Anyone Here Stress Over Confronting Parents And Been Successful In FCC?

[Snowmom]

Caring for friends and family is one of the hardest potential aspects of this job. It's so hard to say no (initially) because we love them, we want the best for them, and you'd think they'd respect you.
I completely sympathize with your situation and I've been there myself (with my SIL/niece).

Most likely, the issues won't change.

If you aren't willing to let them go for your sanity, then I can suggest (like others have) to read through these posts to help you gain some insight on how to handle difficult situations.

I've been doing this over 8 years and honestly, I only just started being firm with my policies/families in the last year or two. The more you do it, the more comfortable you become with enforcing the rules. If it helps, type up some "offense" sheets if you're not comfortable talking face to face. Ex: late fees, payment reminders, etc. Personally, I have a parent blog where I post things (some people use Facebook groups too). I've aired a lot of annoyances that way (reminders to wear sturdy shoes, reiterating sick policies, etc).

Remind yourself this is BUSINESS. Only you are in charge of your business.

[childcaremom]

Yes, confrontation stresses me out. Big time.

To cope:

• I have clear policies. I've written out my expectations. It makes it easier for me to do this so I can refer back to it and (hopefully) leave out the emotion when issues arise.
• I have my key touch points and highlight those areas during the interview. Mine are illness policy, picking up on time and late fees. I go over this during the interview 2 or 3 times so that it is clear. I also tell them that there is no wiggle room on this.
• I have late fees. My phone alarms at pick up times. If someone is here, the late fee sheet goes in the bag automatically. I have a sign in/out sheet but find that this way there is a 'reminder' in the bag for fees.
• Late tuition fees sheet, as well.
• I tell parents to please communicate any issues they are having. I tell them I will do the same. And I do. I email back and forth as it is easier for my time schedule and easier sometimes to do that rather than face to face. It helps me make sure that everything is said and creates a paper trail that I can refer back to.
• If things remain testy with a family, I will email concerns first. Then follow up with a verbal communication. "Did you read my email? Are you clear on the policy?" That sort of thing. Helps to take the emotion out of it for me.

I do agree that the longer you leave things, the harder it is to bring it up. But once you clear the air you will feel so much better.

I could never work with my family. And I avoid working with friends for the same reason.

And this aspect of the job does get easier I've learned to speak up for myself and do it in a professional way. I am a pretty easy going person and laid back so it is easy for me to get taken advantage of. I've learned the hard way to put myself first and value my business and services. You will get there. Consider this practice

[Josiegirl]

I would do 3 things:
1. Depending on what the parents do for a living - try to explain how you asking them to provide those services 40 hours a week for you for free would be ridiculous/rude/impossible etc.

Exactly!! Anybody in the family sell insurance or cars or work at the grocery store or just about anything under the sun?? Are they willing to give you free insurance, free groceries, let you fill up a car on their lot and take it away? Of course not. It's small-minded to think we should work for free also. Explain you only have so many slots you can fill and if you don't charge for them, you'll have to go out and work. Then they can bring them to someone else who will charge no matter what.

[e.j.]

But if the anxiety of confronting them is this bad with them, how will it be when I have to talk to a family who isn't related? It seems like it would be worse, but Idk!

Confrontation is never easy (for me anyway!) but I think it's easier to enforce policies with a dc parent who is not related. There's so much more at risk when you confront a family member. You're not only concerned about your business relationship but with your family/emotional ties as well. When things go bad with a non-relative, you can always term and never see them again. Not as easy with relatives!

It just makes me feel like I'm not cut out for this. Maybe my policies are too strict, and my prices ARE too high! How do you know when to be firm and when to back down?! I'm just freaking out.

You can't be all things to all people. You set your policies and prices according to your needs. If someone doesn't like them, they can always go elsewhere. You know when to be firm when not upholding your policies makes you unhappy. (Your relative wants to visit during nap time but it disrupts nap time for everyone else. That makes you unhappy so you need to be firm on your policy of no dropping by during nap time. If she doesn't like it, she can check with all those other relatives who think you should be watching the child for free. Maybe one of them will step up and offer free child care instead. )

[Unregistered]

Logged out for privacy... I'm having some issues with a family who also happen be related to me. I'm relatively new in this business and have never had to confront a family about so many issues. I had to talk to the dcf that I'm related to today about another policy they broke and I had so much anxiety about it I could barely get my words out. Now it's an hour later and I'm still shaking! I hate this part of the job! I realize I've been lucky with having relatively easy families until this one. If I have this much problem talking to my own family members, do I have any chance in making it in this business?? I'm just rethinking this whole thing because of them. I consider myself awesome with the children, but I can't stand enforcing policies. Any tips to get over this anxiety and make it easier to just talk to parents when I need to?

1. Family you have to see again, strangers you don't. It's usually easier to confront someone you don't care about. (even if you like the kid)
2. Family and friends are (generally) the worst ones to work with because they will take the most advantage.
"Oh, but we're friends, right?"
"Oh but I'm your cousin...you know I don't make anything"
and the list goes on

I would just say no more working with family and friends.
If you must, use a contract you would use with ANYONE else. When they break it, then have it with you when you get ready to confront, with pages you need referenced highlighted.
You can send a note home too(our kids' teachers do this regularly) It would say "Dear Parents" so that way it doesn't look like you're single-ing anyone out.

It's not easy, but the first rule of thumb is to not let yourself be nervous and allow yourself to be a door mat.

Your daycare isn't a charity case. You do it to profit, and either these parents respect that, or they don't. If they don't, there is the door.