Need Advice on Clingy Parent and Child

[Unregistered]

Logged out for this one. I have family that drop offs and pickups are really difficult. DCM is more of a problem at pickups. But drop offs with both parents are drawn out. The child is constantly try to control the parents and she is getting away with it. Multiple hugs and kisses at the door. She is literally hanging on them like a monkey. When they pickup the child starts crying. More so with DCM than DCD. Its driving me absolutely nuts. Recently the childs behaviour is escalating and she is scream crying for absolutely no reason. I think alot has to do with pickups and drop offs. I do enjoy talking with dcm but I was watching the child and she is ****ing her thumb and hanging on her eyes closed. Its absolutely ridiculous. At pickups the child starts doing things that aren't allowed at daycare. then turns and looks directly at me.

So how do I get this under control in the morning. I was thinking of asking them to not take longer then 40 seconds to drop off or pickup. Unfortunately when they pickup or drop off there usually isn't anyone behind them arriving. that definitely makes for quick pickups.

[Kabob]

I tell parents that I noticed their child is having trouble transitioning with pickups and drop offs, so we will need to do xyz (whatever works for you) at these times to shorten them to no more than a few seconds. If they have any questions about their day, they can call, text, or email.

Be sure to tell them this before drop off or pick up.

I have a dck that I have dcm just bring to the door then I take over from there. She texts me any special info (ie, dck is going to be picked up by a grandparent). Then I have her text me when she's 5 minutes away from pick up and then I have him ready and scoot him out the door to dcm. Takes all of a few seconds.

Made my life easier since it caused all the other kiddos to get worked up too seeing the behavior at these times...

[Unregistered]

You should try nannyde's changing of the guard technique. Similar to the pp, dcm and kid do goodbyes at the car and when they are ready, dcm knocks and then you take the child and say bye and close the door. The parent does not come inside and at drop off, they send a quick text when they are coming, and you send dck out when they get there. It puts drop off and pick up back on the parent. It really helps and you would be amazed at how quickly parents get in line with a quick drop off. They can sit out at the car and do the clingy/crying thing and when they get to the point that it gets old for them, they will start getting more firm and setting standards for their kid. My drop offs are quick. "Hi! Say bye to mom and lets get busy!" Any parents who linger end up standing at the door alone, because I take the kid and we walk away and say bye! There are too many things going on int he morning to sit and do a 15 minute drop off with every kid.

[daycare]

I second the Nannyde article..


here is a letter I send home and then follow up in person with...

From time to time kids will go through phases both good and bad. It seems as though CHILD is going through a difficult phase with morning drop off time, which is normal. While we can't predict when children will have good or bad mornings, the best thing that we can do is keep a consistent, predictable routine with clear boundaries and expectations. It is not uncommon for a child to test the boundaries when both the parent and provider are present.

In order to help CHILD through this phase at drop off time, it is best for the parent dropping off to start their good-bye routine outside before approaching the front door. Be sure to be clear about your expectations and offerings. Daddy/Mommy is going to sign in, one kiss, one hug and then daddy/mommy is going to leave. Avoid the temptation to give into their request to stay longer. When we give into the kids asking for one more hug, one more kiss, they are trying to do what they can to prolong the drop off and feel as though they can manipulate the parents into staying as long as possible. But as soon as the parent decides to stop the child from the unpredictable game, the child grows upset and angry that they were not successful at getting just one more and didn't win.

The drop off process happens best when we rip it off like a Band-Aid. The faster you do it, the less painful it is. Normally, as soon as the parent leaves, the show is over and the child moves on.


Hopefully working together we can tackle the morning drop off routine for CHILD and help them through this. Please be aware, that if we are not able to get CHILDs behavior under control at drop off/ pick up, we will have to ask you to conduct drop and pick up outside the home with an immediate drop off/pick up taking place each day. While we would hate to have to go to this extreme to transition your child, it is important that we help your child remain safe, ready for success as well as make certain that the provider is able to keep the other children in care safe. With all situations regarding our children we need to make certain that the care of one child does not jeopardize the care of all the others. When a child is uncontrollable, this demands most of the providers attention and takes away the providers ability to provide excellent to all.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter, As always, should you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me.

[Unregistered]

Well Nanny de's bye bye at the door is working great thanks. This child is so running the show. Next problem now they are staying in the yard and playing after leaving the door. Which is so not going to work with the other kids. I had another parent wait in the house waiting for them to leave because she knew her child was going to start trying the same.

[Luvnmykidz]

Inform the parent that once the child is signed out they need to leave the property for safety and insurance reasons. Tell them your insurance will not allow you to have children on your property that are not signed in and being physically supervised by you. Also let them know that the play in the yard is interfering with other parents needing to leave. Or you could just state, when you pick your child up please don't linger on my property.

[nannyde]

Well Nanny de's bye bye at the door is working great thanks. This child is so running the show. Next problem now they are staying in the yard and playing after leaving the door. Which is so not going to work with the other kids. I had another parent wait in the house waiting for them to leave because she knew her child was going to start trying the same.

That's what I'm saying!