Help! New DCG, 2, Screamer

[midaycare]

I have a new dcg who comes one day a week for the summer, and will be full time in the Fall. Dcm is a teacher.

So anyway ... dcg was born early by several weeks and has some speech and small developmental delays. Only the speech is really noticeable. I'm not even sure if it's relevant, but I'll throw it out there, in case you guys think it is.

She is a screamer. I've had screamers before, and they really don't bother me. But this is more of a stubborn, attention-getting bloody-murder scream (I think). She seems to do it when she wants attention. Which is all the time. If I don't serve her first at meals, she screams and has a melt down. If I don't get her out of her booster seat first, scream and melt down. Doesn't want to nap? Which is every day, of course. Screams and melt down. It's all day long.

I have a cry corner, which works really well with everyone else. By day 2 of using the cry corner, no one cries here unless they are hurt. Or if they do, they head over to the cry corner by themselves.

This dcg though - her screams are so horrific she scares the other kids!

What to do, what to do? My guess (again, who knows for sure?) is that dcm and dcd coddle her because she born early and needed the extra attention.

[daycare]

I have a new dcg who comes one day a week for the summer, and will be full time in the Fall. Dcm is a teacher.

So anyway ... dcg was born early by several weeks and has some speech and small developmental delays. Only the speech is really noticeable. I'm not even sure if it's relevant, but I'll throw it out there, in case you guys think it is.

She is a screamer. I've had screamers before, and they really don't bother me. But this is more of a stubborn, attention-getting bloody-murder scream (I think). She seems to do it when she wants attention. Which is all the time. If I don't serve her first at meals, she screams and has a melt down. If I don't get her out of her booster seat first, scream and melt down. Doesn't want to nap? Which is every day, of course. Screams and melt down. It's all day long.

I have a cry corner, which works really well with everyone else. By day 2 of using the cry corner, no one cries here unless they are hurt. Or if they do, they head over to the cry corner by themselves.

This dcg though - her screams are so horrific she scares the other kids!

What to do, what to do? My guess (again, who knows for sure?) is that dcm and dcd coddle her because she born early and needed the extra attention.

At one day a week that young I don't think you will be able to resolve much.

Every time she crys I would put her in the crying corner.

[midaycare]

At one day a week that young I don't think you will be able to resolve much.

Every time she crys I would put her in the crying corner.

That was my thought too. One day a week is hard!!! I'm going to suggest next summer NO WAY.

[Thriftylady]

I agree that one day a week it is hard to get them used to how things work at daycare. Would mom be willing to go to at least three days a week? I bet it would help.

[Blackcat31]

If I were you, Id suggest mom build up to full time using what time is left of summer. Next week come 2 days, the week after come 3 etc etc.. so that by the time school is back in session she is a regular.

She isn't going to get any better unless she grows accustomed to your routine and attending only one day per week is not helping at all.

If you normally allow reduced attendance for teachers in the summer time, I see no reason why you cant do that still for the next summer AFTER she has been with you for the school year and has grown to know and follow your routine and expectations.

If she doesn't show improvement with the added attendance, I wouldn't keep her. I just can't deal with screamer kids or parents that coddle or reinforce the behaviors.... just can't.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I agree that one day a week is hard. I have a 2 year old just like this but she comes 5 days and one thing I found that helps is to give her jobs. She gets a wet wipe to clean toys. She sets the table. She puts anything in the garbage that I ask her too. I have a tuperware drawer and I will take a few out and tell her she needs to "wash" them (wet paper towel) and put them back in the drawer nicely. Ect. She is very verbal though and able to understand things very easily, so I just found that her crying was more due to boredom than anything else. The jobs make her feel important, but the kicker is that if she is upset and crying over non issues, she won't get to help me with our daily tasks. So far it has worked, but again, she is here everyday and I have a small group, so I am not sure if it would work in your situation.

[midaycare]

I agree that one day a week is hard. I have a 2 year old just like this but she comes 5 days and one thing I found that helps is to give her jobs. She gets a wet wipe to clean toys. She sets the table. She puts anything in the garbage that I ask her too. I have a tuperware drawer and I will take a few out and tell her she needs to "wash" them (wet paper towel) and put them back in the drawer nicely. Ect. She is very verbal though and able to understand things very easily, so I just found that her crying was more due to boredom than anything else. The jobs make her feel important, but the kicker is that if she is upset and crying over non issues, she won't get to help me with our daily tasks. So far it has worked, but again, she is here everyday and I have a small group, so I am not sure if it would work in your situation.

I have tried similar things, but she just screams louder But I appreciate the suggestions. I think if she were 6 months older, or was not developmentally delayed, it would definitely work.

[midaycare]

I agree that one day a week it is hard to get them used to how things work at daycare. Would mom be willing to go to at least three days a week? I bet it would help.

Dcm is really relaxed. She will do whatever she needs to in order to hold her spot.

I'm not sure I want dcg here 3x a week this summer. Yikes! Maybe it's better to deal with full-time in the Fall.

[midaycare]

If I were you, Id suggest mom build up to full time using what time is left of summer. Next week come 2 days, the week after come 3 etc etc.. so that by the time school is back in session she is a regular.

She isn't going to get any better unless she grows accustomed to your routine and attending only one day per week is not helping at all.

If you normally allow reduced attendance for teachers in the summer time, I see no reason why you cant do that still for the next summer AFTER she has been with you for the school year and has grown to know and follow your routine and expectations.

If she doesn't show improvement with the added attendance, I wouldn't keep her. I just can't deal with screamer kids or parents that coddle or reinforce the behaviors.... just can't.

I really need to have a talk with dcm and figue out if this goes on at home. I believe this is coddling, from what I observed in the interview ... but you know. Dcm is a teacher, so you think, 'teachers know how to raise a child, right?'

[daycare]

Dcm is really relaxed. She will do whatever she needs to in order to hold her spot.

I'm not sure I want dcg here 3x a week this summer. Yikes! Maybe it's better to deal with full-time in the Fall.

when does she start in the fall.

I would do what BC suggested one month before she starts so that once she is FT in the fall she will be adjusted to your program.

[Shell]

The screaming drives me crazy, but I can put up with just about anything one day a week. Dcb here used to come 1 day a week and scream his head off. It just took time. I don't have a crying corner, I just try to ignore it and put on music and keep everyone distracted. It takes time, but it does stop (just as you're about to term, suddenly it changes :.

I realize I give that advice often- to ignore the crying- and it sure is hard to do. I just go on with my day smiling, doing crafts, etc- no reaction to the screams (unless there's an actual injury).

Now she's coming full time in the fall?! That might be tough in the beginning.
I personally wouldn't want her coming more than necessary this summer, but it's just my opinion

[Blackcat31]

I really need to have a talk with dcm and figue out if this goes on at home. I believe this is coddling, from what I observed in the interview ... but you know. Dcm is a teacher, so you think, 'teachers know how to raise a child, right?'

Unfortunately, I've found that teacher kids are the worst.

....wait, the kids aren't so bad but the behaviors of the parents are tough to manage. I have yet to have a teacher family that "gets it" although every.single.one of them will say they do during the interview.

Apparently, they see it in everyone else but not themselves.

[daycare]

Unfortunately, I've found that teacher kids are the worst.

....wait, the kids aren't so bad but the behaviors of the parents are tough to manage. I have yet to have a teacher family that "gets it" although every.single.one of them will say they do during the interview.

Apparently, they see it in everyone else but not themselves.

I can agree with that, my sister included. my sis is a teacher and I think it barrels down to her thinking that she knows it all when in fact she is making things worse not better.

she over validates everything with her child and it drives me and anyone else around her and my nephew insane.

I interviewed a teacher/child a few months back and on the spot told them we were not a good fit. the child almost slammed my foot in the door after asking her to leave my back door alone about 20 times. I was done and the parent said nothing....