How do I tell DCM I'm changing hours?

[NorthernMNgal]

So, I made a huge mistake. I told this DCM that I would be stay open until 6:30 for her a couple of days per week. I close at 5:30. However it is NOT working! I have asked her for her schedule every week and she just never provides it. Or it changes day to day. I felt bad for her because she is a single Mom and couldn't find anyone else. But she is just not respectful of my time and I don't think appreciates what I'm doing for her.

I am also just in a funk and don't want to stay open any later than I have to. I need to be taking more time for myself and this is cutting into that time I might have to do that.

I am really bad at face to face confrontation. Thinking of e-mailing or texting her this weekend that she will need to pick up DCG by closing time or find someone else. Do you all think that is ok? How much time do I need to give her to make other arrangements?

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I would just email and tell her it is not working out for you, so she will need to pick up by 5:30 or move on. If she pushes you for a reason, just keep repeating the same thing. "It is not a good fit for me." or "It is not working out for me." Simple, no long explanations, and don't go into detail. "It's business, not personal." It is your business, you can run it how you like and if she was smart, she would thank you for the extra hours you have already worked and find a way to make it work during your normal business hours. If not, then buy-bye!

[Blackcat31]

So, I made a huge mistake. I told this DCM that I would be stay open until 6:30 for her a couple of days per week. I close at 5:30. However it is NOT working! I have asked her for her schedule every week and she just never provides it. Or it changes day to day. I felt bad for her because she is a single Mom and couldn't find anyone else. But she is just not respectful of my time and I don't think appreciates what I'm doing for her.

I am also just in a funk and don't want to stay open any later than I have to. I need to be taking more time for myself and this is cutting into that time I might have to do that.

I am really bad at face to face confrontation. Thinking of e-mailing or texting her this weekend that she will need to pick up DCG by closing time or find someone else. Do you all think that is ok? How much time do I need to give her to make other arrangements?

The last person a provider takes care of herself/himself.

Don't feel guilty, bad or unsure about doing what you need to do to make YOUR life better, easier, less stress free. Ever.

"Dear DCM

Beginning the week of May 26, I will no longer be available to provide services after 5:30. Please make arrangements to have DCG picked up BY 5:30 to avoid late charges. If this change is not something you can manage, please submit your written notice of withdrawal/termination no later than Friday May 15.

Sincerely

Provider"

Do not apologize and do not offer to keep providing services until she finds someone (that could be forever) and don't give her a reason why. Just that you are no longer available.

I used to think parents* really "needed" (fill in the blank) or really needed me but the truth is, they only really need you when they are too lazy or not willing to figure it out themselves....and counting on a kind hearted, caring provider to feel bad for them and cover it.

*most parents. There ARE some really good ones out there.

[NorthernMNgal]

The last person a provider takes care of herself/himself.

Don't feel guilty, bad or unsure about doing what you need to do to make YOUR life better, easier, less stress free. Ever.

"Dear DCM

Beginning the week of May 26, I will no longer be available to provide services after 5:30. Please make arrangements to have DCG picked up BY 5:30 to avoid late charges. If this change is not something you can manage, please submit your written notice of withdrawal/termination no later than Friday May 15.

Sincerely

Provider"

Do not apologize and do not offer to keep providing services until she finds someone (that could be forever) and don't give her a reason why. Just that you are no longer available.

I used to think parents* really "needed" (fill in the blank) or really needed me but the truth is, they only really need you when they are too lazy or not willing to figure it out themselves....and counting on a kind hearted, caring provider to feel bad for them and cover it.

*most parents. There ARE some really good ones out there.

Thanks Blackcat!
Always such good advice! I'm learning that I definitely need to take better care of myself and trying to please everyone is not conducive to that!

[NorthernMNgal]

I would just email and tell her it is not working out for you, so she will need to pick up by 5:30 or move on. If she pushes you for a reason, just keep repeating the same thing. "It is not a good fit for me." or "It is not working out for me." Simple, no long explanations, and don't go into detail. "It's business, not personal." It is your business, you can run it how you like and if she was smart, she would thank you for the extra hours you have already worked and find a way to make it work during your normal business hours. If not, then buy-bye!

Thank you too! Also excellent advice!

[LindseyA]

Yes, please just find the strength to tell her the extra hours are not working for you! You might be nervous at first, but then you will feel empowered! After years of missing out on my daughters field trips and school parties because I had to watch all the dcks, I finally had enough and told the parents I am closing on June 18th to on a field trip. And guess what? All the parents were glad to find arrangements for that day and told me that I will have so much fun! Why didn't I do this year's ago?

[NorthernMNgal]

Definitely time to end THAT! She showed up at 7 freaking 30 tonight! Dropped her keys down the drain supposably. Ahhhhh! Some people!

[Kabob]

Definitely time to end THAT! She showed up at 7 freaking 30 tonight! Dropped her keys down the drain supposably. Ahhhhh! Some people!

:confused: Did she drop her phone down the drain too?

[CraftyMom]

I am willing to bet she gets off work much earlier.

When I changed my hours to opening an hour later I allowed one boy to continue to come at the earlier time. My mistake was never asking if they needed the earlier hours, I just assumed they did and I let him come earlier than everyone else. It was stressing me out to do this because I had to get my kids off to school and have him walk to the bus with us. One extra kid was a lot of extra work. So after a few months I said I couldn't do it anymore. The dad just said "ok no problem. I don't go to work until 9:00". I think I just stood there like this I was going through heck every morning with my 3 kids and struggling at the bus and having the extra kid around and they didn't even need him to be there! They only brought him because I was open.

[NorthernMNgal]

:confused: Did she drop her phone down the drain too?

She did text me and let me know what was happening but awhhhh. It's alwYs something!

[gameofthrones]

::::::::::::

:confused: Did she drop her phone down the drain too?

[gameofthrones]

I am willing to bet she gets off work much earlier.

When I changed my hours to opening an hour later I allowed one boy to continue to come at the earlier time. My mistake was never asking if they needed the earlier hours, I just assumed they did and I let him come earlier than everyone else. It was stressing me out to do this because I had to get my kids off to school and have him walk to the bus with us. One extra kid was a lot of extra work. So after a few months I said I couldn't do it anymore. The dad just said "ok no problem. I don't go to work until 9:00". I think I just stood there like this I was going through heck every morning with my 3 kids and struggling at the bus and having the extra kid around and they didn't even need him to be there! They only brought him because I was open.

rotflmao::::::::

[Kabob]

She did text me and let me know what was happening but awhhhh. It's alwYs something!

Then she should have used her phone to call someone else to pick up her child. She would be so done if she pulled that here...that's insane.

[kitykids3]

So when she called you did you ask if someone else was coming to get child? Just give her a note saying that starting such a date you will no longer be offering care beyond 5:30 and $xxx late fees for any minute beyond. You don't need to give her reason. Just tell her you are no longer able to.

[NorthernMNgal]

So when she called you did you ask if someone else was coming to get child? Just give her a note saying that starting such a date you will no longer be offering care beyond 5:30 and $xxx late fees for any minute beyond. You don't need to give her reason. Just tell her you are no longer able to.

Yep I told her after this week I would no longer be able to provide after hours care. No response yet. I told her on Friday and dcg is gone today.