Dads and Daycare Services

[jen]

i said, "i haven't researched it lately," but it used to be 1 in 4 girls by the time they were 18. i didn't mention boys or say that girls are the ONLY victims. if 40% of ALL children are abused by 18 - then 25% of girls seems about correct, if not LOW.

70% of abuse may be inflicted by a family member - again, not something i argued. who are the other 30% - i guarantee the majority is someone CLOSE to the child - not a stranger.

i don't know about the age being under 7 - again, not something i argued, but that only proves my point.

Yes, 25% is low; it is close to 33%.

My point was that it is ridiculous to believe that any man who enjoys working with children is a pedophile. There are male nurses, male kindergarten teachers, and male daycare providers. When we make assumptions, such as "let's face it, MOST men would not want to do daycare for a living" we are propagating an unfair stereo-type. I don't really know how most men feel, and I doubt you do either. Plus, it doesn't matter what MOST men want to do, it only matters what the individual wants to do and what they are good at! I've known PLENTY of men who make better parents than women.

We are at a point in history where gay men are marrying and having children, we have straight men who are raising children as single Dads, we have stay at home Dads and working Moms...don't you think it is time to stop with all the discrimination?

If a man were to say, "lets face it, most women don't want to work outside the home" most of us would raise holy heck! Let's not continue to support an unfair and quite frankly, ignorant stereo-type. It only serves to hurt everyone.

[QualiTcare]

Yes, 25% is low; it is close to 33%.

My point was that it is ridiculous to believe that any man who enjoys working with children is a pedophile. There are male nurses, male kindergarten teachers, and male daycare providers. When we make assumptions, such as "let's face it, MOST men would not want to do daycare for a living" we are propagating an unfair stereo-type. I don't really know how most men feel, and I doubt you do either. Plus, it doesn't matter what MOST men want to do, it only matters what the individual wants to do and what they are good at! I've known PLENTY of men who make better parents than women.

We are at a point in history where gay men are marrying and having children, we have straight men who are raising children as single Dads, we have stay at home Dads and working Moms...don't you think it is time to stop with all the discrimination?

If a man were to say, "lets face it, most women don't want to work outside the home" most of us would raise holy heck! Let's not continue to support an unfair and quite frankly, ignorant stereo-type. It only serves to hurt everyone.

my PERSONAL point wasn't that "i believe ANY man who enjoys working with children is a pedophile." i don't believe that so i didn't say that.

my point was that PARENTS as a whole - including and especially women who have been abused (which we've established is nearly 1/3) ARE going to have a flag raised. isn't that what i said? not to mention, that the population i assume to be "most" men who have no desire to do daycare as a profession would also be skeptical. we can assume that many men have a desire to do daycare and they aren't actually doing it. based on the number of men who do daycare, and the reactions i got from men regarding a male working at daycare, MY opinion is that MOST men don't want to do daycare for a living.

i had several parents (men and women, but actually mostly men) make comments to me all the time about my male co-worker at the daycare. they thought it was weird (to put it nicely). i was friends with the guy outside of work. he was good with the kids. that's not the point.

we're not talking about single dads or gay couples. that has nothing to do with anything.

lastly, i advised the guy to go for it. if anyone has a problem with it (and some people WILL) then they won't choose his daycare - it's simple.

[daycaredad]

We are at a point in history where gay men are marrying and having children, we have straight men who are raising children as single Dads, we have stay at home Dads and working Moms...don't you think it is time to stop with all the discrimination?

If a man were to say, "lets face it, most women don't want to work outside the home" most of us would raise holy heck! Let's not continue to support an unfair and quite frankly, ignorant stereo-type. It only serves to hurt everyone.

Bravo. I am glad this thread took the turn that it did and showed me exactly what may be registering from both sides. I think 21st century idealism has a strong impression here, especially on the younger generation. While I am 36 and a product of the Reagan era, I think liberal, open minds will prevail. We are located in a metropolis and hopefully the numbers games will win out. We will advertise as a couple. I think the "bait-and-switch" approach would not sit well with me and our goals. I am the father of 4 well-adjusted children; I think my like resume will come through just fine and we are going to go for it.

Remember someone once said, "“Not to mince words, Sir, but we don’t like your boys’ sound. Groups are out; four-piece groups with guitars particularly are finished.”

That group? The Beatles.

[daycaredad]

i had several parents (men and women, but actually mostly men) make comments to me all the time about my male co-worker at the daycare. they thought it was weird (to put it nicely). i was friends with the guy outside of work. he was good with the kids. that's not the point.

I feel that male workers as opposed to owner/operator may have a different glossiness to it when viewed on by father. While i totally agree that most men don't choose child care as a career path, many of them are small-business owner's and entrepreneurs.

There also may be value in the fact that we have lived in our home for almost 10 years and that we are well established and grounded in the community.

I can not agree with you enough about what some would think if I took a position at a day care center as a provider. I mean, when you look at me, you see a man, football crew cut, 18" arms, and shoulders that can carry his 4 kids at once. Who knows what people will think of me? I may shave my goatee and cover up tattoo of Jesus and the Virgin Mary, but other than that, I am not changing.

[LaLa714]

My husband has worked with me full-time for 13 years. We have always been full and are licensed for 14 children.

Where in the world are you located? Is this a center???


I would have taken my kids to a daycare with a "dad"!

[Little People]

I feel that male workers as opposed to owner/operator may have a different glossiness to it when viewed on by father. While i totally agree that most men don't choose child care as a career path, many of them are small-business owner's and entrepreneurs.

There also may be value in the fact that we have lived in our home for almost 10 years and that we are well established and grounded in the community.

I can not agree with you enough about what some would think if I took a position at a day care center as a provider. I mean, when you look at me, you see a man, football crew cut, 18" arms, and shoulders that can carry his 4 kids at once. Who knows what people will think of me? I may shave my goatee and cover up tattoo of Jesus and the Virgin Mary, but other than that, I am not changing.

Daycaredad; I think what your doing is WONDERFUL!! First, I would not change ONE thing about yourself!! Do you think a daycare mom that has dyed her hair, would change it back so a DCP would not judge her? haha
Covering your tattoo...WHY?? I have a butterfly tattoo on my leg and in the summer I wear shorts and I do not cover it up.

When I was in Utah (son in law in the AF) there were 7 dads on base (moms overseas) and they were childcare providers in their homes. MANY MANY women used them and they always had waiting lists. One of the great things about these daycare dads was, that many Military dads were overseas and the moms were left to be both parents and these 7 daycare days filled a void in many children's life. They could be that father figure for the Militay dad that was overseas. I had the pleasure of spending the day with one daycare day and let me tell you HE WAS AS GOOD AS PROVIDER as I am. I learned some great things from him.

Good Luck in your new position as a provider!!

[Blackcat31]

Thinking back to when my own two children were young, I used two different babysitters if and when my DH and I got a night out alone. One was a teen girl and the kids loved her because she always brought them little trinkets and stuff but we had another who was a neighbor boy and was a good kid so we asked if he would ever be interested in babysitting for some extra cash, he said yes and I have to say my children LOVED him. They always requested him first and he was absolutely the best sitter I have ever had. The house was sometimes messy but my kids told me that he played with them...like on the floor, in the middle, sleeves up, played with them. He didn't supervise them, he palyed with them. He made up games, he took them outside, he pulled them on sleds and pushed them on teh swings, he built sand castles and made tons of messes with them. I asked them what the other sitter did and they said talked on the phone and put movies in for them. I am NOT saying teen girls aren't good sitters I am only telling the great experience we had with a male sitter vs a female sitter.

A few years ago, our local high school offered an early childhood class and sent the kids out into the public sector and had the kids work as volunteers in local child cares. 99% of the students in this class were girls but there was one boy. The teacher called me and said that three other providers declined having him come into their homes because he was male...I jumped at the chance to have a male in my business...He turned out to be the most fun the kids have ever had!!!! He is now a 3rd year college student and when he is back in town, he always stops and visits, and he sends little things he finds now and then that he thinks the kids would like to the daycare. (Last week we got a board game from him) I am so glad we had that opportunity and I feel like more people should take an open mind way of thinking and include men in all aspects of life! Women are always looking for equal rights/treatment but men don't always get it either...it is sad...men have a lot to offer young children and should always be welcome in the field. Good Luck to you and never back down!!

[QualiTcare]

I feel that male workers as opposed to owner/operator may have a different glossiness to it when viewed on by father. While i totally agree that most men don't choose child care as a career path, many of them are small-business owner's and entrepreneurs.

There also may be value in the fact that we have lived in our home for almost 10 years and that we are well established and grounded in the community.

I can not agree with you enough about what some would think if I took a position at a day care center as a provider. I mean, when you look at me, you see a man, football crew cut, 18" arms, and shoulders that can carry his 4 kids at once. Who knows what people will think of me? I may shave my goatee and cover up tattoo of Jesus and the Virgin Mary, but other than that, I am not changing.

i don't think you should change. in fact, i said go for it - why wouldn't you? once again, the people who have an issue with a male provider simply won't choose your services. the ones who don't have an issue will - as with any business.

btw, i have a "young, liberal, open mind" enough so that i realize the group of female childcare providers you "polled" are not representative of the daycare parent population. i would be curious about the feedback you would get if you asked the question on a predominately male forum, or just a non-daycare related forum, "would you send your child to a home daycare with a male caregiver?" i could be wrong, but i'd be willing to bet the responses would not be the same as the ones you received here.

i'm not personally against males working in the profession. i just know enough to know that there are LOTS of people who ARE.

[daycaredad]

Where in the world are you located? Is this a center???


I would have taken my kids to a daycare with a "dad"!

This will be a large family day care in our home in suburbs of Albany, NY.
Thank you for your vote of confidence.

[daycaredad]

And Away we go....

I am very happy to say that things are in full swing. I am working on the construction while wife attacks all the other minutia of red tape.
Regardless, we are very excited to be moving forward. Updated my profile to add some pics of the family.

Hope the New Year is finding everyone well.

Best,
Day Care Dad, Rich

[lvt77]

Greetings all...
The corporate world had beaten my wife and I to our knees and we have searched high and low...and within, and we have concluded that we would like to start our own day care facility here in our home. I am able to convert the available space and add more since I am a contractor as well.

We are parents of 4 children, ages 13, 6, 5, and 2, and we have been exposed to daycare centers, home facilities and just about everything else in between since we became parents in 1998.

While we are quite aware of the stringent guidelines, red tape, and over head that will come with such an undertaking, I think our biggest concern is...well...me.

Let's face it...I am a man and this is an industry that is dominated by female providers, teachers, and owners. While I am an upstanding citizen with a squeaky clean past and an active volunteer in the community from little league on down to food drives and a devoted father of 4.....I am still a man.

Is there an inherited stigma that comes with a male being involved with the day care daily business? Will this hurt enrollment due to prior conceived notions and prejudgment?


Are there any other father/men who can chime in here? Any female providers with opinions on this?

Thank you for your input and time.

I have been in school for almost 2 years and the amount of men getting into this field has really gone up...I think it is great. Think about this..
When there is usually an absent parent it is usually the dad____________not trying to be rude, but it's true most of the time....
You may be the only male figure in this child's life and just might be what this child needs to feel whole and secure..
When my son who is now 15 went to preschool, he had no dad at home. He did not mesh well with the female staff, but then found a best friend in one of the male staff members. Guess what, to this day they are still friends. The staff member is actually going to let him stay at his house this summer to take him to visit college campus....
I think this is a great thing that you are doing...There is someone for everyone.....
Best of luck to the both of you..

[mugglegirl]

My ex-husband has come to live with me and my kids (only the oldest of which is his), in a roommate-type situation. He's become disabled so he moved in here so we could help each other out. He helps with the bills. He's not so disabled that he's unable to help me with the daycare, though and does often. I'm even thinking about expanding and applying to be licensed for more kids, now that I have a permanent assistant available.

Anyway, I haven't had any negative feedback about him being here and some of parents really appreciate that he's here in the afternoons when I do my bus runs to the schools.

[lvt77]

I don't understand why people are so weird about men in child care?
My husband who is a paramedic and works as nurse at a local hospital is here a few days a week. I wanted to go to the doctors one day and was going to go while the kids were sleeping...My husband is the only person I know here in CA that is able to be left alone with the kids....So three of my familys said NO...and all three families have been here over a year and know my husband well....Looks like I am going to die at this rate........

[Crystal]

Where in the world are you located? Is this a center???


I would have taken my kids to a daycare with a "dad"!

I'm in California and I'm a child care home.

My husband has been a real asset to my program. He has been Dad to many, and a blessing to those children. We have had many FATHERS choose our program because they like the idea that there will be another positive male influence in their child's life. He teaches all of the kids (that want to) how to play football, basketball, baseball. Etc.

This summer, one of our first families moved on. They were with us for 12 years. When they started, Mom was single and raising her son alone. Dad was basically absent, except to harass the Mom. My husband was there for this boy through everything. He bacame part of our extended family, camping, hiking, biking and vacationing with us. Last year Mom married and this year at almost 13 years old, it was time for them to move on. Mom and son both cried their eyes out and, as always, expressed how much they love both of us, and Mom thanked my husband for being the Dad that she couldn't give her son. Of course, he still does lots with us, but I know that my husband had a HUGE impact on his life and will always be an important father figure to him.

Dads in daycare ROCK!!!!