Advice for 5 Year Old

[lifesabeach]

I have a five year old in my care who will be starting kindergarten in the fall. I'm having trouble with getting her to help out/clean up after herself. I am constantly reminding her but she doesn't seem to be getting it. For example, after washing hands (which she usually argues with me on as she doesn't want to do it), instead of walking the paper towel the five feet to the garbage can, just leaves it lay on the counter. Everytime we eat, I have to remind her to take her dishes to the counter. When we are playing, she refuses to help pick up and will give me a list of excuses as to why she doesn't need to help. When it's time to go outside, I have to ask her multiple times to get her shoes on.

I have taken toys away when I've had to pick them up, I remind her of the kitchen manners each time (putting away plate & paper towel), I've kept us inside when it's taken too long to get shoes on. I really don't know what else to do. I know her parents don't let her get away with all of this at home so I'm not sure where it's coming from. So obviously she does these things at home, so I don't think I'm expecting too much for her age. She is the oldest one in my care and I know one of her "excuses" is that the younger ones aren't doing these things, but I am working with them and they are only age one and two (the two year old will do these things sometimes on her own and usually after a reminder) and I remind her that she can set a good example so they learn. I really am exhausted from the reminders and her arguing with me, any advice?

[laundrymom]

Take her out without her shoes and make her sit while everyone plays u til she gets them on. Give her extra chores when she doesn't do hers. Example. If a child
Here does t help clean up. I dump out the whole bucket and they do it themselves while the others do something else. Especially at five. She's playing you.

[hope]

You can make lists for her. Hang a list up with pictures (she can make this herself) to remind her what needs to be done. A clean up sign near the toys, a washing hands and garbage near the sink.

[Blackcat31]

I have a five year old in my care who will be starting kindergarten in the fall. I'm having trouble with getting her to help out/clean up after herself. I am constantly reminding her but she doesn't seem to be getting it. For example, after washing hands (which she usually argues with me on as she doesn't want to do it), instead of walking the paper towel the five feet to the garbage can, just leaves it lay on the counter. Everytime we eat, I have to remind her to take her dishes to the counter. When we are playing, she refuses to help pick up and will give me a list of excuses as to why she doesn't need to help. When it's time to go outside, I have to ask her multiple times to get her shoes on.

I have taken toys away when I've had to pick them up, I remind her of the kitchen manners each time (putting away plate & paper towel), I've kept us inside when it's taken too long to get shoes on. I really don't know what else to do. I know her parents don't let her get away with all of this at home so I'm not sure where it's coming from. So obviously she does these things at home, so I don't think I'm expecting too much for her age. She is the oldest one in my care and I know one of her "excuses" is that the younger ones aren't doing these things, but I am working with them and they are only age one and two (the two year old will do these things sometimes on her own and usually after a reminder) and I remind her that she can set a good example so they learn. I really am exhausted from the reminders and her arguing with me, any advice?

Do not allow her to move onto another activity until the first is completed.

If she leaves her paper towel on the counter instead of the garbage where it goes, I wouldn't let her move on to snack or any other activity until she tosses her paper towel in the garbage as expected

When she tells you she can't pick up after play or has an excuse....let her get out of doing it. Then move onto a fun activity with those kids that did help but don't allow her to participate. When she balks, tell her why. She is too tired to clean up so she is too tired to play. She is too sick to clean up, she is too sick to play. She doesn't want to pick up so therefore she doesn't play.

Turn it around on her and use her own words and actions to YOUR benefit instead of allowing her to use them to her advantage.

As for the shoes, I'd tell her once to get them on. If she fails to comply, I'd take her outside like previous poster said but I wouldn't allow her to go play once she gets them on.

At 5, she needs to put them on when you tell her too, not when she feels like it. I'd have her sit near you the whole time you are outside.

I can almost guarantee that she will stop this nonsense within 1-3 days if your consequences are swift and immediate and without negotiation.

I do not negotiate with terrorists... Uhmm, I mean children.

[spedmommy4]

Do not allow her to move onto another activity until the first is completed.

If she leaves her paper towel on the counter instead of the garbage where it goes, I wouldn't let her move on to snack or any other activity until she tosses her paper towel in the garbage as expected

When she tells you she can't pick up after play or has an excuse....let her get out of doing it. Then move onto a fun activity with those kids that did help but don't allow her to participate. When she balks, tell her why. She is too tired to clean up so she is too tired to play. She is too sick to clean up, she is too sick to play. She doesn't want to pick up so therefore she doesn't play.

Turn it around on her and use her own words and actions to YOUR benefit instead of allowing her to use them to her advantage.

As for the shoes, I'd tell her once to get them on. If she fails to comply, I'd take her outside like previous poster said but I wouldn't allow her to go play once she gets them on.

At 5, she needs to put them on when you tell her too, not when she feels like it. I'd have her sit near you the whole time you are outside.

I can almost guarantee that she will stop this nonsense within 1-3 days if your consequences are swift and immediate and without negotiation.

I do not negotiate with terrorists... Uhmm, I mean children.

BC is spot on. (And love the last line ) I will add, act like you don't care one way or the other. It's likely that this strategy works quite well with the other grown ups in her life.

[Luvnmykidz]

I also agree with all of the pp. I wanted to add that you should give her more time. By this mean, a few minutes before the group needs to clean up, her activity has ended and she must begin cleaning up. Do the same when it's time to get shoes on, end her activity before the others and explain that when she is able to follow directions the first time around then she can clean up or prepare for outside at the same time as everyone else.