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I am at a total loss. My new DCB is a great kid. He is 8, a little noisy but hey he's a kid. The issue is that he needs my attention every minute. For instance in the play kitchen is a play phone. Every day he brings the phone to me again and again wanting me to talk to someone for him. Today after a few times of it I told him no, he needed to play by himself for a little while. He begged and pleaded for at least five minutes. Obviously I just can't cater to him every minute of every day, even though I only have one other little one, I just can't. He is an only child of a single mother and is spending the summer here with his grandparents. During the school year he is in a before and after school program. Any advice for ways to get him to play independently? He will some with play doh, but wants me to come see every creation. Like I said, he is a pretty great kiddo otherwise.
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Just dealt with this with a newbie (age 4 today).
I tried the gentle approach.
I tried the "I'm busy, in a minute" approach
I tried redirecting, ignoring and paying attention with one eye/ear....
Finally I realized my mistake. It's a kid.
"Suzie, here's the deal....I am not your playmate. I am not here to entertain you. I am here to make sure you play safely and nicely either alone or with whatever other daycare kid is here. YOU need to go play and not involve me in everything you do. I will play with you sometimes but ONLY when I say it's time."
I was hesitant at first but honestly, if you want/need them to know something...don't mince words and just say it.
A majority of kids don't know how to play but they WILL (and do) figure it out. Mine did.....and plays nicely now without me having to remind or redirect.
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I finally did tell him that today. Like I said, the whining started for a bit. I guess part of the reason it irritated me so bad today is because I spent all day with them. He came in at 8:30 and we started making bread. At 10:15 we left to walk to the library for the ventriloquist. At noon we were home and put the bread in the oven and had lunch. After that I was ready for him to do something on his own. He left at 1:30, and the time between lunch and him leaving, was constant "look at this", "talk to my boss on the phone" blah blah. This was his third day, and I have to do something. I do tons with the kids, enjoy doing things with them but just can't do this! My 14 month old plays so well on her own!Comment
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Having a program full of these not-so-little little joys, maybe I can help.
I will say ALL of my 7-8yr olds are exactly like this. Even my daughter. They are not that independent unless it's something electronic (i.e computer, wii, DS). They seek & need friendships. They want to tell you EVERYTHING they think. They are more inclined to do things when others do them too (although then starts their competitive nature). Every time I would put out a craft it would take at least 2 kids doing it before others joined. Same with games and even sports. They want one on one with me constantly. There are some that even literally hang on me the moment I stand in place. They are needy creatures. Sometimes you just gotta tell them "yo, I need to do this...go play!" just like blackcat said. He has no "playmates" so you are as good as he's going to get. Has nothing to do with only child or parent status. It's all 7-8yr olds.Comment
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