Where Is The Line Between Sharing And Taking Turns?

[spud912]

I generally prescribe to the idea that if someone has an item or two, they don't have to share because they had it first. If it is a popular item, I do instill taking turns (depending on the item determines how long they get with it). However, what do you all do if you have multiple items....purchased enough for everyone? Then one child takes all of it and starts an engaging play activity. When the other kids see how much fun that child is, they automatically want in on the action and want some of the items? I am torn between the fact that they had it first so they get it first and they should share because they have an excessive amount.

An example being that I have about 20-25 dinosaurs out right now. It was from the dinosaur theme about 3 weeks ago so it's not something we are actively doing right now but the toys are still fairly popular. I have a couple of children who will take them out and engage in an activity with all of them and then the other children want 1 or 2 but the child with all 20 doesn't want to share. Would you require them to share or redirect the others to something else? Another example is that I have about 200 Magna Tiles. One child will take them all and start building something elaborate. All of a sudden everyone wants to play with them. Would you require sharing?

[Blackcat31]

I generally prescribe to the idea that if someone has an item or two, they don't have to share because they had it first. If it is a popular item, I do instill taking turns (depending on the item determines how long they get with it). However, what do you all do if you have multiple items....purchased enough for everyone? Then one child takes all of it and starts an engaging play activity. When the other kids see how much fun that child is, they automatically want in on the action and want some of the items? I am torn between the fact that they had it first so they get it first and they should share because they have an excessive amount.

An example being that I have about 20-25 dinosaurs out right now. It was from the dinosaur theme about 3 weeks ago so it's not something we are actively doing right now but the toys are still fairly popular. I have a couple of children who will take them out and engage in an activity with all of them and then the other children want 1 or 2 but the child with all 20 doesn't want to share. Would you require them to share or redirect the others to something else? Another example is that I have about 200 Magna Tiles. One child will take them all and start building something elaborate. All of a sudden everyone wants to play with them. Would you require sharing?

In cases of toys where you have enough that a group of 2-3 kids can play, that toy/activity is NOT counted as an individual thing they don't have to share.
If one child takes 20-25 dinosaurs out and is playing alone, but another child wants in, they should be allowed to play too...the original child can claim x number of dinosaurs as his and the other child gets some too.

The ONLY time I do not require sharing is when the activity or toy is generally geared towards only 1 maybe 2 kids or there is only one of that item.

Legos
My Little Pony's
Mr Potato Head
Puppets
Blocks


Those ^^^ are all examples of things more than one child can play with (the sharing part is required but not for specific blocks ponies or puppets etc)




Toys/activities that I don't buy tons of and have only a few are those things that one child CAN play with, without having to allow another child to play too.

Does that make sense?

[AmyKidsCo]

My rule is whoever has it first can keep it until they're done. Even if they have ALL the whatevers. Even if they want to keep them ALL DAY. Usually when children feel secure that they don't have to give something up before they're done they're more generous and willing to share. It's when someone else chooses what they get and how long they get it that they hoard things. I also encourage the child who wants something to ask for a turn "when you're done"

[childcaremom]

My rule is whoever has it first can keep it until they're done. Even if they have ALL the whatevers. Even if they want to keep them ALL DAY. Usually when children feel secure that they don't have to give something up before they're done they're more generous and willing to share. It's when someone else chooses what they get and how long they get it that they hoard things. I also encourage the child who wants something to ask for a turn "when you're done"

This is exactly what I do, too.

[spud912]

In cases of toys where you have enough that a group of 2-3 kids can play, that toy/activity is NOT counted as an individual thing they don't have to share.
If one child takes 20-25 dinosaurs out and is playing alone, but another child wants in, they should be allowed to play too...the original child can claim x number of dinosaurs as his and the other child gets some too.

The ONLY time I do not require sharing is when the activity or toy is generally geared towards only 1 maybe 2 kids or there is only one of that item.

Legos
My Little Pony's
Mr Potato Head
Puppets
Blocks


Those ^^^ are all examples of things more than one child can play with (the sharing part is required but not for specific blocks ponies or puppets etc)




Toys/activities that I don't buy tons of and have only a few are those things that one child CAN play with, without having to allow another child to play too.

Does that make sense?

That's what I have been doing. I guess I had some doubt cause I have a couple who have serious issues with coming up with their own activities and just follow the creative ones around constantly taking their toys and ideas.

[Blackcat31]

My rule is whoever has it first can keep it until they're done. Even if they have ALL the whatevers. Even if they want to keep them ALL DAY. Usually when children feel secure that they don't have to give something up before they're done they're more generous and willing to share. It's when someone else chooses what they get and how long they get it that they hoard things. I also encourage the child who wants something to ask for a turn "when you're done"

This is my general philosophy about sharing but I have several things that are meant for group play...plain and simple and honestly when it comes to those things (where I have LOTS) one child doesn't need to play with 20-25 dinosaurs alone.... 10 maybe...but when it's a huge collection, it can be shared. They don't have to play WITH each other but there are enough that more than one kid can play at one time.

[spud912]

Example today: we are outside playing with water. One girl has discovered what happens when you mix chalk and water. 2 dcks think it's neat what she is doing so they go to her area and squirt her drawings with water, take her chalk, and crowd her. I have a lot of chalk and concrete but they feel the need to be on top of her work space. This happens constantly throughout the day. I spend all day redirecting, time outs, dividing toys, monitoring turns, etc.

[childcaremom]

Example today: we are outside playing with water. One girl has discovered what happens when you mix chalk and water. 2 dcks think it's neat what she is doing so they go to her area and squirt her drawings with water, take her chalk, and crowd her. I have a lot of chalk and concrete but they feel the need to be on top of her work space. This happens constantly throughout the day. I spend all day redirecting, time outs, dividing toys, monitoring turns, etc.

I would have removed the 2 dcks and told them to wait their turn and / or ask the dcg if they could join her.

If there are a lot of instances of that, I limit the number of children in each station. Or assign them stations and rotate through them.

[Laurel]

I generally prescribe to the idea that if someone has an item or two, they don't have to share because they had it first. If it is a popular item, I do instill taking turns (depending on the item determines how long they get with it). However, what do you all do if you have multiple items....purchased enough for everyone? Then one child takes all of it and starts an engaging play activity. When the other kids see how much fun that child is, they automatically want in on the action and want some of the items? I am torn between the fact that they had it first so they get it first and they should share because they have an excessive amount.

An example being that I have about 20-25 dinosaurs out right now. It was from the dinosaur theme about 3 weeks ago so it's not something we are actively doing right now but the toys are still fairly popular. I have a couple of children who will take them out and engage in an activity with all of them and then the other children want 1 or 2 but the child with all 20 doesn't want to share. Would you require them to share or redirect the others to something else? Another example is that I have about 200 Magna Tiles. One child will take them all and start building something elaborate. All of a sudden everyone wants to play with them. Would you require sharing?

What you can do is have 2 containers of dinosaurs with half in each container. They may take 1 container but they can keep it as long as they want to. When they are finished they put it back on the shelf. Same with the tiles. If you have enough divide into even more containers.

I'm not sure how old your children are but when I worked in a Montessori classroom (3-5 year olds) the rules were. You take an activity off the shelf, play for it as long as you want to and the next child needs to wait until it is put back on the shelf. However, if child 2 asks child 1 if he can play with child 1 and child one agrees, then they play together. If the answer is no, they walk away. That would work for the chalk outside.

Laurel

[Unregistered]

When there is a large tub of toys or even say a child has six cars and that's all there is I say you only have two hands to play with those toys. There's plenty for your friend to play with. When they yell, "mine!" I remind them the toys really belong to me and I'm allowing them to use them and their friend to have some. I encourage sharing of large bins of toys.

In my practical mind there is not read on for one child to have 26 Dino's to himself. That's why I have 26..... So there's enough for a few kids to play with them. I would encourage them to each take 5 or 6 and those could belong to them for the duration of the play tine. For me if one child had all 26 all day, that would be hording.

I'm one that let's children bring one thing from home each day. These things from home they don't have to share. It sometimes causes a tiny bit of squabbles with younger kids...like 2's, but I firmly believe in them having something from home and also not having to share it.

I've never had hoarders, maybe because they can bring something from home. I never really thought about it.

I don't allow them to pick and choose who gets to play with their toy from home. If they don't want to share it they don't have to. But if their pulling favorites with it they have to use it themselves or put it away.

I guess we're all a bit different in our philosophies and that's ok!

[Unregistered]

That's no reason...not no read on-dang auto correct!

[Unregistered]

That's no reason...not no read on-dang auto correct!

Also, with all that said there certainly are toys that children don't have to share and many times I say Jonathon has that now let's go find something else. Even if a child is using something like the parking garage and has an elaborate game going on....there's room for two but I wouldn't make the child share his creation and play space unless he wants it every day at all times.

[Unregistered]

What you can do is have 2 containers of dinosaurs with half in each container. They may take 1 container but they can keep it as long as they want to. When they are finished they put it back on the shelf. Same with the tiles. If you have enough divide into even more containers.

I'm not sure how old your children are but when I worked in a Montessori classroom (3-5 year olds) the rules were. You take an activity off the shelf, play for it as long as you want to and the next child needs to wait until it is put back on the shelf. However, if child 2 asks child 1 if he can play with child 1 and child one agrees, then they play together. If the answer is no, they walk away. That would work for the chalk outside.

Laurel

This how I do it too. It helps and I try to break up the big toys by how many kids I have, but that is easy for me, since I only have a max of 4 most days, so you may not be able to do that, but at least a few baskets may help.

[Thriftylady]

I have baskets. I have the rule that each child may have one basket out at a time. They can play together if they ask the other child and that child says yes. If it is a popular toy, I man force a rotation if the first child seems to try to keep it all day.

[Controlled Chaos]

What you can do is have 2 containers of dinosaurs with half in each container. They may take 1 container but they can keep it as long as they want to. When they are finished they put it back on the shelf. Same with the tiles. If you have enough divide into even more containers.

I'm not sure how old your children are but when I worked in a Montessori classroom (3-5 year olds) the rules were. You take an activity off the shelf, play for it as long as you want to and the next child needs to wait until it is put back on the shelf. However, if child 2 asks child 1 if he can play with child 1 and child one agrees, then they play together. If the answer is no, they walk away. That would work for the chalk outside.

Laurel

This is what I do too. All toys are in smaller containers (except like dress up and cars - but I have never had a hoarding/sharing issue with either).