Terming for Not a Good Fit

[Unregistered]

Hi all, I have a DCG that started last week that is not going to be a good fit. It was too stressful on her, me, and all the other children. I fear the 4 days she is here this week will not get better. She does not fit in with the group as she is so undersocialized she couldn't handle being in our small group of 3-4 Friday. She's a friend of another daycare mom, so I fear there will be hurt feelings, but not another child leaving because of it.

Can you please share with me your form letter for terminating care effective immediately for "not a good fit?"

Thank you so much!!!

[Play Care]

When I had a similar situation I stressed that it was in the children's best interest to find a different type of care.
I told the parents that in almost ten years I've never had children have such a difficult time and that I felt it was causing them undo stress and upset.
They wound up getting a nanny and it worked out better.

I don't know if I'd say the child wasn't a good fit in this case, but more so stress that the child isn't thriving and is too upset to get the most out of the program, etc.

So maybe something like:

Dear DCP's,

I have enjoyed getting to know Susie. I have noticed that Susie is having an unusually difficult time acclimating to our child care and it seems to be causing her a great deal of stress and discomfort. In my X amount of years of experience I have not come across this, and feel a different care situation might be a better fit for Susie. My last day of care will be X date. Should you need assistant the child care referral agency number is 555-5555. I wish your family the best.

Sincerely,
Provider
ETA: while I realize it can take time to acclimate new children, you probably have a good gut feeling if it's not got got happen. I knew without a doubt that the kids I had were not going to work out by day 3. When the SA kids were starting to refuse to get off the bus by day 5 because of these kids, it was over. I think when you know, you know

[rosieteddy]

When ever I started a new child I knew it would take as much as 3 weeks time to have them fit in.It feels like an eternity ,but still I would stick it out.I have had 3 children who took that long to fit in .After the 3 weeks we went on for 2 years at least and then siblings joined the group.Sometimes it takes a while to settle in.

[Rockgirl]

When ever I started a new child I knew it would take as much as 3 weeks time to have them fit in.It feels like an eternity ,but still I would stick it out.I have had 3 children who took that long to fit in .After the 3 weeks we went on for 2 years at least and then siblings joined the group.Sometimes it takes a while to settle in.

I agree--unless she is completely unbearable, or harmful to the others, I'd give her more time. I had a new girl last Aug. She was 2, and had never been in daycare. She cried most of the day those first few weeks--it was tough. Then she suddenly just came into her own here, and is such a happy-go-lucky girl, and loves being here.

You have to do what is right for you and your group, though. Good luck!

[daycare]

you know you best and what you can or can't handle. SO if you have already thrown in the towel, then so be it and let them go.

Any time I start a new family, I have a two week paid trial. During this time either myself or the client can term for any reason. I use this as the adjustment phase to see if the child will fit into out program. I have had to only term once during the trial period, the child as too aggressive and did not make it past day one.

If you are open to it, I would give it one more week. They do say that it takes 21+ times to form a new habit, so this child will need more time to catch on. During this time if you do keep her, just observe her and make certain that you see even a slight amount of progress.

I would however tell the DCP that she is having difficulty adjusting to your program so they are not blind sided by your term should you need to.
When i am having a hard time with a new child, I often call the parents and tell them, please help me get to know how to deal with your child. What tricks do they use that they know work. Until I really connect with the child and get to know them well, I will call and ask the parents for a little bit of help. Like maybe when the kid is mad she wants to be hugged. Or maybe she hates to be hugged. knowing Little things like that can really really help.

the letter that was provided here would be a good one to send. Just be sure to keep all emotion and opinions out of it.

[childcaremom]

you know you best and what you can or can't handle. SO if you have already thrown in the towel, then so be it and let them go.

Any time I start a new family, I have a two week paid trial. During this time either myself or the client can term for any reason. I use this as the adjustment phase to see if the child will fit into out program. I have had to only term once during the trial period, the child as too aggressive and did not make it past day one.

If you are open to it, I would give it one more week. They do say that it takes 21+ times to form a new habit, so this child will need more time to catch on. During this time if you do keep her, just observe her and make certain that you see even a slight amount of progress.

I would however tell the DCP that she is having difficulty adjusting to your program so they are not blind sided by your term should you need to.
When i am having a hard time with a new child, I often call the parents and tell them, please help me get to know how to deal with your child. What tricks do they use that they know work. Until I really connect with the child and get to know them well, I will call and ask the parents for a little bit of help. Like maybe when the kid is mad she wants to be hugged. Or maybe she hates to be hugged. knowing Little things like that can really really help.

the letter that was provided here would be a good one to send. Just be sure to keep all emotion and opinions out of it.

I do a 4 week trial/transition period. But I usually know by the end of the first week whether or not it will work. If just make sure that I have communicated with parents so that they aren't blindsided. Sometimes it is a fixable issue with some info, as above suggested.

However, if you are going to term I like the letter above. I wouldn't worry about it being a friend of another dcf. A good fit for one doesn't mean it's a good fit for another.

[Unregistered]

Thank you all. I appreciate the feedback. Part of it may be that everyone else is here by 830 and when she arrives at 930 (ish), it isn't free play time so she is taking her time to warm up to the day during projects and although I can stop the other kids don't want to. She cries through everything she doesn't want to do. She's super talkative and can tell me this, also very sensitive and probably never told no. We ate snack outside Friday and the other 2 yr olds, who ask for seconds on applesauce , got up and left because she was crying so horribly last time without finishing. I will watch for progress, and be open to another week if anything improves.

Thanks.

[daycare]

Thank you all. I appreciate the feedback. Part of it may be that everyone else is here by 830 and when she arrives at 930 (ish), it isn't free play time so she is taking her time to warm up to the day during projects and although I can stop the other kids don't want to. She cries through everything she doesn't want to do. She's super talkative and can tell me this, also very sensitive and probably never told no. We ate snack outside Friday and the other 2 yr olds, who ask for seconds on applesauce , got up and left because she was crying so horribly last time without finishing. I will watch for progress, and be open to another week if anything improves.

Thanks.

I have a cut off time so that this does not happen. ALl kids must be here no later than 9am, our class time starts at 930am. this will give them time to free play and transition. I would be telling DCM.

Looks like DCG will need to be here earlier, she is not doing well with being dropped off so close to class time. We want to set her up for success each day, so she will need to be here no later than 910am or whatever time you feel would be best to allow her to get that transition time in.

Also, don't let her cry at the tables, not fair to the other kids. do you have a crying spot? if she starts to cry out like that you can tell her,

dcg seems like you are very upset, you can cry over here in the crying spot and when you are done you can go back to the tables. it will only take a few times for her to figure this out at this age.

i think if you were to adjust her drop off and really be proactive, give her a heads up about what will happen next with your activities, she will get a hang of it.

[grateday]

Flex care nightmare

Wow, you guys. So professional. You are so awesome having a cut off time for drop off. I have flex care, but I am learning that bending over backwords is not working out. I cannot do 8:30am drop offs, or 9:30 am drop offs anymore because it doesn't work with the schedule. So I say 8am, before 9am, unless it is a more mature school age child otherwise things go crazy over here. 8:30am and I am helping my son with his special diet and transitioning kids to wash up and cleaning up. 9:30am with some kids it is just like that, its like they are in that still woke up phase or about to nap phase at home. Parent is dropping off when they are in alpha sleep cycle and they are cranky all day, causing problems when your trying to have a routine with the kids, its behavior after behavior..........Not cool.