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Today one of my DCM's I recently signed a contract with for part-time care raised her eyebrow and said "hmmm" when her 9 month old went to come to me today. As if she was trying to gage is the baby was going to happily go to me or cry. It just made me feel awful. Even thought about giving her the boot. I've had one other parent act this suspicious and no offense they are usually African American parents. By the way i'm AA. I don't get this from any another parents. What would you do? What should I do? TIA
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Last edited by Michael; 06-09-2015, 03:43 PM. -
Not sure what you mean by "AA parents"? -
I'm not sure I fully understand what you wrote, but I once had an interview for a nanny position, and the mom's test was whether or not her baby would come to you after meeting you, like a second before. I passed the test, but she was way out there, and I wound up quitting after a few days!Comment
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I don't know what you mean by AA....
But I would maybe mention casually to mom that you have noticed how nicely baby Susie is adjusting to care and that by coming willingly, it shows how comfortable she is. Or something like that. Put her at ease.Comment
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Oh...African American parents? I was stuck on Alcoholics Anonymous--couldn't figure out what that had to do with anything,
. Maybe she's seeing if baby is comfortable with you. And sadly, some parents are disappointed to see children come eagerly to us--they feel threatened. 
I'd rather my child be happy.
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I was thinking "attached adult" meaning. A helicopter parent.Comment
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OP, help us out here! LolComment
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okay, re-read - does she mean AA as a race or AP as a parenting style...hmmm...
I honestly would just do your professional best and reassure parents. You'll find ALL parents come with their own issues
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Yes AA meaning African American. Sorry took so long to reply.Comment
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I am not sure I understand what you mean but I think you mean that the parent watches to see if the child will come to you or cry as if to say "If she cries, there must be something wrong with you that she won't come or cries."
If that is it then I've had that happen too. I think it is just a parent feeling a little scared to leave her baby with a stranger. That I can understand. I think it must be very hard.
If the baby doesn't come to me or cries I just matter of factly say "Oh some children take longer to warm up to a new person or situation than others. We'll just be patient and she'll feel comfortable soon enough. Try not to worry." Big smile.
If you act like it is a bad thing then they'll pick up on that.
LaurelComment
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I think you're right. Its just that I have my own child and would never dream of hurting her let alone anyone else's child. It just caught me off guard since the child had been her for 5 straight days. It just made me feel bad and you're right, it shouldn't have.Comment
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Well, most of the time (especially with the children I've had since babies both 4m and are now 13m and 14m) they are super excited when I opne the door and they "launch" themselves at me from their parents arms. Then in the afternoon they both go willingly to their parents, hug them, etc, and then scream and cry and hold out their arms for me. It makes me happy that they love me but I also feel terrible that they do that to their parents but one is here 10.5 hrs/day x 5 days and the other is here 9 hrs/day x 5 days. That's a lot of their time every single day, day in and day out.
On the other hand I've also had children cry at drop off that have been here for months or even years and then one day they cry and scream and cling to their parents, and then I feel terrible and start worrying that the parents are going to think terrible thoughts.....for the most part I have found that the crying is initiated by something the parent did to them or took away from them directly before coming in, also being sick has brought on the drop off sobbing.
Really, you can take childrens cries with a grain of salt sometimes there is no rhyme or reason, they might just feel like crying....
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Yes I know my own daughter cries when she is being left with even my sister, but as soon as i'm out the door she stops crying/goes back to being normal. I just hope the dcm sees this. It just made me feel crappy that she is gauging interactions at drop off, the girl just started coming here. I will tell you that its been a month in a half and the baby does jump into my arms at some drop off.'s.Well, most of the time (especially with the children I've had since babies both 4m and are now 13m and 14m) they are super excited when I opne the door and they "launch" themselves at me from their parents arms. Then in the afternoon they both go willingly to their parents, hug them, etc, and then scream and cry and hold out their arms for me. It makes me happy that they love me but I also feel terrible that they do that to their parents but one is here 10.5 hrs/day x 5 days and the other is here 9 hrs/day x 5 days. That's a lot of their time every single day, day in and day out.
On the other hand I've also had children cry at drop off that have been here for months or even years and then one day they cry and scream and cling to their parents, and then I feel terrible and start worrying that the parents are going to think terrible thoughts.....for the most part I have found that the crying is initiated by something the parent did to them or took away from them directly before coming in, also being sick has brought on the drop off sobbing.
Really, you can take childrens cries with a grain of salt sometimes there is no rhyme or reason, they might just feel like crying....Comment
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