The Aimless Wanderer

[Unregistered]

I have a 3 year old DCG who wanders aimlessly all day long. I cannot get her to sit and do an activity and it bothers me! She wanders in circles around the toys, bobbing her head back and forth singing or talking to herself. I am constantly saying, "Find a toy off the shelf to play with or I will find one for you." She ignores me and continues to wander in circles. If I get a rug out, put a toy/activity on the rug for her she either cries at the rug or sits and continues to talk or hum to herself. She will sit with other kids doing an activity and watch them play, but will refuse to play with. If I try to activity engage her, she recoils her body and turns away. If I get a craft out she just sits there and stares or watches other kids. If I so much as encourage her to try she runs away from the table all together. She also has many one-sided conversations with herself or when the other kids are having a conversation she will chime in with something completely off-topic and irrelevant. I'm having a really difficult time reading her or finding what to do with her…I want each of my kids under my care to thrive and grow which is maybe why it bothers me so much that she refuses to do much of anything

I have plenty of really open-ended and engaging toys - dollhouse, light table, sensory bean bin, Play-Doh, unit blocks, puzzles, sorting games, crafts GALORE, musical instruments…what more can I do?

[spedmommy4]

In order to know how to help her thrive in your program, you need to know what is causing the behavior.

Some things that you would need to know . . . Can she play with toys? If so, what are her favorites. If you know her favorites you can make sure you have a few out during free play. If not, you may need to model toy play with her. I'd a little one has no play skills, you start with simple cause and effect toys and work your way up to pretend play.

If she's actively avoiding craft activities, is it because she doesn't like groups or do textures bother her? Her parents may be able to give some insight on this.

If you talk to her parents and discover they have concerns about the behaviors and her development, you can refer them to the local school district. When a parent has concerns and requests an evaluation , (for 3-5 yr olds) the school district will assess a little one to see where they are. (And if they would benefit from services like speech, etc)

[Heidi]

Assuming she's new to your program, I think a sit-down with the parents is in order.

Ask a lot of questions about what kinds of activities she does at home. Maybe she has a lot of screen time.

Then, I would share my concerns. Something like "typically, children this age like to do x,y, and z. DCG spends a lot of time wandering around. Have you noticed this at home? Does it concern you?

If they say "well, she watches a lot of TV", you can address that. If they say "yeah, but we thought that was normal", you can tell them that it could just be her charming personality , or it could be a concern. Would they consider having her screened with the school district? It's free....

When I was reading this, I immediately saw autism. I am not diagnosing here, though. I just thought "that sounds like a child with autism or something similar".

But, it could also be a child who has a screen in front of her face 24/7 at home.

[nannyde]

Is she on a tablet at home?

[Unregistered]

I've had her since 2 months old. She was always a little "different" from the rest of the kids, but now that the kids are getting older (I've had the same group of kids for 3 years) I've noticed it more. While the other kids are learning to role play, complete puzzles by themselves, sit and build castles with blocks, recognize numbers and letters (though I would necessarily expect her to do this), enjoy coloring in coloring books or creating pretty elaborate and creative art projects during free art, having increasingly 'complex' and more in-depth conversations with their peers and to me....she just is not. Are my expectations too high?
I also watch another kid who is on the tablet A LOT at home, but I've been able to work with him to learn to enjoy toys. That child will also aimlessly wander too at times, but is still responsive at the same time too…the 3 year old DCG is just so different. I don't' know, it's really hard to explain. I know she has a tablet at home because I'll hear her say it under her breath.

[Heidi]

My take on it is that she should be assessed.

Red flags are:

-Failure to move along the continuum. Meaning, her play should be becoming more complex, as you described. She's not only behind her peers (which could just be her personality), but she shows no improvement with guidance.

-Talking or whispering to herself a lot.

She sounds very much like my BF's daughter at that age (she's now 17). Her diagnosis ended up being PDD-non specific. Although she showed many autistic traits, she did not have enough to be diagnosed "autistic". She's had a lot of therapy, has an average I.Q., but will most likely have some difficulty living completely independently. Biggest thing for her is that she CAN'T speak to people anymore. Only her mother and a few very close people. She started out with the "talking to herself" at 2 1/2 or so, and also speaking in the 3rd person (mostly to herself). By 4, she couldn't talk to anyone but mom, dad, and her sibs. Ironically, with them she is a motor-mouth.

[Unregistered]

Any chance a very active imagination and some imaginary friends she is choosing to interact with instead?

[Unregistered]

I'm not sure, when she does talk or sing to herself (and I can understand) it seems as if she's reciting scenes for movies or repeating the conversation between the other children in the room.

[daycare]

I'm not sure, when she does talk or sing to herself (and I can understand) it seems as if she's reciting scenes for movies or repeating the conversation between the other children in the room.

Echolalia?? My niece has it

She can't communctae with people but she can recite whole movies line for line word for word.

She does a lot of what your girl does too. Sings to self talks to self. EcT. But she also repeats everything you say like a parrot.

So if I asked her how are you today. She would repeat how are you today right back.

Sounds like something is going on.

[NightOwl]

She needs an assessment for sure. These are some strange behaviors. If it was something brand new, maybe not. But you said she'd been quirky since birth. My first thought is that she's on the spectrum.