Your Own

[Movingforward]

My son isn't happy in my FCC. He's made leaps and bounds adjusting to the other children and sharing his mommy since I've started (since Jan) but he is still not at the point where he is enjoying his time here. He is a feisty kid to start with but now he often gets into a state of anger and frustration where he yells angrily. That makes the other children scared or frustrated. I don't want to see them like this. So I've contemplated enrolling him in another child care
Has anyone here kept their child in your own program and how did you help them transition?

[Play Care]

I admit that my own kids - especially my oldest, were the hardest kids I've ever had in dc

I remember my oldest being 3 and it was a very tough year

Some things I did to help them - their toys and bedrooms were always off limits. We are fortunate to have a finished basement playroom also so that's where the majority of their toys went. I made sure to have one on one moments with them (nap time was their time, and I wish I would have spent less time cleaning and whatever and more time cuddling with them during it, they're in school before you know it and that time is gone) I also enrolled them in a preschool program at 4 (three days a week for three hours, not all day) which was so beneficial for them.

In terms of discipline, I would not let them get away with poor choices and behavior because I felt bad they had to "share" mom. I'll admit sometimes I was easier on my kids because I felt bad
Huge mistake
Unless you can be a SAHM, they'd be sharing you no matter what - either sharing you with other kids, or sharing you with your other job while they were at DC all day at some point, we have to let go of mommy guilt and do the best we can.
Good Luck!

[MarinaVanessa]

It will get better. My daughter had to share mom when I started doing daycare when she was 4 and she acted much the same. She didn't like it and said she hated daycare and the other kids but that was just her adjusting to the change.

Overall it took her quite a while to get used to it and accept it (about a year) and then another year to finally actually enjoy it. She benefited so much and daycare has taught her to socialize, share and to be a good friend.

I'd spent special time designated for just her and I during naptime where we could spend quality time and we had special mom/daughter time on evenings and weekends when I had no daycare kids. Once she got to be a little older like around 7 years old I would allow her to play in her own room by herself if she ever wanted that alone time. I also didn't make her share her own toys. I bought toys that were separate from my children's toys that were specifically for daycare. These were MY TOYS. My daughter didn't have to share hers but she couldn't bring hers out in that case, she had to play with them in her own room. She also couldn't invite one child into her room. It was everybody or nobody. When it came to my toys she had to share no matter what because (as I explained to her) they were mine and I was sharing them with everyone.

I also treated her more like a helper until she became bossy and tried to tell the other kids what to do. She would try to control the activities and any play that went on. I had to step in and reiterate that she was MY helper and that made me THE BOSS, not her. She was only to take charge of assignments that I gave her and she could always choose from going back and forth from being my helper to being a daycare kid if she wasn't interested in the task I was offering her (cutting/pasting in preparation for an activity, gathering materials, washing a table, reorganizing books, reading a story, switching toys out etc.

I also never treated her any different that the daycare kids when it came to rules and routines. The only time that she got special treatment was her getting more hugs and kisses. I was careful to make sure that she always got more hugs and kisses than anyone else.

She's all good now and enjoys daycare and she's 10. I also now have a 4yo and a 22mo that were born into daycare and they don't know anything different.

At times I did feel like putting my daughter in a different daycare and I did so for a short while once she started elementary school. She went to another daycare (a friend of mine) after schools for about 2 hours a day and she enjoyed that for a while but eventually she just wanted to come straight home. Apparently they didn't do as much as we did at my daycare as far as activities went so she wanted to come back since she enjoyed them.

[mommiebookworm]

With my daughter, I chose to send her to a pre-k program Part-time. She went from 12-3:45 four days a week.
It was good for her. She got to make other friends, have other teachers, and take a break from the daycare.
I also got separate toys, her toys are in her room. And all our bedrooms are off limits. But, she can chose to play by herself in her room.

[Unregistered]

My son was similar to the way you describe your son. I wake him up in the morning and we cuddle and get ready together and talk about who is coming that day. Having my kids room off limits really helps and "special" toys he doesnt want to share go in his room. I seriously thought about putting him in another program but the reason i am a home daycare is to be home with my kids. Now he is doing a lot better , he still has some issues around 4pm (being wild ) i think because he is done for the day. I have thought about changing my close time to 4 pm... we will see

[Movingforward]

Thank you all for shedding light on your experience with your own in dc! :hug: He does have his own toys separate from the dc toys but his room is on another level of the house so he doesn't get to play with his toys or go to his room until I get off work. I'm glad I'm not the only one having this experience

[Janiam]

Both of my kids , now 19 and 16, grew up in my daycare. There were some tough times to be sure. Both kids went to pre-k 3 days a week and had a Nana day. I had days that I seriously thought about closing but the good really did outweigh the bad . It got easier. Some kids they stayed friends with and some not so much. I was most surprised by how much more I enjoyed doing daycare once they started school. I loved being home with them but it is a very tough act to have your kids at work with you 10 hours a day!