Preschoolers in Diapers. . .

Day care dad

I don't know.......20 years ago I never heard of a child over three that wasn't trained-ever. 15 to 20 years ago All my child care kids trained easily around age 2 1/2.

Pull ups seem to have caused a more drawn out process. Also, When children wore cloth diapers training was also easier because children felt uncomfortable. Parents were more motivated to get their child out of diapers before disposables came on the seen too.

We are a wealthy country. In third world countries with few resources-especially water for cleaning cloth diapers, children are trained much earlier without problems.

The trend has shifted, parents are busier and busier, we have pull ups...all of a sudden in the last ten years kids are just not developmentally ready, where before that they easily trained sometime during the second year.

I think it's a trend, not that kids aren't ready earlier. Kids run the show in lots of households. I see lots of parents afraid to parent.

I know in some instances it's medical. That's a different story.

[Jujube835]

I don't see how changing a poopy pull up is any better/different than changing a poopy diaper...

I'm not changing a poopy anything. The pull-ups are for an extra layer of security, just incase they have an accident. The kids sit on the potty every hour and if they show any signs of needing a potty in between those hourly visits then they sit on the potty then as well. I reeeeeally do not believe that a child older than 2 needs a diaper. In my experience with my own kids, my experience in the center I worked at, and with the daycare kids I have now, I've never met a child that can't be potty trained by their 3rd birthday IF the parent is willing to put in the work.

[Febby]

In one of my trainings a while back, our trainer told us that part of the reason children are potty training later is because they're not getting as many chances to develop motor skills as they used to. Infants are spending more time in restrictive equipment (swings, bouncy seats, etc.) and less time on the floor. Additionally, a lot of children (including some infants!) get more screen time than they used to. And all of that, according to this trainer, delays motor development which delays potty training.

I haven't actually been able to find the research she kept referring to though... (Not that I really need a reason to not have a bunch of screen time)

My understanding/experience with encopresis is that it's when a child is withholding BMs, leading to constipation and massive blockage, and eventually small amounts of fecal matter leak out into the child's underwear/pull-up. It hurts to go, so the child resists going,and it just creates a vicious cycle. Eventually the bowel muscles get very loose, so the child can't really hold it in, and loses the sensation of feeling like he/she has to go the bathroom. From speaking with our pediatrician and gastroenterologist, it's somewhat of a behavioral issue at first, but then turns into more of a physical condition due to the chronic constipation. Sometimes big changes in a child's life can play a role, in my sons case, my husband was diagnosed with a terminal neurological condition and had to move to a nursing home when our son was 3, so not sure if that could have played a role (a control struggle), one doctor believes it did, but I'm not really sure. Eventually the doctor had us do a cleanse with laxatives (at home, and of course I kept him home from daycare for a few days) when an X-ray revealed he was incredibly blocked up. We then had to give him miralax daily (still do per our pediatrician's instructions), and after being on miralax a little over a month, the "accidents/leakage" went away. But I still have to remind him to sit on the potty daily and try to go, he's been doing great and with his daycares permission we stopped pull-ups and went to underwear when he'd been accident free a couple weeks. It's been 6 months now, so it's hopefully behind us!

Interestingly enough, I stumbled onto this site when my son was diagnosed with encopresis and I was googling it to learn more about it! I pop on ever so often and like around, it's been helpful to see situations from daycare providers' points of view, my son goes to a center as I don't have anyone to provide backup care, so a home daycare wouldn't be a good fit for us.

[NightOwl]

Daycare parent here- just wanted to throw my experience out there! My son did not fully potty train until he was almost 5, he was diagnosed with encopresis right after his fourth bday. We started potty training around age 2.5 years, and he mastered peeing on the potty almost immediately, but getting BMs on the potty was a long, frustrating process. We switched daycares when he was 3.5 and thankfully his new daycare accepted him in pull-ups (he did tend to have most of his accidents at home). His daycare teachers were not familiar with encopresis (neither was I until my son was diagnosed with it), so I just wanted to put it out there as it could be a reason some preschoolers are not fully potty trained.

I'm not familiar with this. Could you elaborate?

I have never had a normally developing child to go past 4 and not be potty trained. I have seen children go up to 5 and 6 if they also had other areas of delay.

I agree some children yank their parents' chains. My own nephew came to me at almost 4 and still wearing pull ups, which he readily used at home every day. I told him the very first day, after I got that pull up off and put undies on him, that HE would be cleaning up any "accidents" he had here. He said EWWWWW!! You know how many accidents he had here? ZERO. At home? Daily accidents. My sister is a slacker and tends to do whatever requires the least amount of effort, and I knew this was why he still wore pull ups.

I don't allow pull ups here at all for potty training. They're diapers, plain and simple. We go straight to underwear or those super thick, absorbent underwear, but no pull ups.

[daycare]

Daycare parent here- just wanted to throw my experience out there! My son did not fully potty train until he was almost 5, he was diagnosed with encopresis right after his fourth bday. We started potty training around age 2.5 years, and he mastered peeing on the potty almost immediately, but getting BMs on the potty was a long, frustrating process. We switched daycares when he was 3.5 and thankfully his new daycare accepted him in pull-ups (he did tend to have most of his accidents at home). His daycare teachers were not familiar with encopresis (neither was I until my son was diagnosed with it), so I just wanted to put it out there as it could be a reason some preschoolers are not fully potty trained.

obviously, if there is a medical condition, then I would see no reason in not taking the child on. The child can't help it.

Daycare parent here- just wanted to throw my experience out there! My son did not fully potty train until he was almost 5, he was diagnosed with encopresis right after his fourth bday. We started potty training around age 2.5 years, and he mastered peeing on the potty almost immediately, but getting BMs on the potty was a long, frustrating process. We switched daycares when he was 3.5 and thankfully his new daycare accepted him in pull-ups (he did tend to have most of his accidents at home). His daycare teachers were not familiar with encopresis (neither was I until my son was diagnosed with it), so I just wanted to put it out there as it could be a reason some preschoolers are not fully potty trained.

[daycare]

I agree with this 100%...but i do have to say this....i think a lot of kids these days really know how to manipulate their parents from a very young age, so they tend to normally run the show.

I have a just turned 3 year old dcg that tell her parents which direction to park her car each day and which direction to leave from my front door so the dcg can stand and wave to dcm as she leaves. she tells her parents what to do non-stop and the parents do it because they don't want to listen to her cry.

I also just posted about a 4 yr old who the parents said he is too young to take a hearing test, because he just didn't want to have to listen to the doctor...LOL. yup true story.

I agree that it has to be when the child is ready, but i do think that many parents are missing the window of opportunity to train and instead they create a harder habit to break.

my dcp that have routines and schedules for their kids and are the ones in charge have the kids that potty train before age 3

the ones that the children run the show, I see those kids in diapers sometimes until almost 5.

[Blackcat31]

I will not change a 3 year old's diaper. The day they turn 3 it's pull-ups and sitting on the potty here. I'm a pretty new provider but this is working for me so far. I have two kids aged 2.5 that are almost fully potty trained because changing them made me gag.

I don't mind putting in the initial potty training effort because I'd rather do the work than put diapers on a giant

Pushing toilet training before a child is developmentally ready makes the process twice as long and twice as difficult. It also opens up the issue of regression and more accidents than those kids who were trained AFTER they show signs of readiness.

If you wait to train a child until they show signs of readiness, the process should really only take a couple days max. and the rate of regression and/or accidents is almost none.

Also, like Controlled Chaos mentioned, how is changing a 3 yr olds pull up any better than changing a diaper?

[Controlled Chaos]

I will not change a 3 year old's diaper. The day they turn 3 it's pull-ups and sitting on the potty here. I'm a pretty new provider but this is working for me so far. I have two kids aged 2.5 that are almost fully potty trained because changing them made me gag.

I don't mind putting in the initial potty training effort because I'd rather do the work than put diapers on a giant

I don't see how changing a poopy pull up is any better/different than changing a poopy diaper...

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8_...ew?usp=sharing

Thank you!

[Blackcat31]

BC what skills do you require?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8_3z0c2eVI8NGp1dENYMVRObWM/view?usp=sharing

[Jujube835]

I will not change a 3 year old's diaper. The day they turn 3 it's pull-ups and sitting on the potty here. I'm a pretty new provider but this is working for me so far. I have two kids aged 2.5 that are almost fully potty trained because changing them made me gag.

I don't mind putting in the initial potty training effort because I'd rather do the work than put diapers on a giant

My dd was trained before age 3. Most of my dck seem to be 4 when they are fully trained.

BC what skills do you require?

[Play Care]

I agree with BC in that I think different kids are developmentally ready a little bit later, and that current parenting trends of potty training at later ages (3, 4) are more on-par with what kids really need.

THAT BEING SAID... I would not enroll a child over 3 years old who wasn't fully potty trained.

I've had 9 kids go through potty training here in the last 2 years. The earliest was completely independent just before 2.5 years old. I had two more potty train at 2.5 years, and the other 6 all potty trained RIGHT before 3 years old. Some of the young 3 year olds are still working on it but are basically there.

Every provider should be aware of what she/he will and will not do in the job. I will not be changing the diaper of a 3+ year old who is not almost potty trained. It's not for me.

This is my policy as well. I had a very odd situation years ago with an untrained 3 1/2 yo. I said never again. If they are not ready to train, fine. But I'm not the provider for them.