"not fair" turned into "he's mean"

[alicia@home]

Not sure where to start this...

I have a 5 year old dcb. He is a very sweet child and I enjoy having him here. Today at drop off his Mom mentioned that he said that my DS has been mean to him...She is not a parent to blame or think her kid is perfect, and she only brought it up b/c dcb was acting odd and I asked what was up. Anyways, I find this a bit odd b/c they play really well together and my son thinks that dcb is his cousin and asks about him all weekend. Also, dcb and other dck are big time tattles, so I don't understand how this is the first time I've heard of this.

I don't doubt ds has his moments of being mean, but it is out of character. Especially toward this particular child.

My thought...dcb is jealous of ds. Every time I hug ds or have a moment with him, he is always asking for the same or asking why I like ds better than him. I explain that while I do care about dcb, ds is my ds. Also, I do give him similar attention at some point in the day, b/c I do want him to feel loved here. I guess he is like this at home too and gets mad when dcm kisses dcd. In the past he has also tried to lie and get ds in trouble.

Also, my son is 2 and he is 5 and occasionally gets upset that he is not disciplined the exact same, not fair. Hmm...maybe he's actually trying to express some emotion towards me...?

Am I right to draw this conclusion? Should I say this to dcm as she is very receptive? Is there a way to stop him from feeling this way? Does it matter? Have you had similar situations?

THANK YOU! sorry this is so long...

[Unregistered]

I have an 18month dck who has been with me since 6months old. I have a 3yr old ds. Dck is very jealous of ds. They play very well together and dck thinks ds is dck brother (dck has a brother a little older than ds, but when we talk about families and the other dcks ask who is dck brother she looks for ds and says his name, which I correct). Dck constantly looks for and asks where ds is if dck can't see him. However, when it comes to having my attention dck gets very jealous when ds sits on my lap (tries to push/pull ds off), ds holds my hand so dck needs to hold my hand, etc. So far there have not been any problems, usually fighting over toys or me, but it's probably because dck is still learning to speak in phrases/sentences. If anything happens I explain to the dcp at pick up because I know dck can't articulate the full story.