Having Your Own Child In Care

[lvt77]

I have a 3 yr old son and have 5 kids in care every day. Going on second year doing daycare/preschool in my home.
My son has a really hard time with having to share everything in his life. space, mommy, toys, and etc. He does not seem to mind mommy helping other kids so much but has a hard time making the transistion from daycare time and non daycare time...I try to keep the same schedule and rules, but its still hard.
My teacher said to make an area in the house where I can still see him and allow him his own toys that he does not have to share with others as well as time to play alone....it works sometime....I teach a preschool program and the hardest part is getting him to join us.....

any ideas? or suggestions??

[ninosqueridos]

My 3yo DS goes through spurts of joining the group for our short activity time in the morning and not joining. Sometimes he'll stand a few feet away and say, "I'll watch my friends from here, Mom." I don't make a big deal of it and don't force him beyond a little encouragement. If he is not willing to join, then so be it. He didn't choose to have a daycare in his home. I find the less I make a big deal of him joining us, the more he is interested in joining. I allow him one TV show in the morning (in a separate room where I can see him) so that helps sometimes. Good luck!

[Unregistered]

My son is 2.5 yrs and also has some issues with sharing "his" toys. I allow him to put away for the day anything he is unable to share (usually his many trains). He is pretty good about that and it makes it easier since he will not let the other children use his favorites anyway. Sometimes when the first family rings the doorbell he is running with his toys, saying "put it away, mama!".

[Crystal]

My children are grown now, but they grew up in my daycare. They always have had their own room, and their personal belongings stay in their rooms, where they are welcome to retreat to any time they do not want to particpate with the group. Your child deserves to keep his belongings to himself. He should not have to share his toys, his room/space with the group at all.

My youngest son went to preschool outside of my program when he was three and four. I felt he needed to have time away from me and from having to share me with the group. He thrived in preschool and appreciated me more when he got home every day....it gave him time to miss me and to realize that even though I had another group of kids every day, I was still HIS Mommy.

[lvt77]

this is a plan for him to go to preschool out of my home next year....
here is what we do now...
I ask him to join us and if he does not want to I respect that....i give him options of things he can do as not to distract the kids from learning..... I dont want him down the hall alone in his room cuz i cant see him and watch what he is doing, so he is the only one allowed in the living room area....problem is that the other dcp dont agree with me.... they think he has to share everything.... Which I know a lot of people dont agree with me, but I dont make kids share. I will encourage it, but if they don't want to share something then I respect that and then put a time limit on that object.
I explain to parents this...how would you feel if you were reading a magazine and I walked in the room and demanded you to share it with me or give it to me becasue I wanted it....well you would probably not give it to me and consider me rude....So why cant we teach the kids to say, may I use this when you are done???
I think he does well, I just wish I could get him to participate more in the lessons and class time..
All of the other kids are learning to write their names and read and he is always yelling aT me to go outside and play or I want to watch my show or I want you to something else with me besides school??????????
this is where I struggle

[Greenshadow]

My son turned 3 last August. He participates in the daycare all day, by his own choice. There are some times when he will retreat upstairs to play trains in his room but for the most part, he stays downstairs with me. When my husband has errands to run, etc he will ask him if he wants to go. Sometimes he says he wants to stay home and play. Sometimes he goes. Its really up to him. He always does crafts. There really isnt much he misses throughout the day. He stays with me. I hope to put him in preschool next year when he turns 4 for a few hours a day.

[Missani]

I have 2 sons in daycare with me. Before I go on, it might be important to note that I started doing this in August and my kids went to daycare at a center where they were just part of the group before I had them at home with me. My daycare is in the basement (their bedrooms are on the main floor), and I purchased "new" toys or used toys they had grown out of to furnish the daycare. So, the toys down there are not "their" toys. Their toys are in their rooms or in the upstairs family room. I do not make them share their toys as long as they are put away upstairs, but I do expect them to share anything they bring into the daycare area.

I also expect them to participate daily in daycare activities, and I do not allow them to do something outside of the group. I do not allow them to play in their rooms because they are on a different level and I cannot supervise. I do not let them watch TV during the day because I feel that they get enough time to do so before daycare/in the evenings and don't feel they need more screen time. I also don't feel it is fair to the other kids. Now keep in mind, they are used to going to daycare and not having special exceptions, so they don't complain. Also, I went to a home daycare as a child and felt that the provider's children were always receiving special allowances and I remember resenting them for that.

With that said, I do sometimes have trouble with my 4 year old. He bucks the classroom rules every time someone is in the room (the other parents, visitors, etc.). He also fights me on everything (i.e. yelling, "It is NOT time to pick up" or "I don't WANT to write my name.") I don't really know what to do about that. I don't think giving him special time will help, and I think it will probably make it worse. When he was at the center/preschool, his teachers always told me how wonderful he was, how smart he was, how they wished the whole class was like him, etc. Now he is a bit of a terror. I suspect it is difficult for him to learn from me, but I also feel like I want to be the one to teach him. Isn't that why I made this career move? I feel bad putting him in preschool next year, but I may have to. I also feel bad because I have another DCK his age, and I feel like I would be leaving that kid with no one to play with or work with in preschool.

I'm not quite sure what to do yet, but I just wanted to let you know that I have a similar problem and understand what you are saying. I think that has been one of the toughest things about the job for me. I do this to be with my kids and I think one kid doesn't want to be with me. It is a challenge. (And I'm pretty sure the other parents think he is a little hellion, and I don't blame them based on the way he acts when they are there. )

[lvt77]

i know that the parents all think my little guy is a little hellion too, but this is what I tell them... Children will always act differently for others, but for mom and dad they will misbeave because of the unconditional love they provide....its funny that when the DCK smell their parents walk in the door its like a light swith turned on....they turn in to hellions too...hahha
Thanks for sharing with me.... I feel the same way you do...I want to teach him...However, he has never been at a center and I really want for him to be able to take direction from others as well as be without me before he hits kindergarten...... I try my hardest not to give into my son, but sometimes I do, as to pick and choose my battles with him.

[laundrymom]

My kids are older too but they were always allowed to go into their rooms, watch tv in my room, not eat what dc ate. Etc. I fed them after dc was napping. I shut the door to my room. If any parents had an issue they never voiced it. I figure at their homes their kids got to relax. My kids did too. They weren't enrolled in daycare, merely living in one. So I had no qualms about giving them special treatment. I'm their mommy not their childcare. They had naptimes of mommy snuggles. Early mornings, I never gave the parents the option of telling me how to run my program. I had one lady who came in at nap and see my 4 yr old eating ice-cream watching a movie on my computer and she opened her mouth, said why isn't she napping, I said " she's not AT daycare she's home with her mommy and no daycare kids see this" she said,... Oh yeah. And never questioned it further. I think they share so much of their lives with other kids. It's a treat to sneak around at nap and do special stuff.

[daysofelijah]

I have a 3 yo dd and she for the most part does things with the dc, but she always has the option of not doing things with them either. This is her home, not her daycare or "school". If she doesn't want to play with the dc kids she can go out in the living room and read books or play with toys without having to share them. She knows though that if she or any of her toys go into the playroom that she has to follow the dc rules and share.

Sometimes I let her watch a tv show in the living room if she is having a hard day with all the kids being here. If her older (homeschooled) brothers are downstairs (non daycare area) she can go down there and play with them or play in her room. She doesn't always have to take a nap so she can have a special snack or watch a movie during dc kids napping too sometimes.

If you make your child be a part of the dc all the time, they would be in daycare for like 55 hours a week (depending on how long you are open). Most of us frown on parents who leave there kids in our daycare that long, so I definitely wouldn't want my daughter to be stuck in dc that long, even if it is with me as her "teacher" in her own house.

[lvt77]

I also give him special attention when kids are napping, a moive or reading more books, we lay on his bed and talk about stuff. I also let him resort to the front room for solo play....
Did you incorporate this into your Parent Handbook?
Here is one of the other issues....becuase the room that my son plays in is in the front of the house (daycare in the back of the house, allthough you can see from one room to the next) this is the only way into the DC. So what happens is that he will be playing at the start of DC with his special stuff, then kids come in and they run right over to his speical stuff and demand to play. When the parents see that my son does not want to share them, the DCP will tell my son, be nice you have to share.... I some times tell the DCKs infront of the parents that these are his speical toys, you need to go to the DC room......I want to add something into my parent hand book that keeps this area off limits for my son, but with having to walk through it how do I do this?

[Cat Herder]

I kept it simple. Surprised?::

I never kept children the same age group as my kids.

I started with Junior High kids and worked my way slowly back to infants. It worked like a charm.

My first job, at 15 years old, was in a daycare as a playground assistant, so I learned it honestly from my experienced co-workers....

[lvt77]

SImple... is there such a thing ??
I think I like the idea that the one person pointed out that my child would be here over 55 hours a week and that is not fair... I think that if I point this out to the parents they wont have a problem with it, It just needs to be said.... I have some daycare parents that could find nothing to complain about...lmao Just love it