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I've talked about these children before. I had huge issues with dcg4 but now the issues lie with dcb3. He is being so mean and so spiteful to the other kids. He can be a very sweet boy but when he's not he's not. He was helping me bake this morning while 3 other children colored at the table, he then turned to the table. Grabbed dcg2 1/2s picture and crumbled it while staring her in the eye. I told him they is not okay, you don't ruin other peoples things. Took his toy he had and set him on his bum. He proceeded to cry for his mom and then stopped. told me his tears were away and he's ready to get up. I'm so frustrated because he will use do something like that again when I let him up. He's going for a terrible mean faze. I need advice on how to deal.
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Separate him. Give him x number of chances to be nice. At 3 yrs old, I'd probably give him 2 chances.
I'd separate him and have him sit like you did above and give him another chance to be nice. When and if he decides to be mean again, separate him and have him shadow you for the remainder if the day.
As for the picture he ruined, I'd have him make a picture for daycare girl. It won't replace what she had drawn but it will teach him that HE is responsible for fixing what he ruins. Have him make her a picture and tell her he is sorry he ruined hers.
Rinse and repeat the shadowing until he understands that if he can't be nice, others don't want him to play with or near them. At 3 he is old enough to grasp that concept if there are clear boundaries and swift and immediate consequences.
You don't have to over explain or even discuss it more than once. "Be nice" is a simply concept and one that requires little words but lots of firm reinforcement.
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