Potty Learning Nightmare - Help

[TXhomedaycare]

I have a 23 month old dcb that I have been trying to potty train for 4 months and he has only successfully used the restroom 4 times :confused:. His parents asked if I could help a few months ago because they said he seemed ready and interested. They wanted to use pull ups and I told them I recommend underwear but they declined. I recently did a toilet learning class and after taking the is your child ready for dcb I found out that he was not ready when we started and so this process is taking longer. I have been doing home childcare for a year so I had no clue it would be this hard potty training with mixed age groups 1 year old to 4 years old (my son learned when he was 2 in about 3 days using the naked and underwear method ). After little to no success I can tell dcb who used to be willing and happy to try and potty is now getting fustrated. His dad says he goes potty for him but also says it in a bragging way like he does what I say manner (but he always brings him in a diaper, not even a pull up). His mom seems confused and fustrated like I am and says they have little success at home also. I asked 2 weeks ago if we could try the underwear method and his mom agreed and now I regret it. Dcb still does not understand the concept of potting and everytime I ask if he needs to go he says yes. I have 6 full time boys and I am running to the potty every time I turn around. 5 minutes after we try and potty he uses the restroom on himself and says I gotta go potty I am tried of cleaning up pee and now I know why a lot of providers do not potty train. I think we should stop and try later or ask the parents to let me know once he has done well at home for 2 weeks but no longer potty train here. Suggestions please :confused:

[Controlled Chaos]

I would completely stop. Diapers only. Pretend the whole potty training attempt never happened for at least a few months. Poor dcb is frustrated he is being asked to do something he isn't physically capable of yet.

I sit all dcks 18m old and older on the potty every time I change their diaper, there is no expectation of going, we only do it when I change them every two hours. Then when they start going in the potty when they are placed on it, or when they start telling me they have to go THEN I talk with parents about the child ALMOST being ready for potty training. It is a gradual and natural process this way. I am following childs cues other than introducing them to the concept of a potty (like handing a baby a spoon while you feed them )

I would wait 2-3 months before sitting your dcb on the potty again unless he initiates. Then I would only sit him on it at diaper changing times until he shows more signs of readiness.

Good luck with the parents :hug:

[MyAngels]

It sounds like he's not ready. Just go back to diapers for now and try again later. If the parents want to push it, just tell them they can do what they want at home, but you will not be training at your place until you feel he is developmentally ready, and accident free for a full two weeks (or whatever time period you want to set) at home.

[kendallina]

He's not ready. Take a break, back to diapers. Just showing interest doesn't mean that they're ready. They are interested in everything, so being interested in the potty doesn't have significant meaning on its own. Maybe give it a try in a few months. Also, this should be more of a parents job (like, on a long weekend when he actually is ready), not your job.

I'm sure more people will pipe up here, I only work with 3-5 yr olds, but those are my opinions.

[Leigh]

I'm with the others. Definitely not ready. You're not going to force him to potty train. Just stop. Start again when he is interested, can tell you that he needs to go, can stay dry for a few hours, seems deliberate when he goes (he'll stop to pee, he'll find a place to squat to poop)...you might as well go bang your head on the wall as try to train this one now.

[Josiegirl]

Ditto ditto ditto! It's just going to keep frustrating everybody. Especially dcb and it might prolong the whole learning process and create bathroom issues.

[Heidi]

Ditto here...not ready!

I learned this lesson with my oldest child (now 25). I tried at 20 months, again at 2 1/2, and both times were many, many accidents and almost no successes.

Shortly before his 3rd birthday, we bought Thomas the Tank Engine underwear (his choice), and they sat there for a week. As we ran out of diapers, we had a talk (he's almost 3 now). G-you are really too old for diapers, and we are almost out, so when we run out, that's it, it's time for you to wear underwear. That means, you need to use the potty instead of the diapers. Ok?

He said "oh, ok".

A couple days later, I said, "Well, we used up the diapers, so here are your underwear"

I think he had ONE accident, maybe two. He was ready, and it was easy.

For nights and naps, I used "Paper underwear" (pullups) for a little while, but he actually never went in them, so we didn't buy more. He did occasionally have night time accidents for a while, but it was really random, which is a bit inconvenient and pretty much ruined his mattress, because you can't really ever get them clean.