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How Would You Handle This Kid?
I have a 4 yo dcb that has been exposed to a lot. He is obsessed with zombies, guns and voilence. His parents have zombie apocalypse stickers on their car and let him watch Walking Dead and rated R movies all the time. He tells me about playing call of duty when we have one on one time in the morning. When we do free play he immediately makes a gun out legos or whatever building puzzles we have. He then acts like a snipper and shoots everyone in the room including me. Here are some of the things he says "I'm going to stab you in the neck and blood is going to pour out" and then he acts it out "If I shoot you in the head your brain will blow out like this" "zombies are going to eat me and kill me". He talks like that all day even after I redirect him or tell him we don't make guns and shoot our friends or talk like that. He makes me uncomfortable some times but he is not aggressive or violent with the other kids. My 4 yo son does not know what a zombie is and has not been exposed to most of the stuff he talks about and the other kids aren't either but they are kids and have started to pick up on the stuff he says and does. I have brought it to his parents attention but the day after they took him to see Mad Max the movie so his actions continue. I am concerned the kids are leaving my Christian daycare home to show their parents how they make guns, act like a zombie and shoot and kill each other. I have all boys so I expect some of this activity but some of it is a little much and I don't want other parents to think I am exposing them to inappropriate things. suggestions on how to handle this child or his parents? Or am I looking into this too much?
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Oh my
And you have a Christian Daycare? I think if I were in your position, I'd give the parents a probation time, 2 weeks and if his improvement doesn't improve, he'd be out. Just the influence he has on all the others would be the reason for me. Once kids pick up on stuff like that, it's extremely hard to stop it.
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I would be very firm and consistent with the reminders/consequences of acting/talking/behaving like that at your house.Oh my And you have a Christian Daycare? I think if I were in your position, I'd give the parents a probation time, 2 weeks and if his improvement doesn't improve, he'd be out. Just the influence he has on all the others would be the reason for me. Once kids pick up on stuff like that, it's extremely hard to stop it.
I had a 3yo dcb who was similar (although his was directly related to what he was exposed to at his prior babysitter's) and I stayed right on top of him for 2 weeks. By the third week it had stopped.
If the parents are encouraging it, I wouldn't expect much (if any) change.
If you think that families are going to pull over it, I would do as above suggested. Talk with parents, probation and then term if no improvement.Comment
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it only takes one to ruin it for everyone else. Honestly, this child does not seem like a good fit for your program. If the parents are not on the same page as you, then there is no way you will ever resolve this. I would let him go.
it's like saying you have a no spitting policy and billy spit on joey. When billyh parents come to pick up you tell them and they laugh and say oh yeah he does that all the time. NO WAY.... those are not parents i would do business with. Either you back me up on my rules or you find another childcare.
It is so sad that the child is exposed to so much at such a young age, but it sounds like you will be rolling a rock up a hill with the parents not on your page....Comment
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Why on earth did they enroll their child in a Christian daycare if they are all about zombies , killing etc ?Comment
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I have to agree with not a good fit. I would give them the probation period and let them know they have to teach him this is not okay at daycare. This is a Christian home, not so much with daycare (depends if the parents sign off), but I wouldn't allow it.Comment
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I think a probation period is a good idea BUT during that time I would absolutely allow none of it. One 4 year old girl I had here did 'dirty dancing'. Yes, I'm serious. I told her that little girls don't dance like that and never, ever do it in my house again. Understand? I was very firm and she didn't do it again.
I would tell him that he will never play zombies and there will be no killing or shooting games of any kind. I doubt, at four, he will argue but if he says he can play that at home tell him that at home his parents make the rules and at your house you make the rules and he WILL follow them.
As you can see, I have no patience with parents who let their children engage in this nonsense. I think a probation period will be a wake up call for the parents and if it isn't then goodbye. Besides, why lose other parents for this one child?
LaurelComment
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I have the same 4yo, he watches all of that and more. His favorite thing in the world is Nazi Zombies. I spoke to the parents in a non confrontational way about my expectations, and that they needed to back me in not having that behavior HERE. It took 2-3 weeks of CONSTANT vigilance and redirection. I also got him very interested in a normal kid thing- Daniel Tiger (and he loves it).
I think his constant play and talk about it shows how he is trying to make sense of it, play through and process what he has seen, and NOT that he is 'into' it as his parents feel. My dcb is almost 5 now and he tells his father he doesn't want to watch/play those things because it scares him. He had night terrors for quite a while, that sort of thing.Comment
I try very hard to find clients who parent the way that I do. It makes my job so much less stressful (we have enough stress as it is!).,
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