Opinions On Diapers/3.5 Yr Old

[Blackcat31]

Okay, I'm looking for some opinions.....actually I'm wondering what other providers would do in this situation. I have a 3.5 yr old dck who I potty trained when the child was 2.5 or so. No accidents and no problem...went on their own when told and sometimes went without being told to go. No accidents for over 2 months. Summer came and child stayed home because mom was in college. Mom got lazy and reverted to diapers...said child would NOT use potty for her. Child came for drop in days here and there through out summer to keep in touch and in routine a bit. While here the child came in a diaper and I put underwear on child and had no problems. Mom stuck to the whole refuses to use toilet at home and how she hates her couch being peed on etc..... so anyways, fall comes and mom gets a full time job and child comes back to childcare in diapers. I have child use potty but still arrives everyday in a diaper. I try to have child go to potty when others do, but if I don't tell child to go, child will remain in wet diaper without caring.....If I tell child to go potty, they go, but then I have to redo the whole diaper thing and it is just becoming a pain in my rump....mom will not send pull ups because they are too expensive and will not send underwear because she insists child is not trained. Basically she is telling me that if I allow underwear then the child will want to wear them at home too and since she is convinced the child is not trained, she would rather not clean up pee from all over.

Bottom line is I am exausting myself by having this child continue to use the potty but mom is super lazy and will NOT get on board. I decided that I would have the child use toilet as a trained child but when they keep coming in a diaper I am finding the child no longer cares if they use the toilet or not and the little window of opportunity is closing fast....so am I a bad provider if I just let the kid wear diapers and not worry about it so much any more. Seems like I am the only one worrying about this. I keep thinking that it is mom's problem if she wants to have a kindergartener in diapers! She gives the kid a paci at home too (NEVER had one here) There is no daytime pooping here so that isn't a problem. But I am seriously thinking I should just stop talking and doing anything and let the kid wear diapers...why should I keep caring if no one else does......GRRR!!!

What would you guys do? Remember mom really doesn't care....I doubt having a disscussion with her would matter....I think diapers are just plain easier for her.....

[QualiTcare]

Okay, I'm looking for some opinions.....actually I'm wondering what other providers would do in this situation. I have a 3.5 yr old dck who I potty trained when the child was 2.5 or so. No accidents and no problem...went on their own when told and sometimes went without being told to go. No accidents for over 2 months. Summer came and child stayed home because mom was in college. Mom got lazy and reverted to diapers...said child would NOT use potty for her. Child came for drop in days here and there through out summer to keep in touch and in routine a bit. While here the child came in a diaper and I put underwear on child and had no problems. Mom stuck to the whole refuses to use toilet at home and how she hates her couch being peed on etc..... so anyways, fall comes and mom gets a full time job and child comes back to childcare in diapers. I have child use potty but still arrives everyday in a diaper. I try to have child go to potty when others do, but if I don't tell child to go, child will remain in wet diaper without caring.....If I tell child to go potty, they go, but then I have to redo the whole diaper thing and it is just becoming a pain in my rump....mom will not send pull ups because they are too expensive and will not send underwear because she insists child is not trained. Basically she is telling me that if I allow underwear then the child will want to wear them at home too and since she is convinced the child is not trained, she would rather not clean up pee from all over.

Bottom line is I am exausting myself by having this child continue to use the potty but mom is super lazy and will NOT get on board. I decided that I would have the child use toilet as a trained child but when they keep coming in a diaper I am finding the child no longer cares if they use the toilet or not and the little window of opportunity is closing fast....so am I a bad provider if I just let the kid wear diapers and not worry about it so much any more. Seems like I am the only one worrying about this. I keep thinking that it is mom's problem if she wants to have a kindergartener in diapers! She gives the kid a paci at home too (NEVER had one here) There is no daytime pooping here so that isn't a problem. But I am seriously thinking I should just stop talking and doing anything and let the kid wear diapers...why should I keep caring if no one else does......GRRR!!!

What would you guys do? Remember mom really doesn't care....I doubt having a disscussion with her would matter....I think diapers are just plain easier for her.....

nope, ur not bad. i said this awhile back about bottles, diapers, etc. if a parent wants a kid toting around a bottle with mt. dew and a turd in their diaper - oh well. it's not worth stressing yourself out over because it's not going to change. i learned this long ago. it's annoying to see a kid you know is capable not using their potential, but it's more annoying when your hard work is flushed down the drain every day at pick up time.

[tenderhearts]

Oh I feel for you. I posted last week about a dcb who was in my care for a year and a half. I tried working on the potty training and he was doing well, although he never actually got out of diapers, well he left end of June came in for a drop in day last week mom brings in diapers, he is NOT potty trained, he will be 4 in less than a month. She said he knows what to do, he refuses to do it. Ugh wow, home with both parents the whole 6 months. Not only that but this boy was polite, kind, followed directions but when he was here that one day last week, om word, he was a tyrrant, he spit at me, was mean to the kids, stuck his tongue out, threw his silverware at the table, used my couch as a jungle gym , wow some parents.
It's frustrating when you have done good things for a child then parents don't help out at all.....or ruin what you've done.

[E Daycare]

nope, ur not bad. i said this awhile back about bottles, diapers, etc. if a parent wants a kid toting around a bottle with mt. dew and a turd in their diaper - oh well. it's not worth stressing yourself out over because it's not going to change. i learned this long ago. it's annoying to see a kid you know is capable not using their potential, but it's more annoying when your hard work is flushed down the drain every day at pick up time.

I had to laugh at the Mt dew and turd in the diaper .

Youre right though and Im figuring this out too. The parent 'Parents' how they want and with some they want no imput. I had one tell me they wanted to start potty training their almost 2 yr old but felt it was no issue that he was still on infant formula and used a bottle and didnt think of maybe weaning him off the bottle first...(these parents also told me the reason why he never said words was because she thought he was waiting till he knew how to say the word properly. Like one day he would just say "hey mom, those "your baby can read" Dvds worked wonders and I can also say my ABCs backwards!").

The current little boy I watch mom told me she will work on potty training him over the summer when shes on break. At least I have one thats willing to do so. For now...

[melskids]

i dont stress over it. i have two right now who are both capable of being potty trained, but neither family is doing it. i'm not gonna bang my head against the wall.

[laundrymom]

I'd tell her fine, just bring diapers. And change him at every dribble. Also, each time he pees in potty get a fresh dipe. Be sure that you accidentally rip it or see that its sweaty or something and grab a fresh one Make her diaper expense go up. I mean if you are using no diapers, and she is, her diaper expense is cut in half. The only way to fix that is by increasing the cost. And making her see that using undies is cheaper.

[E Daycare]

What I dont get is why would some parents want to deal with changing diapers on a kid whos 3.5 feet tall and weighs maybe 40lbs? Thats a lot of wrestling! Also with the kids reaching almost prek and kindergarten coming up a lot of schools wont accept a child who isnt potty trained. I know as a preK teacher the last game I wanted to play was "track that smell" and then have to deal with changing it.

[laundrymom]

Also, since he is potty learning he should try every hour or so,... That's potentially 12-15 diapers a day. Adding in wets and poops. :-) evil I know but keeping your son in diapers because your too lazy to take him potty is evil too

I'd tell her fine, just bring diapers. And change him at every dribble. Also, each time he pees in potty get a fresh dipe. Be sure that you accidentally rip it or see that its sweaty or something and grab a fresh one Make her diaper expense go up. I mean if you are using no diapers, and she is, her diaper expense is cut in half. The only way to fix that is by increasing the cost. And making her see that using undies is cheaper.

[countrymom]

either I would use diapers like crazy to her cost goes up (tell her that she pees too much) or every time she poops that you expect the mom to come and change her because she is giving you a hard time.

[QualiTcare]

What I dont get is why would some parents want to deal with changing diapers on a kid whos 3.5 feet tall and weighs maybe 40lbs? Thats a lot of wrestling! Also with the kids reaching almost prek and kindergarten coming up a lot of schools wont accept a child who isnt potty trained. I know as a preK teacher the last game I wanted to play was "track that smell" and then have to deal with changing it.

it would be a rare case for a kid getting ready to start kindergarten not to be potty trained, but they wouldn't be able to start if they weren't - unless they were a child with special needs and that was part of it. a child wouldn't be put in special ed because they weren't potty trained though. i don't know a kindergarten teacher on the planet who would change diapers or accidents every day - they're not even allowed to.

[jen]

I would tell her that the rate for non-potty trained preschoolers is $30 per week extra...

[E Daycare]

I would tell her that the rate for non-potty trained preschoolers is $30 per week extra...

If there was a "like" button Id push that. Good idea!

[laundrymom]

I once had a call for care. 6 yr old, I said I had an opening but because k is half day here I would Stijl have to charge full time rate, I said ok why isn't school?

Oh I haven't had time to potty train her but she wears diapers that fit her so I don't see a problem.

Hmmmmm no thankyou. Lol

it would be a rare case for a kid getting ready to start kindergarten not to be potty trained, but they wouldn't be able to start if they weren't - unless they were a child with special needs and that was part of it. a child wouldn't be put in special ed because they weren't potty trained though. i don't know a kindergarten teacher on the planet who would change diapers or accidents every day - they're not even allowed to.

[Blackcat31]

I would tell her that the rate for non-potty trained preschoolers is $30 per week extra...

I charge $28 per day for toilet trained and up and $35 a day for non toilet trained children....she is on assistannce from the state which pays me the $28 (per his age) a day and she does pay me the $7 extra!! I thought that would defer her thinking but obviously she couldn't care less. The child is here 5 days a week so she forks over an extra $280 or so a month but it doesn't phase her!?!?! She is also living in subsidized housing, gets WIC, gets medical assistance and child care assistance and even got a newer (2009) car a few months ago because she participated in a program for single moms who needed a low interest rate loan to get reliable transportation. BTW, she is in in her early 30's and has an older child who is 14. I had him in care too but she was a different type of parent then....she had a job, was in college, looking to buy her first home and somewhere along the way she has learned to live off the system and not move forward. The oldest kids dad is not in picture but pays child support and the 3.5 yr old one has a daddy who resides within our country's penal system. Won't be visiting his child until child is driving and hopfully NOT still in diapers!!! LOL!

[laundrymom]

Seems like an additional. 20 per week for diapers may be the way to go. :-) [h QUOTE=Blackcat31;68462]I charge $28 per day for toilet trained and up and $35 a day for non toilet trained children....she is on assistannce from the state which pays me the $28 (per his age) a day and she does pay me the $7 extra!! I thought that would defer her thinking but obviously she couldn't care less. The child is here 5 days a week so she forks over an extra $280 or so a month but it doesn't phase her!?!?! She is also living in subsidized housing, gets WIC, gets medical assistance and child care assistance and even got a newer (2009) car a few months ago because she participated in a program for single moms who needed a low interest rate loan to get reliable transportation. BTW, she is in in her early 30's and has an older child who is 14. I had him in care too but she was a different type of parent then....she had a job, was in college, looking to buy her first home and somewhere along the way she has learned to live off the system and not move forward. The oldest kids dad is not in picture but pays child support and the 3.5 yr old one has a daddy who resides within our country's penal system. Won't be visiting his child until child is driving and hopfully NOT still in diapers!!! LOL![/QUOTE]