Tweet
Hi! I'm an experienced daycare provider and love what I do everyday, but I'm at a loss of what to do. A DCM just casually informed me her daughter who I have been caring for over the last 2 years has learning problem. She will be properly test by the end of the month. The parents became aware the child had a part of her brain not develop completely at 3 months of age. When I asked about the test results they lied to me and told me she was fine. I was glad to hear the good news and proceeded to care for the baby as best as I could. But it's been a very strange and difficult road over the last 2 years. I have been so worried about this baby girl you have no idea. I have talked and shared my concerns but the parents have done nothing. So... You can imagine I Was so upset when I was told the truth by the mom I couldn't even respond. I just listened. After thinking it over this last week I can't imagine why they would do that to their daughter. Any advice? I plan on letting them go after we find out what the child will need as a special needs toddler. My heart breaks for her!!
-
-
Unfortunately there isn't much you can do except what you have already done. You brought it up to their attention and at that point it's up to them to decide what do do or not to do.
They aren't required to notify us of any medical conditions even though it certainly would make our lives easier to know when children have developmental or learning disabilities. Most parents are scared that their child will be treated differently or discriminated against, some are in denial and some are just private.
Sounds like you've been wonderful and like she's in good hands. Hopefully now she can get popper testing and assessments and some therapy. -
They might have really liked the care you provided and were afraid you would term here which from your post sounds like what you plan on doing. It sounds like she's only a little over 2 so it's quite possible they held out hope that it would correct itself and that she wouldn't be too far behind her peers. Only you know what you can handle but please don't term unless you feel like you can't meet her needs anymore.Comment
-
Thanks for sharing I appreciate your response. I have been struggling to give her what I believe she may need for awhile. Afraid to give up hope as well I have kept her on board. I have 5 toddlers and she is falling more and more behind each week. I have become frustrated which is never a good thing when caring for little ones. Thanks!!Comment
-
I hope so too!! Thanks for the response!Comment
-
Honestly I would term NOW for withholding info. If you wait, it could be considered discrimination.Comment
-
But parents aren't required to disclose special needs or disabilities, so the parents are already somewhat protected. The only thing OP can do is not provide accommodations for anything special the child needs because they didn't disclose it. Since the parents have now just disclosed that the child is getting assessments and testing then that may be reason enough to be considered already protected.
OP's best bet now is to discuss the issue with the parents and talk about how she could have been better prepared had they notified her of POSSIBLE concerns and special needs and how she's disappointed that they chose not to. She should explain that they should be honest and open with her so that she can provide adequate care. I would also take the time to discuss that the child takes a lot of the OP's time and recommend that the parents ask about therapy so that behavior at daycare doesn't worsen. I would also take this time now to warn that if the child should show violent behavior like hitting etc. that the child may need to be let go, not because she has a special need but because OP needs to keep the other children safe.
Once she gets the testing done for the child and she finds out what exactly, if anything, the OP needs to modify in her daycare then she can determine whether the cost and effort of these accommodations are unrealistic and are burdensome. Most likely with therapy the child will improve.
I'd check with your states licensing regulations. I'm in CA and here we're lucky that we are required to give forms to parents that ask about medical conditions. This is true for family child care providers not just centers and schools. Some states are more relaxed though so make sure to ask about yours.Comment
-
I don't know. It is in my handbook (bound by my contract) that if you know something like this and don't tell me, I can term. And I would, because I don't want to work with people who are not honest with me when it comes to the best interest of their children. I just had a phone interview and told the lady to call me back to set up an in person interview in a few days, she told me "I don't trust anyone with her". I told her I wouldn't set up an in person interview until she thought she could. If you can't trust me, it isn't in the best interest of your child for you to sign my contract.Comment
-
In my situation parents are required to disclose. So this would be a two-week termination and possibly an immediate termination.
I also discuss this with parents at the interview. So they know if it comes out later that they’ve kept a condition from me, I will term. Not based off of a condition but on dishonesty. I give the parents an option to answer with, “We’d rather not discuss or it’s a private matter.” However, lying doesn’t work for me.Comment
-
I agree with terminating because of the parent lying.
IIRC, if the child hasn't been officially diagnosed or labeled with a disability I don't think you (OP) would be discriminating against them as only certain disabilities that have been diagnosed are protected under ADA laws.Comment
-
I agree with terming.
With any lie, they tend to snowball. Not good for any type of relationship based on trust.Comment
-
I would be terming also... it states right in my policies & on the contract my reasons; main one is lying.
Part of my contract...
... I further agree to Indemnify, defend and hold xxx xxxx and the childcare harmless from any and against all actions, claims or liabilities, including Attorney fees and court costs directly or indirectly caused by my child or me in the form of frivolous complaints or accusations, or any inaccuracies and/or omissions made by me in completing registration forms.
from a different paragraph...
Health: My child is in good to excellent health and physical condition and has no medical, psychological, physical or mental conditions that have not been disclosed to the childcare on the registration form.Comment
-
Perhaps they prefer their child to be treated like a normal child and not a child with special needs. Also some people are just private and don't want to share personnel information. They wanted you to care for their daughter like she had nothing wrong with her and that is what she did.Comment
-
I'm not sure they lied? They told you about the brain issue and that things were fine. That may have been what doctors led them to believe. I know docs are very cautious about testing and diagnosing - even when parents come in repeatedly with issues. So now it's becoming clearer that things are not fine, they are going for more tests which they told you about.
Unless I'm missing something? :confused:
That said, it seems as though this child isn't a good fit for your program. And there is nothing wrong with that!
Comment
That would be a shock but good job on your part .
Comment