I Need Some Backbone

[crazydaycarelady]

I watch 4yo dcg four days per week but only 2 of those days is she here at naptime. She is a very active (possibly ADHD imho) buzzing bee of a girl. I keep her up on those two days and she does not nap if she is kept busy. I don't like this but have been doing it. I have a couple others that don't nap but they stay still and quiet.

Now mom needs to bring her 4 FULL days this summer. There is NO WAY I can do this 4 days per week. She'll drive me insane! She will fall asleep if she stays still. Her mom puts her to bed between 6:30-7:00 though. She is a single mom and I get it but, it's her sanity or mine!

There is no state rule that kids have to sleep here. I have given dcg naps and not said anything and the next day her mom says she didn't go to sleep until 10:00. Dcm will then be passive-aggressive (like me) and say to dcg "Now don't nap today." LOL

I think she needs a ore reasonable bedtime, like 8:30 or 9:00 but I am not the parent.

[laundrymom]

That poor girl. Why would she go to bed so early? That's selfish and ridiculous.

[Leigh]

That poor girl. Why would she go to bed so early? That's selfish and ridiculous.

Mom putting her to bed so early could be why she seems so hyper, too-it could be that she's not getting her emotional needs met at home and acts out at daycare because of it.

I think that I'd just be finding a replacement child. You're NEVER going to get a parent to choose your sanity over theirs, and you're not going to get them to change the way they parent. Any parent that told their child "don't take a nap" in front of me would have left with that same child and not been allowed back.

[Blackcat31]

Mom putting her to bed so early could be why she seems so hyper, too-it could be that she's not getting her emotional needs met at home and acts out at daycare because of it.

I think that I'd just be finding a replacement child. You're NEVER going to get a parent to choose your sanity over theirs, and you're not going to get them to change the way they parent. Any parent that told their child "don't take a nap" in front of me would have left with that same child and not been allowed back.

It's not likely you are going to change mom's methods.

I'd just start looking for a replacement.

[nannyde]

I watch 4yo dcg four days per week but only 2 of those days is she here at naptime. She is a very active (possibly ADHD imho) buzzing bee of a girl. I keep her up on those two days and she does not nap if she is kept busy. I don't like this but have been doing it. I have a couple others that don't nap but they stay still and quiet.

Now mom needs to bring her 4 FULL days this summer. There is NO WAY I can do this 4 days per week. She'll drive me insane! She will fall asleep if she stays still. Her mom puts her to bed between 6:30-7:00 though. She is a single mom and I get it but, it's her sanity or mine!

There is no state rule that kids have to sleep here. I have given dcg naps and not said anything and the next day her mom says she didn't go to sleep until 10:00. Dcm will then be passive-aggressive (like me) and say to dcg "Now don't nap today." LOL

I think she needs a ore reasonable bedtime, like 8:30 or 9:00 but I am not the parent.

What does single parenting have to do with such an early bedtime?

[Thriftylady]

What does single parenting have to do with such an early bedtime?

Only the fact that the "single parent card" (what I call it anyway) is in play. Seems that single parents think everything is soooooo much harder for them and it should just be easier. I don't buy that. I was a single parent for a bit, and the last few years being married to an over the road truck driver, I call myself "A married, single parent" due to I am the only one here 70 hours a week or more so I do most of it alone. But some single parents think that kiddo needs to go to bed early so they can rest or this or that and think that they should get discounts, because they don't have two incomes. I don't have daycare kids and I don't have an income, DH and I lived on $30,000 last year I know some single parents that made way more than that. I also know some who made about that and got all kinds of state aid that in my book, boosts income. I get so tired of single parents thinking that they somehow deserve or have earned something the rest of us haven't. I am a mom, you are a mom, they are a mom.... That's it we are all just moms.

[crazydaycarelady]

Yes, that is just it, the single card is being played.

I agree with Thrifty though. I used to have 3 kids under 4yo. I did daycare all day and my hubby left for work at 4:00pm leaving me a "single parent" all night. I didn't put my kids to bed at 6:30 because of it.

Single mom works all day and it tired at night? Yeah? So are all other moms!

[Alwaysgreener]

Only the fact that the "single parent card" (what I call it anyway) is in play. Seems that single parents think everything is soooooo much harder for them and it should just be easier. I don't buy that. I was a single parent for a bit, and the last few years being married to an over the road truck driver, I call myself "A married, single parent" due to I am the only one here 70 hours a week or more so I do most of it alone. But some single parents think that kiddo needs to go to bed early so they can rest or this or that and think that they should get discounts, because they don't have two incomes. I don't have daycare kids and I don't have an income, DH and I lived on $30,000 last year I know some single parents that made way more than that. I also know some who made about that and got all kinds of state aid that in my book, boosts income. I get so tired of single parents thinking that they somehow deserve or have earned something the rest of us haven't. I am a mom, you are a mom, they are a mom.... That's it we are all just moms.

My single sisters have found a whole deck of just that one card- "single parent card" (one of them can stack they deck to her favor every time)

I remember having my bedtime in K as 7:30, (woke around 6 for school, half day) so personal I do not find that to be early for the age. I do find 10 pm way to late. At 4 she should have 9-10 hours a night to make for an easy morning. Being overtried makes hard to get lo to sleep, I don't understand why people don't understand that.
My SIL always wonder why her kids go to bed for me and not her. I put them to bed at a reasonable time, 8 vs 10 or later. (plus they don't wake cranky)

[Thriftylady]

My single sisters have found a whole deck of just that one card- "single parent card" (one of them can stack they deck to her favor every time)

I remember having my bedtime in K as 7:30, (woke around 6 for school, half day) so personal I do not find that to be early for the age. I do find 10 pm way to late. At 4 she should have 9-10 hours a night to make for an easy morning. Being overtried makes hard to get lo to sleep, I don't understand why people don't understand that.
My SIL always wonder why her kids go to bed for me and not her. I put them to bed at a reasonable time, 8 vs 10 or later. (plus they don't wake cranky)

I think 8 is reasonable for children who have to get up in the morning, but 6:30 is just craziness in my book.

[KSDC]

My policy is that until they turn 5, they have to lie down quietly with everyone else. If she doesn't fall asleep in that 30 minutes, she can get up and do quiet activities. If she falls asleep, then her body must need the rest.

If mom doesn't like it, then she is free to find other DC and give me two weeks notice.