Advice on Pacifier

[Meeko]

As a parent I would rather my child have a pacifier then take up a thumb ****ing habit which is much harder to break when the child is a toddler.

While thumb ****ing CAN become a later problem, not always. A baby ****s their thumb because they really WANT to. They start it on their own, and the majority stop it on their own when the ****ing need diminishes.

Babies become addicted to a pacifier through parent training, not choice. The parent or provider stuffs it in at the first peep from the child. The child learns that it "can't live without it". Then the quitting doesn't start until the PARENT wants it to. Most confusing to a child to be trained they "must" have this thing in their mouth from birth and then all of sudden, it's a no-no!

Pacifiers make a child's jaw thrust out more than a thumb does and can cause more damage. My mother did so many surgeries on children's jaws and yet the parents claimed they didn't know why it happened because they used an "orthodontic" labelled pacifier. They would act surprised when Mom told them there is no such thing on the planet.

Sorry if I offend anyone. This is something I am passionate about because my mother educated me on how heinous pacifiers can be. I actually like the name for them in the UK......a pacifier is called a dummy.

[Blackcat31]

As a parent I would rather my child have a pacifier then take up a thumb ****ing habit which is much harder to break when the child is a toddler.

My experience has been the exact opposite.

I've had several thumb ****ers and they have all self-weaned during toddlerhood because most activities require two hands.

The multiple kids I've had with paci's usually have a much harder time being weaned and RARELY do it on their own and usually have them well beyond age 2.

[mamamanda]

I don't use them for my own children & I had one lo use one earlier tho year & I absolutely hated it. One more thing for me to keep track of. So, I typically only allow it during nap time & I won't replace it even then.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

My experience has been the exact opposite.

I've had several thumb ****ers and they have all self-weaned during toddlerhood because most activities require two hands.

The multiple kids I've had with paci's usually have a much harder time being weaned and RARELY do it on their own and usually have them well beyond age 2.

This is why I asked the question on them. I currently have an almost two year old and it is TOUGH! She wants it all the time and if I give it to her, she ****s on it and then drops it and loses it. Then 15 minutes later, she remembers she wants it and literally cries and whines and follows me around. It is getting old, but I know they use it all the time, so I am not sure if taking it away here will be all that helpful, or if she (and I) will just be miserable all day.

[Blackcat31]

This is why I asked the question on them. I currently have an almost two year old and it is TOUGH! She wants it all the time and if I give it to her, she ****s on it and then drops it and loses it. Then 15 minutes later, she remembers she wants it and literally cries and whines and follows me around. It is getting old, but I know they use it all the time, so I am not sure if taking it away here will be all that helpful, or if she (and I) will just be miserable all day.

In that case, I would give her a specific spot that she can have the paci in.

If she gets up or leaves the spot, the paci stays behind. (if she tries to get up and follow you, take the paci and toss it back to the spot and tell her "You can get up but not with paci". Shorten the message until you are down to two words "No paci".....)

Rinse and repeat until she understands that she can leave the spot but paci cant.

Usually the choice to have fun will eventually outweigh the need for the paci...if not, she will find a way to be content sitting in the spot with her paci.

That's how I've handled them in the past and so far it's the ONLY resolution I have found that works and is as little work for me as possible.

I don't want to be the one to wean when I know parents rarely take the initiative to do it so unless they do it first and I can "see" that the child is no longer attached, that is how it is at my house.

You CAN have a paci but you can ONLY have it here. Period.

HTH

[Thriftylady]

Neither of my own kids wanted anything to do with them, they wanted the bottle . Daycare kiddos I allow them if they come with them. I have a 14 month old DCG right now who "has to have it to sleep" funny thing is I can put her down for a nap without it. I also have her quiet in the PNP in about 2 minutes after laying her down (took a long 3 weeks of gradually coming down from two hours), but mom "can't get her to go to bed without screaming".

I think perhaps some children may have some need for them. But at some point, I think they matter more to the parents then the little ones.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

In that case, I would give her a specific spot that she can have the paci in.

If she gets up or leaves the spot, the paci stays behind. (if she tries to get up and follow you, take the paci and toss it back to the spot and tell her "You can get up but not with paci". Shorten the message until you are down to two words "No paci".....)

Rinse and repeat until she understands that she can leave the spot but paci cant.

Usually the choice to have fun will eventually outweigh the need for the paci...if not, she will find a way to be content sitting in the spot with her paci.

That's how I've handled them in the past and so far it's the ONLY resolution I have found that works and is as little work for me as possible.

I don't want to be the one to wean when I know parents rarely take the initiative to do it so unless they do it first and I can "see" that the child is no longer attached, that is how it is at my house.

You CAN have a paci but you can ONLY have it here. Period.

HTH

What space would be appropriate? I have a little kid chair that I could use or a play yard (large pack in play type thing), and also a high chair, but I don't know if that would be considered restraining her? I will definitely try making it so she can have it, but in one spot only, but she is soooo dramatic that I feel like she will just sit and cry, with paci, because she can't roam freely. Thanks for our advice...I need it! I am losing my sanity!

[Blackcat31]

What space would be appropriate? I have a little kid chair that I could use or a play yard (large pack in play type thing), and also a high chair, but I don't know if that would be considered restraining her? I will definitely try making it so she can have it, but in one spot only, but she is soooo dramatic that I feel like she will just sit and cry, with paci, because she can't roam freely. Thanks for our advice...I need it! I am losing my sanity!

I give them a little pillow/cushion to sit on in the corner of the play room. She can watch and observe the others but she can't participate unless she leave the paci.

Its not restraining her because she HAS a choice to leave the spot or stay.

Free will

[Meeko]

What space would be appropriate? I have a little kid chair that I could use or a play yard (large pack in play type thing), and also a high chair, but I don't know if that would be considered restraining her? I will definitely try making it so she can have it, but in one spot only, but she is soooo dramatic that I feel like she will just sit and cry, with paci, because she can't roam freely. Thanks for our advice...I need it! I am losing my sanity!

If you use a chair, it's not restraining the child. She can get up and move whenever she wants. Just not with the plug.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

It is working! I have a love seat and told her she can have the paci while she sits there, but has to leave it when she gets down to play. She sat for about 15 minutes or so and I was starting to worry she may sit there all day, but then she said "I done" and left paci on the couch to go play! Thank you so much for the advice!

[Blackcat31]

It is working! I have a love seat and told her she can have the paci while she sits there, but has to leave it when she gets down to play. She sat for about 15 minutes or so and I was starting to worry she may sit there all day, but then she said "I done" and left paci on the couch to go play! Thank you so much for the advice!

Awesome to hear!! Sometimes it's the simplest solutions....

I think we tend to over think things too... I've learned to stop and take a minute and try my best to think like a toddler.