Visits

[Unregistered]

I've been doing daycare for many years, and in the last 2/3 years most new families I've enrolled want to come hang out with all the kids here once before the child actually starts. I don't conduct interviews during daycare hours, and it is actually prohibited by the state. These are families that have already interviewed, and communicated with me by phone and e-mail many times.

They always say they are curious how it happens (1 person with 8 kids under age 5). I get that. I was curious, too, when our oldest was in a home daycare before I started mine, BUT I never would have dreamed of asking her if I could come "observe." I checked the license status, I called the references, I listened to my instincts, and I paid attention to the environment when I dropped off and picked up. I would never have expected to interrupt her day or make a nuisance of myself. I'm curious how many different jobs are done, but also accept that the person doing it is educated, trained, and experienced to do that job, and just because I don't think I could do it certainly doesn't mean someone else can't.

I understand their desire to come hang out. Of course I do. I guess what I am seeing is just more people that think the sun rises and sets with them, and an unbelievable expectation that their wants be treated as needs and always met. I haven't said no to one of these requests, and endured them no matter how inconvenient or awkward. Just had to whine to someone because I'm having one of these "visits" today...

[Blackcat31]

I've been doing daycare for many years, and in the last 2/3 years most new families I've enrolled want to come hang out with all the kids here once before the child actually starts. I don't conduct interviews during daycare hours, and it is actually prohibited by the state. These are families that have already interviewed, and communicated with me by phone and e-mail many times.

They always say they are curious how it happens (1 person with 8 kids under age 5). I get that. I was curious, too, when our oldest was in a home daycare before I started mine, BUT I never would have dreamed of asking her if I could come "observe." I checked the license status, I called the references, I listened to my instincts, and I paid attention to the environment when I dropped off and picked up. I would never have expected to interrupt her day or make a nuisance of myself. I'm curious how many different jobs are done, but also accept that the person doing it is educated, trained, and experienced to do that job, and just because I don't think I could do it certainly doesn't mean someone else can't.

I understand their desire to come hang out. Of course I do. I guess what I am seeing is just more people that think the sun rises and sets with them, and an unbelievable expectation that their wants be treated as needs and always met. I haven't said no to one of these requests, and endured them no matter how inconvenient or awkward. Just had to whine to someone because I'm having one of these "visits" today...

"While I understand that you would want to "see me in action" before leaving your child for the first time, I cannot allow it for several reasons.

First is the privacy of the other children and their family's. I do diaper changes, deal with medical issues/conditions, and discuss their home life with them on a daily basis. I have a strict privacy policy and having another adult around violates the trust between my clients and myself.

Second, you are a stranger to the children and their parents. Please consider how you would feel if your child were in care and I allowed a strange adult to the daycare to observe your child.

Third, I consider the trust my clients place in me the cornerstone of our relationship. In a childcare relationship I am asking that a client trust me completely with their child. I ask for honesty and open communication. Asking me to prove myself above and beyond my criminal background check, photo identification, insurance information, and references is not something I am willing to do.

I do understand if you need to find other arrangements. Just know that I value the children's safety and security above all else and allowing adults in to observe them is not part of the safe and secure environment I promise them each and every day."

[Unregistered]

That's an excellent response! I am going to write that down and have it ready by the phone for the next time this request happens. Do you also have a polite, kosher response to the family (like the one that's coming today) that thinks their baby needs to "get to know me before their first day?" I interviewed this mom while she was preggo, baby was born in Feb, and starts at the end of May. It's a nice thought, but honestly has no bearing on her first day when she is only 3 months old.

[rosieteddy]

The most I ever allowed was a visit outdoors.I would allow parent and child to visit for 30 min at outdoor afternoon playtime outdoors. For all the reasons stated by previous poster.

[rosieteddy]

In answer to baby needs to know you,I used to do a half day or let parent pick extra hours before going back to work.It was usually a nightmare baby cried no matter what.Recently (past 10 yrs)I tell parent to stop by Friday before care and drop off supplies and let me meet baby.This is during the afternoon outdoor play time.If weather is bad I do it right at closing 30 min tops .

[Unregistered]

Well, that was annoying. Kids were on best behavior, everything went smooth. But now we are off-schedule and the kids have kind of lost their minds (thankfully they waited till she was gone). She was here for an hour and fifteen and I had a hard time scooting her out at that! To top it off, she was going to pick up my youngest when he started fussing because I was holding her baby. I told her I would get him, here take your baby. She said it was okay, she didn't mind, to which I had to tell her I CAN'T let you pick him up. DO NOT PICK HIM UP! She was taken aback, so I laughed it off saying he was a rental, and I didn't get the extra insurance, so I'll have to "drive."

I like Rosieteddy's outside idea. Too bad the weather around here isn't nice more often where I could rely on that trick. It may work sometimes though. What about at pick-up time? Is it weird or awkward when the other parents come in to pick-up and intros need to be made? Some of my kids are horrible for mom and dad, and I'm not sure I would want the new parents to witness that!

I think I may just go start saying no and looking at them like they are insane for even asking. I can always blame it on the state.

[Blackcat31]

That's an excellent response! I am going to write that down and have it ready by the phone for the next time this request happens. Do you also have a polite, kosher response to the family (like the one that's coming today) that thinks their baby needs to "get to know me before their first day?" I interviewed this mom while she was preggo, baby was born in Feb, and starts at the end of May. It's a nice thought, but honestly has no bearing on her first day when she is only 3 months old.

"Your baby will have plenty of time to get to me when I care for her. I offer a two week trial period so that we can get to know each other as clients and in the provider-child relationship"

[Shell]

I've had a few parents in the past few years that have wanted to do this as well, and I also find it to be annoying, and yes, these have been the parents that think I work for them.

All I can say is that with each one of these families it hasn't worked out: 1 changed their mind last minute when their center back pedaled in order to keep them on, 2 I decided wouldn't work and told them so, and 1 I took on and later termed.

[Meeko]

Daycare "observations" are a pedophile's dream situation.
I wish that was just my opinion.

Never, ever again.