Conflicted / I Feel Bad

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I have a single DCD of 2 kids. He's new with me, I've only had him 2 weeks. Anyways, he's been gone all week. He just never showed up tuesday(after the holiday Monday) and I finally texted him asking where he was. DCK #1 was sick. Ok fine, but you should have let me know. Never showed up Wednesday. I finally texted him.. DCK still sick. Fine but you should have let me know! Never showed up today. I just wrote him off basically, assuming he was never coming back. He finally texted me at 2 today (SEVEN hours after his scheduled arrival) and let me know he was fired. Well I'm ticked, BUT I feel so bad! His boss fired a single dad because he needed two days to care for a sick kid?!!

Anyways, to the issue: my heart feels like I should hold his spot but I don't know if I should. I'm sure he can't afford to pay for the spot. But he just got fired and his life already ****s, so I feel awful telling him I'm giving the spot away. He didn't pay for this week.. Since he never came on Tuesday, which is when he should have paid. So he already got a a free week. I really can't give another one, especially since he has two kids! Grrrr I don't know what to do

This is where business owner vs. caring provider collide

[Unregistered]

Whoops

Whoooooops my phone apparently decided to post this thread three times!!

[laundrymom]

Take off your loving hat. Put on the one that writes out monthly bill checks

Got it on?
Ok. This is going to sound harsh....

But we can't help everyone. It creates stress and conflict and burnout.

So you feel bad that he can't pay his fees even though he agreed to? And you feel bad that your obligations might be late?
Or
You feel bad that he is in a bad place? Because while you can empathize with his situation (or sympathize, I never can remember) but he's still an adult and responsible for his actions.

Have you asked him what he would like to do?
Just be honest w him
"Jordan, do you want to keep paying for your spot while job searching? Or do you want me to count this week in your notice period so your fee due is $xx.
No hard feelings either way. I know it's a tough spot to be in. "

[Blackcat31]

Take off your loving hat. Put on the one that writes out monthly bill checks

Got it on?
Ok. This is going to sound harsh....

But we can't help everyone. It creates stress and conflict and burnout.

So you feel bad that he can't pay his fees even though he agreed to? And you feel bad that your obligations might be late?
Or
You feel bad that he is in a bad place? Because while you can empathize with his situation (or sympathize, I never can remember) but he's still an adult and responsible for his actions.

Have you asked him what he would like to do?
Just be honest w him
"Jordan, do you want to keep paying for your spot while job searching? Or do you want me to count this week in your notice period so your fee due is $xx.
No hard feelings either way. I know it's a tough spot to be in. "

When you say yes to others make sure it isn't saying no to yourself.

Also, one of the best pieces of advice that I could give to another provider is it's okay to feel bad but feeling isn't an action so feeling bad is okay.

You can even tell the DCD that you feel bad but acting on it, isn't helping you or the DCD. He IS a single parent. He is going to have to figure out how to navigate parenting just like anyone else has to in their situations.

I RARELY act on my feelings but it doesn't mean I am cold hearted.... I just think with my head first and not my heart. Most providers think with their heart first thus the unique issues we face.

[cheerfuldom]

Replace your kids and pay your bills.

You dont know for sure why Dad was fired anyway, not that it matters.

[AmyKidsCo]

ITA with the previous posters.

HOWEVER, that doesn't mean that if he finds a job and wants to come back before you fill the spot you can't decide to take him back. (The lack of communication would be an issue for me, but that's me.)

I'd try to fill the spot and see what happens - maybe he'll find a job before you find the right family. Or maybe you'll find a dream family and he'll find a caregiver that doesn't mind no-show no-calls and can be as flexible as he needs.

[finsup]

Stick to being professional. I so get wanting to help, I did that with my first family and let me tell yo that is a sure fire way to get burnt out in this line of work quickly. But I really do like to help, so in situations outside of childcare I will. I do a lot of volunteer work for my Church and help people through them but never mix it with business. Keep the two separate, it makes things so much easier!