Please Discuss Other Issues with Non Bottle Taking Baby

[crazydaycarelady]

I have had this family for 4+ years. This is their 3rd child they have had ith me since infancy and they have been a pretty good family up to this point. I am not sure what has happened though.

~ First off dcm is acting like a first time mom with this last baby. She was all nervous-nelly today at drop-off because the kids were surrounding the baby looking at her. I had her on the floor with a jungle gym over her as a barrier. Like I said this is the 3rd baby. None of her kids got hurt here. I have told her repeatledly that the kids know how to act near a baby.

~ The non-bottle taking issue and the comment that "she'll get used to it."

~ And lastly she picked up her older child at preschool yesterday because he was sick yet she brought him into my house at pick-up! When I questioned her she said "well, I told him not to touch anything!"

This dcm is a nurse. Has she just got mush-brain now that she is a mom of 3 or what? I have never had a problem with her but over the last week I have come to not even like her anymore.

[Thriftylady]

Sounds to me like something you don't know is going on. Are her and hubby having issues? Is she having some other family issues? I might be inclined to ask her straight up if something is wrong lately.

[Baby Beluga]

Maybe postpartum depression?

[crazydaycarelady]

Last week was her first week back to work. I know she was NOT looking forward to it. She also said her hubby has not caught on yet to multi-tasking with 3 kids. Maybe she is just frustrated.

STILL, she brought the older kids to preschool or here every single day of her maternity leave except one. She had time to bottle train the baby!

[hope]

Is the mom older? Is this going to be her last baby? I have seen moms act this way with their baby to capture the moments of their last baby. Moms who have transitioned through milestones great with their older children hold onto every baby stage and over do the new mom thing to hold onto the feeling.

[Blackcat31]

Is the mom older? Is this going to be her last baby? I have seen moms act this way with their baby to capture the moments of their last baby. Moms who have transitioned through milestones great with their older children hold onto every baby stage and over do the new mom thing to hold onto the feeling.

...along the same lines, I've seen moms of Baby #3 or more, become lazier (She'll get used to it) because the older ones transitioned easier.

Also the comments/behaviors with the older children near the baby could be faux concern (since she is lacking concern in other areas..) or she is now aware of the dangers of older kids because she now has them whereas before her other kids didn't have older kids hanging on them at home...kwim?

Bringing in the sick child to care and nonchalantly replying that she told him not to touch anything leads me to believe she may simply have gotten lazy and wants to do the fun baby stuff (snuggle and play) but not the REAL work it takes (bottle trained/teaching older kids to stay off/away from baby).

I know she had all of her maternity leave to train the baby but IME, most nursing moms have zero luck in bottle training their babies because they nurse so baby only sees mom as providing food through nursing. Many nursing moms have better luck having another family member nipple train the baby instead of doing it themselves. That part may not have anything to do with laziness.

[KiddieCahoots]

Is the mom older? Is this going to be her last baby? I have seen moms act this way with their baby to capture the moments of their last baby. Moms who have transitioned through milestones great with their older children hold onto every baby stage and over do the new mom thing to hold onto the feeling.

This is what I'm thinking.

I have a similar situation with a mom of three. You'd think......third time is a charm.....right!? In my case too, apparently not if it's the last anticipated baby, baby is on the strong willed side, older siblings cater to the baby in a negative way, adding more work for mom to get baby accustomed to self soothing for wants instead of needs, all awhile mom is having trouble with the multi tasking of three.

[KiddieCahoots]

Is the mom older? Is this going to be her last baby? I have seen moms act this way with their baby to capture the moments of their last baby. Moms who have transitioned through milestones great with their older children hold onto every baby stage and over do the new mom thing to hold onto the feeling.

This is what I'm thinking.

I have a similar situation with a mom of three. You'd think......third time is a charm.....right!? In my case too, apparently not if it's the last anticipated baby, baby is on the strong willed side, older siblings cater to the baby in a negative way, adding more work for mom to get baby accustomed to self soothing for wants instead of needs, all awhile mom is having trouble with the multi tasking of three.

[crazydaycarelady]

Many nursing moms have better luck having another family member nipple train the baby instead of doing it themselves. That part may not have anything to do with laziness.

I guess I expected her to let the dad or grandparents give the baby a bottle. We DID discuss it a couple of months before the baby started. I think she is enjoying being the only one who can soothe the baby, even if that means baby is a fuss here ALL day!

[Controlled Chaos]

I know some parents are lazy about it, but my middle child (ds) wouldn't take bottle until 10 months old. We tried every bottle. We tried formula, BM, water, juice. We tried my husband giving it, grandparents, me... I tried leaving him a few times for up to 6 hours and he would just scream the whole time. It was awful! So I have a lot of sympathy for babies who dont love the bottle. It doesn't make your life an easier I know

I hope the parents are working on it at home. I like the idea of seeing baby drink from a bottle before the first day. That protects everyone from a horrible first day.

[MarinaVanessa]

She could be lazy about it or she could know that this is her last baby? I know I have 3 kids and my youngest is going to be 2 in July. My husband and I made the decision that this would be our last baby ... well okay, I'll be honest ... I DECIDED this was going to be our last baby and he just has no choice but to be on board . In any case I should be used that lazy parent that nothing gets to. It's not my first rodeo.

BUT I KNOW it's my last baby. I'll never hold my own infant again after this one so I want to relish in the moments. I coddle him and he's a momma's boy and I don't mind it one bit. I should know better about things like holding him too much and letting him sleep with me but I do it anyway. BUT I'm the one watching him all day.

So she can either be lazy parenting or she could be feeling that this is her last baby and she's missing his infancy ... :confused:

[mduck]

I can agree with blackcat (I think that's who said it) that I hold onto moments with my last baby well since she is going to be my last. See I called her baby and she is going to be 2 in a few days. Sigh.

Also, she took the bottle better from me than from my mil when she babysat for us when dh and I took some time out alone. I guess because I nursed her, so I was the food person. : )

Not even sure how this ties into your post op, but it just popped into my mind.

[Unregistered]

I guess I expected her to let the dad or grandparents give the baby a bottle.

Do we even know if Dad is helping at all with the baby? Some Dads don't do the baby thing..they leave it up to the mom to do it all.