How Do You Handle Your Own Children During Tours?

[NillaWafers]

I am just starting out, but I have a lot of experience in childcare (as a nanny, mother, and summer camp counselor). I have been doing a LOT of tours, but absolutely no bites. I have a waiting list that stretches to Nov for infants, and nothing else.

One of the things I think that is deterring potential families are my own children. My eldest son can be a bit wild, especially when new people are over. How do your own children (who are in your own daycare also) react to tours? Do you send them to their room? I am certain that he would definitely fight me on that (as he is 4). I have tried bribing to induce good behavior and it hasn't really worked. He is quite likely ADHD as I am too, but 4 is too young for diagnoses.

I've had my license since Feb, and I know many of you have said that it can take a while to get kids in. I live in the LA area, prices are quite high here, I just lowered mine and made my hours longer (with the intention of eventually reducing them). I suppose I am just being impatient, I really want to get started - but just can't seem to get the people in

[Thriftylady]

Does he have an activity or toy he loves? Is there one he wants badly? If so give him that and make it special he can only play with it during tours and ONLY if he behaves with it.

[NillaWafers]

Does he have an activity or toy he loves? Is there one he wants badly? If so give him that and make it special he can only play with it during tours and ONLY if he behaves with it.

His attention span is much too short, and the arrival of new people is so exciting to him that is overrides anything I could possibly give him (I've tried his kindle, a new toy that he picked out at the store ect, these are things he doesn't get often). Tours are short fortunately. I just don't want to have to push them all towards 6pm so that my hubby may watch him, that's when we typically have dinner ect so I would be pushing family time back.

Having a kid like myself is so frustrating haha.

[Thriftylady]

Having a kid like myself is so frustrating haha.

That is so true my DD and I are so much alike. It gets easier as they get older to deal with, but it can be so hard when they are younger.

[FCCLife]

I deal with the same thing. My daughter is 4. My daycare kids follow her lead so if an inspector comes and she starts bouncing on the couch which she knows is a no no they all start jumping on the couch. Anything she knows she can't or shouldn't do she does when an inspector is here or my daycare parents. I try to always have a special activity or special toys that only come out for visitors. I have been told that it doesn't matter your child's behavior but how you handle it. Any client or inspector should expect this kind of behavior in my opinion. It is natural for children to "show off" for new people. Sorry if my mumbling was no help...I guess it was more to let you know you are not the only one.

[Controlled Chaos]

Luckily, my daycare is downstairs and family space is upstairs. I put on a TV program for my kids (its a treat). My 2 and 4 year old zombie out on the ouch and I carry my 18m old DD on my hip, unless she want to play with their child.

Would a TV show work? your DS could watch in the living room while you chat with parent in the kitchen?

Can you trade favors with a neighbor for the time it takes for a tour?

Maybe role play the behavior you would like. Greeting potential dc family, going to designated activity (set a timer) if he can make it the whole time give him a treat. Repeat. Seriously train him, extending the time for a treat each time.

[kendallina]

My own daughter, who is 6 now, used to hang on me during tours. One time she even sat in my lap and sang, "boobs, boobs, boobs" while tapping my boobs during a tour.

Now she usually watches tv in an upstairs room when I have tours.

[NillaWafers]

My own daughter, who is 6 now, used to hang on me during tours. One time she even sat in my lap and sang, "boobs, boobs, boobs" while tapping my boobs during a tour.

Now she usually watches tv in an upstairs room when I have tours.

I just LOLd. Thank you for that. At least he isn't singing 'Boobs boobs boobs" during my tours (just jumping off play structures and talking too much haha).

[Martha Stewart]

I used to let my kids just "do their thing" while i gave tours. Then, one day my son decided to literally hang from the ceiling from the molding around an archway, and swing. I didn't that job, realized that he may have been the reason ... and he's a good boy, just super high energy and was showing off. From that point forward, I would arrange for my children to go to grandma's house, a friend's house, or to a neighbor during interviews.

ETA: I also always did tours after hours, never when other people's children were in my care.

[Meeko]

I look at tours/interviews a bit differently than some.

I have always done tours after hours. Sure it cuts into family time a little bit, but it's not daily and is soooo much more relaxed for me. My youngest child is 18 now, but when they were young, they hung out with dad in our bedroom and watched TV with him. They (2 boys and 2 girls) loved that special time with him while I was doing interviews. Then we would order pizza for dinner afterwards. They actually liked it when I lined up an interview.

I believe that during the day, current parents are paying me to focus on their children and not talk shop with prospective clients.

I also feel that parents coming to look around deserve my complete and undivided attention. (There is nothing I hate worse than trying to have a conversation with someone who is obviously pre-occupied)

I do not want to go over business contracts and paperwork while trying to stop a two year old from licking my furniture and a baby from puking on me..... !!

For safety reasons, I do not allow adults to have contact with any child not their own and so tours during the day are just not even an option for me.

In the evening, I am cleanly dressed, calm and ready to have adult conversation. I can go over paperwork without having to jump up to stop a fight.

I won't take a family who wants to "see me in action". I have always found it ridiculous. Even the very worst provider is going to be "Mary Poppins" while being closely watched and normally good children will turn into problem kids with a stranger in the room. The parent doesn't get a real view of a real day in any shape or form.

If questioned, I explain to them that they may do a great at their job. But having a supervisor came and pull up a chair in their office and stare at them for an hour while they work will not truly show what kind of a job they are doing. It will just make them feel awkward. And the guy down the hall that is awful at his job.....will do great while being watched. So watching is useless.

Anyway...just my two cents worth about interviewing...... It sounds like you are stressed with your 4 year old being around during interviews. Would it be less stressful to give up a little family time and have him be with his dad?

[daycare]

i also only do them after hours for the first meeting.

I do very similar to how meeko does it. I see it from the standpoint that I am inviting a stranger into my house, for safety reasons, I don't do it while the kids are present.

I usually often meet with only the parents first. I get a good feel for them and if we both think its still looking like a good fit, I invite them to come back to circle time.

My son is 7, but he is always a good boy during tours and he often helps me seal the deal. They are very impressed by his behavior. BUT trust me, he has his days, and that is when dad takes him to the room or to a special trip to fro-yo.......

[crazydaycarelady]

When my kids were younger I would do everything in my power to get them out of the house during a tour or have hubby watching them upstairs!

[AmyKidsCo]

I try to do them after hours also, so we can talk uninterrupted and so my husband will be in the house also. My children are sent upstairs or downstairs and told to stay there until I call them. When they were younger they'd be with one of the older ones or my husband.

[Alwaysgreener]

My dd plays with the kids depending on age. Then I will comment on how well they are getting along. If they fail to bring their kids or baby is to small or unborn, she will play in her room or hang on me. The last interview my dh left the room, so dd hung on me. She was sitting on my lap and then fell off, not something that would normally happen and surprised her, she cried and wouldnt stop. I had to go find my dh to take.
I say have the kids play, of they don't get along you will know right away.

[melilley]

I have a 2.5 year old ds who loves to show off during tours! If my dh is home and my ds starts to show off and get loud, I have my husband take him. I do like to introduce him to prospective parents, but when he starts showing off, it can be a little much... I think it's normal, they just like to show off in their own home. I too only do the first interview after hours.