Curious How Many of You Are Softies :)

[Josiegirl]

Many appear to be 'by the book' and don't stray from or bend the rules. While I'm not the doormat I used to be when I first started out I do tend to have give and take(in many ways) within my daycare.
I either have too soft of a heart or can see both sides too often. Maybe the Libra in me??
So how do you roll in dealing with dcks and their parents?
I do have to say if dcps weren't flexible and if they were hard to deal with, I'd be right by the book and not give a second of my time in helping them out. It's not like I'm letting them take advantage but more like since they picked up their kid an hour early so I could make a dr. appt., then I'm willing to overlook their 7 minutes late 1 day, ya know?

Just wondering.....

[Sugar Magnolia]

I try to find a balance between by-the-book and softie. I have firm policies and I enforce (or not enforce) as I see fit. Does mom need to pay late because of overspending on vacation? Or because her car broke down? It's at my discretion and I love that. I never charged a late fee to a mom that was constantly 5 min late....because she relied on the public bus system. But a dad who was constantly late because the line was long at Starbucks? Charged.
Generally speaking......softie here. But not a push over.

[Onawhim]

I am a big softie. I try to help when I can, but I expect the same in return. It's what I would want in a provider if I was sending my child.

[mamamanda]

I'm a softie...way too much so. I'm working on it, but I HATE confrontation & most of my clients are family friends so it makes it harder. Personally, if I had a good friend who was providing my childcare I'd bend over backward to make sure I wasn't abusing the relationship. I am doing better though. I've been changing policies little by little & enforcing them more. I keep thinking about Blackcat saying that saying yes to them often means saying no to you & that helps.

[NoMoreJuice!]

I've conditioned myself to only be a softie towards parents who deserve it. Monday, my favorite family asked me if I could watch their kids until six last night. I had no problem doing that. However, a former SA kid stopped by unannounced yesterday with her dad, DURING NAPTIME, and wanted to visit the kids. I LOVE the kid, but the dad is a different story. I had to turn them away and when he asked if she could come play a different day, I gladly agreed! For my daily rate.

[Blackcat31]

I doubt anyone would call me a softie but I am flexible and laid back about every aspect of this job except:

• Payment
• Licensing regulations (especially safety)
• Manners/Respect (both kids and parents)

If a parent has those things down, we're golden.

Everything else, I can and will put forth the effort to either let it go or change it. Depending on the subject/situation.

[DaveA]

Wouldn't call myself a "softie" but one of the good things about being the boss is you can apply common sense discretion. If the family/ situation warrants a "bend" in the rules, then so be it. If not I'm pretty by the book.

[nanglgrl]

As someone who just termed a client for being 7 minutes late after they'd picked up early I'm sure it looks like I'm by the book and never a softie but that's not the case.

To me there is a fine line with being a softie and being a pushover. Very few things have remained consistent in all my years doing childcare but one thing that has is that with the majority of clients if you give an inch they take a mile.

In my recent term (I've only termed two families in 13 years) I could see the mother had no respect for my policies and that if I bent she was going to expect it every time. There were other clues such as when I sent her my vacation days for the year she responded "let me see if I can make these work"..um no, these are the days I'm off, and other things that when added together made me realize we had a problem.

My policy is parents pay on Monday morning before care or their child can't come. Every so often a parent forgets and asks to bring it at pick up, as long as I haven't had any payment issues with them I'm fine with waiting for payment same goes if they happen to be absent on Monday. I also have parents that are late every so often and I don't charge them as long as they don't abuse my generosity and try to take advantage of me. My rule is they can be late twice a year for up to 15 minutes AS LONG AS THEY CALL BEFORE THEIR SCHEDULED PICK UP TIME. Most of my clients are never late, my most recent term didn't call, didn't answer the phone when I called and didn't even apologize. I also have a no drop offs after 9:30 rule that I started because I had clients that would keep their child up late, let them sleep in I until 10:30 and bring them only to have them keep everyone else up from nap but will bend that if I know the child will still rest at nap time.

I've learned to go by my gut because it never fails, the few times I've discounted that nagging feeling I've regretted it.

[Baby Beluga]

I agree, it is a very fine line and I base a lot of my decisions on the relationship with the family I have.

For example: wonderful DCM who generally picks up 30 minutes before her contracted pick up time happens to be 3 minutes late one day? I am not going to charge her. The DCM who was always late every single day because she wanted to go home and shower/go to the store/do whatever without her child because she is a single mom? Yes, she will be charged every single time. That DCM was also terminated after 6 weeks.

[childcaremom]

To me there is a fine line with being a softie and being a pushover. Very few things have remained consistent in all my years doing childcare but one thing that has is that with the majority of clients if you give an inch they take a mile.

Sadly this is what I've found, too. I am flexible but to a point. Like BC, there are certain things that I won't waiver on and are deal breakers (pick up on time, pay me on time, work with me with behaviour issues). Other things I can let slide depending on my relationship with the family.

Honestly, I don't have a lot of "rules" and parents that have problems with them, tend to have a problem with following rules in the first place. In my relatively short career providing daycare, these families never work out long term and no way will I be flexible with them.

[AuntTami]

I'm a major softie. I have about an 8'page handbook, but I couldn't even tell you what most of it says. It's a formality mostly. There's stuff in there that I don't budge on. Payments, pick ups, and illnesses. But most of the time, I'm a softie.

[Blackcat31]

I'm a major softie. I have about an 8'page handbook, but I couldn't even tell you what most of it says. It's a formality mostly. There's stuff in there that I don't budge on. Payments, pick ups, and illnesses. But most of the time, I'm a softie.

If our softie level is measured by the length of our handbooks, I am out.....


My handbook is 36 pages.

[midaycare]

I have a really laid back attitude. So if a parent is 5 or 10 minutes late, it honestly doesn't bother me. I understand that a parent sometimes needs a day to themselves, and sometimes wants to go grocery shopping with a kid. Been there, done that!

I also have pretty good parents. If they weren't, I'd be less inclined to help out here and there.

[AuntTami]

If our softie level is measured by the length of our handbooks, I am out.....


My handbook is 36 pages.

But I bet you know what yours says! Lol. I don't for the most part

[Controlled Chaos]

I prefer the words "kind" and "compassionate". If a parent is respectful, pays on time, says an occasional thank you etc. I will bend over backwards to help them (when able). I was a doormat for 2 years, now I am trying to find that balance between being appropriately flexible when life happens, but to put my kids and faimly first, they matter first.

I was kind to my kids by not allowing a late pickup on a day they had swimming.

I was kind to the daycare family who picked up late by greeting them with a smile, assuring them I wasn't mad, telling them about baby's happy day, they paid for the time (a fair late fee), and I still loved them and their little one.