Comfort quirks - should I discourage?

[Indoorvoice]

I have a little dcg 16 MO, who had had a hard time getting acclimated to daycare part time. She is very much the baby of the family and gets every one of her needs meet immediately by her family. It's been tough here, but she is finally starting to understand how daycare works so I have gradually been expecting more independence from her.

She has several little quirks that she appears to use for comfort. She twirls and pulls her hair, rubs her face and mouth to the point of creating a chaffing rash, pulls her ears and sticks her fingers in them, and ****s on all her fingers. It's not causing any harm (except for the chaffing) but it drives me bonkers. It just grosses me out for some reason. I've been discouraging this behavior when she is with us in the group, but she is allowed to go to the calm down spot to do it and when she goes down for nap. However, once she starts, it's hard to get her to stop. I'm wondering if I should try to get her to stop these behaviors at all times or just let it be. I feel like she should be past the point of needing these comforts all the time, but it could just be my own annoyances with these behaviors that are fueling my need to make her stop.

[daycarediva]

I have a 3yo thumb ****er I've been trying to get to stop since she was 18m. It's not even noticed by her parents (HOW? DO THEY NOT LOOK AT HER?!) but even the pediatrician noted it on his physical exam summary and recommended that she stop. It's so severe, it's realigning her mouth on one side. ONE of her front teeth is starting to grow forward and the roof of her mouth is even different. She ****s one thumb and twirls her hair with the other hand. I've gotten the hair twirling to stop, since she was trying to do that to EVERYONE, but giving her small scraps of soft ribbons to rub.

Maybe redirect it to some other sensory object?

[nannyde]

Is she breastfed at home and is this one handed or both?

[Indoorvoice]

She is not breastfed at home any longer. She weened at 12 months. Often times she is doing one thing with one hand while simultaneously doing another with the other hand. Ex: pulling hair while ****ing fingers, or pulling ears while rubbing face.

[mduck]

I breastfed all my kids. My first one had no comfort habits. My second one - thumb ****er with taggie (but she did the thumb ****ing before birth. Nurse pointed out to me that my newborn had a healed blister on her thumb area at birth so she was ****ing in womb).

My third, ****s her two middle fingers and is addicted to her belly button. Yes her belly button. If she is ****ing her fingers her other hand is messing with the button. I think this does have something to do with nursing because her one hand is pinned behind you while nursing and the other hand is free to pull on your hair/clothes or whatever. So now she has to 'do' something with the other hand. Just my two cents.

Have I tried to discourage the behavior? Not yet. I know there is probably some science behind breaking the habits, but I didn't give up my 'thumb ****ing' habit till kinder. Id feel a little like a hypocrite if I made mine quit so soon because of that. I don't have crooked teeth and never needed braces (though I do know that some are affected by this badly). As I can't really say, Mommy did this and I ended up with very crooked teeth, etc.

I know a boy who needed to rub his moms ear even as he got older if we were all sitting around talking, Id see him reach up to her ear. Does he do it today? No. He was a nurser too.

Note: I do discourage the belly button, but not the finger ****ing YET. The belly button thing is a little weird.

Sorry I don't have any solutions, as I'm going to be facing breaking the habits too, but I did want to say that I think nursing is a big factor.

[Indoorvoice]

Interesting! I have never thought to make the connection between that and breastfeeding! Both of my dds were breastfed and the only thing I notice with my youngest is that she crosses her fingers on both hands, but I don't really find that distracting. Perhaps I'm biased though. My older dd doesn't have any quirks that I noticed, but we were done breastfeeding around 8 months so maybe that had something to do with it.

[Unregistered]

Problem is if parents aren't doing anything about it you will get no where so may as well leave it alone. I have one almost two still in a bottle. I tried sippys but since mom isn't doing it I let it go. Not my child so whatever...but ya...annoying.

[daycare]

i was always told to let them be. The more you bring attention to it, the more they are going to do it.

I would let them be, they won't do it forever.

[mduck]

My older one that did not end up with any comforting habits weaned herself earlier than my others.