Questions about DCB and Breast Milk

[NightOwl]

I can't see denying food to a child who is walking and almost one. In my area, kids are on table foods by this time and their fluid intake is breast milk or formula, but slowly changing over to whole milk.

I agree he isn't getting enough fluids, but Idk about making him go hungry as a way of getting the fluids in him. In my area, not sure about everywhere else, we would be given a serious deficiency for denying food.

Has mom tried pedialyte? Plain, filtered water? I would definitely continue offering the breast milk in a sippy while he waits for meals, and maybe make it available at other times throughout the day, but not deny him solid foods altogether.

[Unregistered]

I can't see denying food to a child who is walking and almost one. In my area, kids are on table foods by this time and their fluid intake is breast milk or formula, but slowly changing over to whole milk.

I agree he isn't getting enough fluids, but Idk about making him go hungry as a way of getting the fluids in him. In my area, not sure about everywhere else, we would be given a serious deficiency for denying food.

Has mom tried pedialyte? Plain, filtered water? I would definitely continue offering the breast milk in a sippy while he waits for meals, and maybe make it available at other times throughout the day, but not deny him solid foods altogether.

It's not just fluid, it's formula or breastmilk. Exactly what he needs at 10 months.

[Leigh]

I can't see denying food to a child who is walking and almost one. In my area, kids are on table foods by this time and their fluid intake is breast milk or formula, but slowly changing over to whole milk.

I agree he isn't getting enough fluids, but Idk about making him go hungry as a way of getting the fluids in him. In my area, not sure about everywhere else, we would be given a serious deficiency for denying food.

Has mom tried pedialyte? Plain, filtered water? I would definitely continue offering the breast milk in a sippy while he waits for meals, and maybe make it available at other times throughout the day, but not deny him solid foods altogether.

Breastmilk IS food, and it's the food he needs most, though. Having the child drink his breastmilk first and then letting the child eat an appropriate size portion is what needs to be done. The child should then be full and have the nutrients he needs. Breastmilk and formula ARE enough for a child, but certainly the solids are more enjoyable, which is why he holds out for them.

[Unregistered]

So he is only with you three days a week at 13 hours per day?

If he is there 13 hours five days a week the breastfeeding relationship aint gonna work.

Please please please tell me he is part time.

Six oz a day in 13 hours is awful. He needs to be cut off the food and only given it after he has drank a six oz bottle straight. If he doesn't eat then hold off and offer him another six oz bottle. I personally wouldn't allow him to have any food for a week or two to get him back on the milk.

Once he hits twelve months he will go down to four oz cups of milk. Between now and then the food isn't important at all. He needs to have just green veg and meat if he does have food. If you are on the food program and he has to have starch I would do smashed beans for his bread.
If he is only getting a half oz (tablespoon) of milk an hour average he is NOT getting what he needs. He needs an average of 2 ounces an hour.

He is with me 4-5 days a week, 13 hours a day. What should I do in this situation? I offer him the bottle, but he doesn't want it. He drinks some bm in the sippy with his meals. Should I stop giig him solids all together until he drinks more milk? I get nervous with playing a battle of wills with a ten month old

Thank you all for the advice. Just want to make sure this little nugget is getting what he needs. He is my most active baby ever and such a sweetie! But, he is also very stubborn and feisty, so battling over what food he eats may be an issue and not one I am looking forward to.

[NightOwl]

Breastmilk IS food, and it's the food he needs most, though. Having the child drink his breastmilk first and then letting the child eat an appropriate size portion is what needs to be done. The child should then be full and have the nutrients he needs. Breastmilk and formula ARE enough for a child, but certainly the solids are more enjoyable, which is why he holds out for them.

That's kind of what I said in the last paragraph of my post. Offer him the breast milk while he waits for his meal and make it available to him throughout the day, not just at meal times. I understand the importance of breast milk. I breast fed my own kids. But I also know that, as they approach the one year mark, they begin to rely more on table foods. That's what this kid is doing.

[nannyde]

He is with me 4-5 days a week, 13 hours a day. What should I do in this situation? I offer him the bottle, but he doesn't want it. He drinks some bm in the sippy with his meals. Should I stop giig him solids all together until he drinks more milk? I get nervous with playing a battle of wills with a ten month old

Thank you all for the advice. Just want to make sure this little nugget is getting what he needs. He is my most active baby ever and such a sweetie! But, he is also very stubborn and feisty, so battling over what food he eats may be an issue and not one I am looking forward to.

Are you on the.food program and.would the mom be comfortable with doing a hold out for a week? Does she supply enough milk?

Please tell me why they need such crazy long hours?

[Unregistered]

Are you on the.food program and.would the mom be comfortable with doing a hold out for a week? Does she supply enough milk?

Please tell me why they need such crazy long hours?

No, I am not on the food program and I am not sure what mom would think about that. I doubt she would do it at home, because I have a feeling they feed him whatever they eat and he gets mad if they don't, so I don't think she would stick to it. I asked her last night at pick up if he was nursing quite a bit int he evening and if she felt he was getting enough milk and she said she thought he was fine. She said he night nurses too, so he is probably getting enough. She is contradicting herself, though, because just yesterday at drop off she said she thought he was going through a growth spurt because he was sleeping all night every night. Unless she doesn't count night nursing as waking up? Anyway, I will keep pushing the milk here and limit his table foods and see how it goes. Mom does dispatch work, so she works 12 hour shifts (13 hours with driving time) and does a 5-2-5-3 schedule, so little man is with me the majority of the time and with dad on the weekends when mom works. He is a really great baby, but it does get to be a long day for both of us (and mom too!)

[NightOwl]

Those are some crazy long days. Dad can't pick up any earlier? Poor thing... You're doing the right thing. Push the milk, but still allow him some table foods. The food program would never allow you to withhold table foods. I think that's why others have asked.

[nannyde]

No, I am not on the food program and I am not sure what mom would think about that. I doubt she would do it at home, because I have a feeling they feed him whatever they eat and he gets mad if they don't, so I don't think she would stick to it. I asked her last night at pick up if he was nursing quite a bit int he evening and if she felt he was getting enough milk and she said she thought he was fine. She said he night nurses too, so he is probably getting enough. She is contradicting herself, though, because just yesterday at drop off she said she thought he was going through a growth spurt because he was sleeping all night every night. Unless she doesn't count night nursing as waking up? Anyway, I will keep pushing the milk here and limit his table foods and see how it goes. Mom does dispatch work, so she works 12 hour shifts (13 hours with driving time) and does a 5-2-5-3 schedule, so little man is with me the majority of the time and with dad on the weekends when mom works. He is a really great baby, but it does get to be a long day for both of us (and mom too!)

So if the mom does twelve hour shifts she would do three days a week. If she is doing overtime then you should be in overtime the fourth and fifth day.

I wonder if part of this is he's too jacked up to settle down and hand feed himself a bottle or stay at the breast. Kids who are in daycare for REALLY long hours have a higher chance of having ADD ADHD.

Babies NEED to be with their parents. They NEED a substantial amount of AWAKE time daily with their mother. He needs at least five WAKING hours a day with his parents every day. If he's on a 13 hour day it is IMPOSSIBLE that they have him for more than a couple of hours a day awake.

I keep bringing up the hours because I fear you may be addressing the wrong issue.

[Unregistered]

Have you looked up the usda food guidlines? Maybe he is just getting too much food. The required amounts are fairly small and a lot of parents don't realize it. I had a parent totally plug up their baby not knowing and feeding double those amounts.

Lunch minimum:
2 Tb cereal
1 Tb fruit/veg
6 oz breastmilk or formula.

That's the minimum. Try doing the minimum of everything to see if that works.

[Unregistered]

So if the mom does twelve hour shifts she would do three days a week. If she is doing overtime then you should be in overtime the fourth and fifth day.

I wonder if part of this is he's too jacked up to settle down and hand feed himself a bottle or stay at the breast. Kids who are in daycare for REALLY long hours have a higher chance of having ADD ADHD.

Babies NEED to be with their parents. They NEED a substantial amount of AWAKE time daily with their mother. He needs at least five WAKING hours a day with his parents every day. If he's on a 13 hour day it is IMPOSSIBLE that they have him for more than a couple of hours a day awake.

I keep bringing up the hours because I fear you may be addressing the wrong issue.

Mom is salary and a big one at that. I increased my wage when she asked for the new hours, so as of right now, it is me and baby boy, so I feel like I need to make choices for him based on the time he spends with me, which is quite a lot more than he does with mom/dad. He wants very little to do with a bottle now (always took one before the last few weeks), but I think some of it has to do with dad too. He is with dad on the weekends and dad is LAZY! If he won't take a bottle from me, I know he is not taking it from dad and dad has no schedule, so my guess is he is giving him snacks/food and he is waiting for mom to get home to nurse. Not sure of this, but I know dad and he is not super proactive, so I am sure he does whatever to make dcb be happy, regardless of schedule or healthy nutrition. (mom said baby loves cheetos...yikes!)

[nannyde]

Mom is salary and a big one at that. I increased my wage when she asked for the new hours, so as of right now, it is me and baby boy, so I feel like I need to make choices for him based on the time he spends with me, which is quite a lot more than he does with mom/dad. He wants very little to do with a bottle now (always took one before the last few weeks), but I think some of it has to do with dad too. He is with dad on the weekends and dad is LAZY! If he won't take a bottle from me, I know he is not taking it from dad and dad has no schedule, so my guess is he is giving him snacks/food and he is waiting for mom to get home to nurse. Not sure of this, but I know dad and he is not super proactive, so I am sure he does whatever to make dcb be happy, regardless of schedule or healthy nutrition. (mom said baby loves cheetos...yikes!)

They are filling him up on carb and sugar treats so the milk taste awful.

I would do bottles first and have her do breakfast and supper. That way he will only have lunch at you house. Do the minimum serving of the food as the poster put up above. He will refuse at the beginning of the week but should be fine by Tuesday afternoon.

[Rachel]

I can't see denying food to a child who is walking and almost one. In my area, kids are on table foods by this time and their fluid intake is breast milk or formula, but slowly changing over to whole milk.

I agree he isn't getting enough fluids, but Idk about making him go hungry as a way of getting the fluids in him. In my area, not sure about everywhere else, we would be given a serious deficiency for denying food.

Has mom tried pedialyte? Plain, filtered water? I would definitely continue offering the breast milk in a sippy while he waits for meals, and maybe make it available at other times throughout the day, but not deny him solid foods altogether.

I totally agree. There is nothing "magic" about a kid turning 12 months. In fact here, when sometimes I had parents not want to provide milk / formula to older kids eating well (say 10m plus) I was told I can't require it because if they are nursing night / morning / afternoon and eating a good variety of foods during the day it was fine. If kids can technically wean totally from breastmilk / formula at 12 months it isn't so crazy that at 10 months if they are eating well they don't need much of it during the day. I got a one year old this year who woudlnt' take a bottle. She was here from excatly 12 months old, 8 hours a day, and just eating. Two of my boys were 10 months old at the beginning of the year and both of them were only taking 120 - 180 ml of formula a day here, with only an extra 120 if they didn't eat lunch well for whatever reason.

I do agree a child who is not drinking bottles should be drinking enough water though. Thre is a difference between needing milk and needing water.

[NightOwl]

I totally agree. There is nothing "magic" about a kid turning 12 months. In fact here, when sometimes I had parents not want to provide milk / formula to older kids eating well (say 10m plus) I was told I can't require it because if they are nursing night / morning / afternoon and eating a good variety of foods during the day it was fine. If kids can technically wean totally from breastmilk / formula at 12 months it isn't so crazy that at 10 months if they are eating well they don't need much of it during the day. I got a one year old this year who woudlnt' take a bottle. She was here from excatly 12 months old, 8 hours a day, and just eating. Two of my boys were 10 months old at the beginning of the year and both of them were only taking 120 - 180 ml of formula a day here, with only an extra 120 if they didn't eat lunch well for whatever reason.

I do agree a child who is not drinking bottles should be drinking enough water though. Thre is a difference between needing milk and needing water.

Thank you! I seem to be in the minority. Breast milk IS vitally important for younger babies, but not so much for older ones who are eating a wide variety of foods. This little guy is also somewhat advanced as is, considering he was walking at 8 months, so he may just be doing things earlier than usual.

And the food program would never allow withholding food, nor would DHR. Dhr would actually consider it a punishment for not drinking the milk, and a punishment that involves withholding food could get my license revoked.

[NightOwl]

Op, I just thought of something else. Could mom be eating/drinking something that makes her milk taste bad/weird? I've heard that certain foods can make breastmilk taste different. Just a thought.