Oh Boy I Dunno

[Thriftylady]

So DCM who I had to work with on trusting me and fight to sleep train DCG who was 12 months and left me for a provider that was only charging her $30 a week. Guess what? She just texted me and wants to start again tomorrow. Things were not all bad with her, she was just so overprotective, we worked some of the things out. I told her to come talk to me tonight. All she said in text is that the "babysitter" isn't doing what she is supposed to. Whatever that means. I guess the answer if I will take her back or not depends on the details of the situation. I am down to no kids, have one part time temporary boy starting next week, and need kids. But I want to find out what is up first because I don't intend for her to be temporary again. And depending on what happened with the "babysitter" I may not want to involve myself.

What questions would you be asking this mom? Would you make any demands of her? Just in general IF you took her back how would you decide that and how would you handle it? She left on mostly good terms. She didn't give a two week notice but didn't ask for any refund of paid fees or deposit either.

[Shell]

Don't do it! I get that the "babysitter" isn't doing things the way she wants, but neither were you- she wanted you to be cheaper, kwim?

If you go along with this, it's entirely possible she will drop you if she finds a better price. If you really need this dck, lock her into a two week's notice policy so she doesn't abruptly leave.

[childcaremom]

If you take them back:

Be very clear on your expectations (contract, payment, your rules - if I remember correctly she had issues with food?). Any other areas that were unclear or issues - get that straightened out first.

Payment up front (which by the way have your rates increased ). Work on the 2 week deposit (maybe set up a payment plan).

[AmyKidsCo]

Honestly, I wouldn't take her back. There are very few reasons for a parent leaving that I'd overlook to consider taking them back. Losing a job, major health problems, that sort of thing. But if they dropped me because they (think) they found something better - no way. And her saying the new person "isn't doing what she's supposed to" is just another red flag - to me that means "she's not doing what I want her to"

[Thriftylady]

Yes I had issues with her with food. She didn't want me to feed her DD goldfish at snack one day, and the same day she got upset because I don't serve Koolaid. I really need the money coming in. I am going to talk to her in a little bit when she comes and see. But my handbook and contract have been changed due to her.

[lblanke]

You might consider taking her if you really need kids, because sometimes it is easier to get more kids when you already have some. Then, if is not working out, once you have more kids, you could always term if it doesn't work out. Especially if you get new inquiries from your recent booth, it might be nice to already have kids enrolled as the inquires start rolling in. Good luck!

[Pepperth]

Can you take her on a probationary period? Having the income again would be tempting. I'd only give her one shot at this though. Make your expectations very clear.

[Controlled Chaos]

You might consider taking her if you really need kids, because sometimes it is easier to get more kids when you already have some. Then, if is not working out, once you have more kids, you could always term if it doesn't work out. Especially if you get new inquiries from your recent booth, it might be nice to already have kids enrolled as the inquires start rolling in. Good luck!

On the survival note - I would take her back. Use her child to take amazing promotional pictures. It will help bring in other parents. As soon as you have 2-3 more families, then term unless she has completely changed

[Thriftylady]

On the survival note - I would take her back. Use her child to take amazing promotional pictures. It will help bring in other parents. As soon as you have 2-3 more families, then term unless she has completely changed

This is what I am doing. And I have a grandmother paying to drop off first payment and enrollment tomorrow for her grandson. He is starting Sunday. The hours with this one are not prime since she works at Wal-mart, but her grandson will only be with her for two months. I am doing it since it is temporary. Grandma seems so easy to work with. Hopefully these two will carry me until something else happens.

[ColorfulSunburst]

$30 per week?!
Who can describe me WHY?!!! people do it?

PS I'm so sorry for off topic

[Thriftylady]

$30 per week?!
Who can describe me WHY?!!! people do it?

PS I'm so sorry for off topic

I have no clue. I am not sure if she was providing food or not. What I do know is that Dad's work schedule changed. He is working days now due to an injury and will go back to nights in a month or so. Apparently yesterday (first day of this) she had told mom she would not be available until and hour later than needed when they discussed earlier drop off. Today, DCM went to the door and there was a teenager there she didn't know who said she was subbing, and that the provider would be there later. DCM was not okay with that as she hadn't been told and she had not met this teenager. DCM knows my DD and she subbed once for me with this mom. I can see her being upset by not being told.

I do know why she choose the $30 a week care, she is scraping to get by and planning to move in with dad soon, and is not getting state daycare because their combined income will be to high for it. I am giving her this last chance, but if she "dumps" me again I am done with her.

[Baby Beluga]

I have no clue. I am not sure if she was providing food or not. What I do know is that Dad's work schedule changed. He is working days now due to an injury and will go back to nights in a month or so. Apparently yesterday (first day of this) she had told mom she would not be available until and hour later than needed when they discussed earlier drop off. Today, DCM went to the door and there was a teenager there she didn't know who said she was subbing, and that the provider would be there later. DCM was not okay with that as she hadn't been told and she had not met this teenager. DCM knows my DD and she subbed once for me with this mom. I can see her being upset by not being told.

I do know why she choose the $30 a week care, she is scraping to get by and planning to move in with dad soon, and is not getting state daycare because their combined income will be to high for it. I am giving her this last chance, but if she "dumps" me again I am done with her.

I hope for your sake, this go round is much better then the first.

On a side note, what did DCM expect for $30 per week. Even if the provider wasn't providing food, you get what you pay for.

[Thriftylady]

I hope for your sake, this go round is much better then the first.

On a side note, what did DCM expect for $30 per week. Even if the provider wasn't providing food, you get what you pay for.

That is exactly what hubby said, and what I thought. But I promise you we get flamed on this board for saying that. And I guess some may say that about me because I have lowered my rates from $100 a week to $60 for now to get some families in. But I give good, quality care for that. Just that nobody here wants to pay for it. Our area is financially depressed for sure, but I am as low as I can go and provide healthy meals and snacks, arts and crafts and other activities and still make a little money.

DH told me tonight I am to low, I am not making enough for hour. I had to remind him nobody can pay it. He forgets how expensive it is, because once we married I was always home with the kids even when we had to sacrifice for me to be.

[Blackcat31]

Honestly, I wouldn't take her back. There are very few reasons for a parent leaving that I'd overlook to consider taking them back. Losing a job, major health problems, that sort of thing. But if they dropped me because they (think) they found something better - no way. And her saying the new person "isn't doing what she's supposed to" is just another red flag - to me that means "she's not doing what I want her to"

I agree with Amy.
There are VERY few situations in which I'd consider taking a family back and the second I read "new provider isn't doing what she is suppose to" a little voice in my head screamed:



"RUN!!!!!!!!"

[Blackcat31]

That is exactly what hubby said, and what I thought. But I promise you we get flamed on this board for saying that. And I guess some may say that about me because I have lowered my rates from $100 a week to $60 for now to get some families in. But I give good, quality care for that. Just that nobody here wants to pay for it. Our area is financially depressed for sure, but I am as low as I can go and provide healthy meals and snacks, arts and crafts and other activities and still make a little money.

DH told me tonight I am to low, I am not making enough for hour. I had to remind him nobody can pay it. He forgets how expensive it is, because once we married I was always home with the kids even when we had to sacrifice for me to be.

...because it's insulting to some. (bolded)

Based on what you just said (underlined above), it should be insulting to you as well.