIM? As in you plan the event and delegate tasks to the staff but don't give yourself any responsibilities on these days.

You would be the "floater". Have the staff oversee the activities and maybe even designate particular kids to each staff member. Your responsibility would be to walk around and check on everyone, answer questions, assist a little bit while you are at an activity, talk and joke with the kids etc ... and most importantly handle situations with children not behaving and parents lack of involvement.

[daycare]

sorry, I was running the show and my staff was given certain tasks to complete.

We had a face painting table and tattoo parlor that my staff ran
we had a photo booth that my staff ran
and so on

I was in charge of all of the kids and what events they were at so that we could break down into small groups.

When we had large group activities I was in charge.

I do like the idea that we need to come up with a plan of action for me to correct behavior and send home when and if needed.

If any of you have ran big events (this is actually smaller than I am used to) you know how crazy it can get. Lots going on and some time fires to put out.

thanks ladies for all of your feed back.

[Thriftylady]

I have not ran big events, but hope to one day. For several years, I have dreamed of running a "day camp" of sorts at our local park. This makes me scared to though.

[Josiegirl]

Definitely send a letter home, with written expectations, maybe even have them sign it and return to make sure they understand. And if they do not keep better watch of their own children then they're sent home and not allowed to attend the next function. This whole situation needs better communication between everyone. And parents need to be, not just there, but There and Actively supervising their own child.
Bless your heart for going above and beyond, yikes. I could NOT do that.