Tweet
Dcb is 27m. He has been coming here since he was 8 weeks old. Family has, and is, awesome. Seriously, no complaints. Dcb has been throwing these massive fits lately however that result in hysterical crying for 1, 2, 2.5 hours over anything. Yesterday it was because he wanted my tablet (never happens, we have no screen time here...this is an area his parents and I disagree with and very much a part of these meltdowns I believe), then it was because he had to play on his own, then it was because he got in trouble for throwing play-doh and had to pick it up and put it away. This morning, it's because he wants to go to Grandma's. I have a calm down spot...it is in the same area as us but not where he can directly see us (if he doesn't go there he follows me everywhere screaming). But he's spending a ton of time there and not getting the "calm down" part. Talking with him doesn't help, sitting with him doesn't shorten the time (and is not possible with the other kids). Mom and dad are 100% on board with the discipline I do here so he is getting that consistently. I cannot call for pick up because half the time that would just be givimg into his fits (and it would be every day...I don't want to term or loose this family.) I'm just at a loss though, it's been going on for a while, nothing is "clicking" with him and I am SO ready to be done with the screaming. Any suggestions?
-
-
Could he be over tired? Maybe his sleep schedule has changed at home? Maybe try an early morning nap when he first arrives. -
I'm not sure how helpful this is but I have previously had the same experiences.
The only things that have helped was; older kids playing in the younger kids area...my crying toddlers would be distracted and curious as to what they were doing for long enough to stop crying....but if a child their age or younger is with them, they would continue screaming.
Sometimes just going outside worked.
Other times if I held him it would help.
In the end though I had to term as the time to calm down took away from the daycare and I could not calm him for extended periods.Comment
-
Thats what I'm worried about, I can't spend as much time as he takes calming him down and it really worries me what will happen when baby number 3 comes in October. All this screaming would def keep a newborn up (I just pray it's over by then). I've tried going outside or for a walk but he screams through the whole thing, my neighbors must think I'm torturing the kid
Comment
-
I had this little dude. I found the best thing for him was putting him back down in the morning upon arrival for 30-45 minutes. He doesn't come until 7 so he shouldn't need to go back to sleep but he does for some reason. It's as if waking up here resets the whole day. If he doesn't get that sleep, he's miserable and I want to term on the spot.
Worth a try? Otherwise, I'd put him down for a nap if he isn't figuring out that the calm down spot means to chill out. Chill until you can rejoin the group or nap, those are your choices.Comment
-
Agree with trying an early nap- that could be the issue.
I know it's hard, and some might say insensitive, but I completely ignore when kids are crying over nothing. I know it might be hard for the duration you are Talking about here, but is it just for attention, maybe?
Edited to add: could you try a snack? I know many of is stick to set meal times, but maybe give that a try?Comment
-
Is he on the tablet most if not all of the time he is at home? If so, you are most likely seeing his detox every day. As he gets older and can demand the tablet with success at home he will have more intense detox at your house.
He also may be given the tablet in bed and staying up until he passes out. He may be up very late at night while the parents sleep on the tablet. I'm hearing this a lot now. Kids are given the tablet in the bed and the parents just go to bed so they don't know what time the kid passed out.Comment
-
I do a lot of ignoring as well, every other kid it works great for. They realize they aren't getting attention, get bored and stop. Not this one, this one just goes at it harder *sigh* The snack thing sometimes distracts, I've done that esp on days when everyone is loosing it. He will want to eat but also cry and scream through the whole thing and well, that's not happening
Not only for annoyance reasons but I'm afraid he'll choke. But it does work sometimes at least!
Comment
-
Yup, this kid LOVES his electronics. His parents and I agree on nearly everything but not this. I know he's given it the moment he gets in the car, I suspect through the evening. Bedtime, it wouldn't surprise me but I haven't heard about it yet. Last I knew his bedtime meant falling asleep in front of the TV snuggling with mom then transfered to his bed (OK so here's another thing we don't agree on
). I know dad was really pushing a "real" bedtime where he just lays him down, says goodnight etc and that's the end of it. I wonder if they've been giving the tablet as a sort of middle ground to this. They have mentioned these meltdowns and would let him cry some but I think mom gives in pretty quickly
I haven't seen a kid this addicted to technology, ever. Very worrying for what future daycare kids may be like!Comment
-
I would always try extra sleep or something to eat before trying anything else.
Since dad recognizes there is a problem at bedtime with the tablet why not speak to dad? Does he ever pick up? Sometimes if you know one parent is more sympathetic it may give that parent more 'ammunition' when dealing with the spouse. "Honey, daycare provider has suggested this approach as well."
A worst case scenario for a great family is to give them an ultimatum, nicely of course. I have done it with great results. "Mom, he has been crying for so long and everything I try doesn't seem to be working. This is just not working out. It is affecting me and the other children." I am willing to keep trying for 2 more weeks and if things don't change I'm sorry but I'll have to no choice but to not watch him anymore."
I did the above with a non napping baby and that baby was napping here in 2 days and he was only a part time 3 day a week baby! Turns out parents were letting him sleep in so they could get dressed for work in peace. They said they changed that and he slept great.
LaurelComment
-
Yes, I mostly see dad he picks up and drops off most of the time. I started reading some articles on technology addicted kids and oh my goodness...this little guy fits it perfectly. Dad would see the tablet as a minor problem at bed but thinks nothing of giving it at pick up. I def am going to try the naps, and snack if he can keep it together enough to eat but I think I may need to start brainstorming ways to talk about the overuse of technology. I'm not at an ultimatum point yet. I'm willing to work with him and them for a while first. Really hoping it doesn't come to that though!Comment
Comment