Sensitive Topic: Terming a DCK with special needs

[Blackcat31]

And sometimes this is the only solution. But that's why I say, bring it to the parents. A parent who feels like their child is being excluded from a program (especially one they've come to love) can get really upset. I've seen it happen. Problem solving conversations can be really helpful and prevent a situation becoming negative.

Spedmommy4 (forgot to login)

[Shell]

These parents disgust me. I have a son with Autism and I quit my job in management to be home for all of his therapy in the day. I worked nights and weekends for years to do this for my son. I was climbing the ladder, in what was a career, really fast and I gave that , and the money, up to do what was best for T. I can't believe how selfish some parents are.

Monkey Toes

I could be wrong, but it seems the parents are in denial or are purposely ignoring their child's needs. Potty training a two year old that can't walk?!!:confused:
I get parents want their special needs child in a "typical" environment, but they need to be a part of it and not pawn it off on the provider.

OP, I think you have great advice from pp's that know more about the laws than I do, but you've done so much for this child. What they are asking of you is above and beyond, and requires a 1:1 aide.

[spinnymarie]

ITA - I wouldn't tell them it's not the right fit anymore, but I would tell them all the things I can no longer do: potty-training, therapy on your clock. And if that doesn't push them to find someone else I'd bring up the need for a one-on-one aide at their expense.

[nannyde]

I have never come across a single case where the DOJ (Department of Justice) has sued a home child care for refusing a child with special needs.

You have to have a group of clients that can pay a percentage of the care of the special needs child. If you only have eight parents paying the amount of money to cover the labor portion of the care of the child would cause the eight parents to just switch child care. If he needs therapy work by the provider and one to one care for activities and toilet training it takes TIME and time is money. If that time can't be compensated by the parents of the daycare, the provider can't do it. The doj doesn't expect the provider to do the special needs care for free.

[kitykids3]

I had a similar situation not too long ago but not to the extent of yours. I had a child that had some developmental issues and some autistic tendencies. They had one of the weekly therapy sessions at home and then the other at my place every week. He also needed a special mat and cushion for his chair, was not trained for the bathroom (despite being 2, but couldn't even communicate to be able to be toilet trained). Therapist wanted me to do special exercises with him which I rarely had time to do. I was given suggestions of making up picture cards and picture schedule (which I don't have time to do) etc. to help him communicate cuz he rarely listened/understood and couldn't talk. He was in his own world 99% of the time. It got to the point I couldn't handle it anymore, especially his outbursts and not being able to communicate. When the therapist came every week (which by the way he was only here 2 days a week) it was such a disruption cuz all the other kids wanted to play with her. Him being here was a disruption cuz he needed help and guidance with every single thing and would have screaming outbursts every day. He took so much one on one time that I realized it was affecting the quality of the care the other kids got so I knew I had to let him go. I was trying to find a way to do it, but then they asked if they could add a day and that was my opportunity - 'sorry but I can't add another day. I don't have the room'.

One day I had to call dad to pick him up because he had been screaming for an hour and it's in policies to send any kid home when doing that. He wasn't happy about that but I explained I can't have that here or his outbursts multiple times every day. Then he started a conversation on what I need to help him and we tried for a while. Still was to the point that I did not have the time for the extra attention he needed one on one or money to hire an assistant for him.

I don't personally think you need to (or should) list the things you can't do for him. Like many of us, just give a letter that says you can no longer care for him as such and such a date. If you list reasons and they have to do with accommodating his special needs, they may use that against you, so I would recommend not doing that. Have you tried having a conversation with them, tell them it is their responsibility to schedule (they are the parents) and have therapy at their place and that you can't provide sign language and you won't potty train their child as per your regular policies because he just isn't ready to, and that you can't teach sign language because you don't even know it?

Tell them what you can provide and what you can't regarding their requests and then let them decide what they want to do. If they stay but still request things such as that, then unfortunately you have to let go. It took me a while to get to that point but I had to ask myself and realize it just wasn't getting better enough and it wasn't fair to the other kids/families. You've got to look out for the group.:hug:

[Rockgirl]

Our licensing reps have told us we can say, "I do not have the staff for that."