Oppositional Disorder?

[Michelle]

I just had a question
Does anyone know what oppositional disorder is?
In your opinion, is it real?
I have an 8 year old boy who's mom says he has this and this kid is so extremely defiant, try's to teach the little kids cuss word songs and likes to wrestle other kids down to the ground to get a toy he wants.
Of course I discipline appropriately and when I tell the mom about it she has this look on her face likes she's been through this thousands of times and then says " well, he does have oppositional disorder"
When I tell him I will be talking to his mom he just says " go ahead" and then laughs
I am so done with this and I plan on terming but what do I do for the next 2 weeks?
:confused:

[sharlan]

IMHO, immediate term.

We as providers are not trained to deal with this child's issues. Sounds like dcm believes the "boys will be boys" theory and doesn't try to work with him.

You cannot risk injury to another child.

[finsup]

That's a really hard kiddo to work with if you continue with him, I'd ask mom for resources on how to work with him. If the school has a behavior plan or IEP that you could know about/be a part of. She def should just shrug it off as "well he does have odd." If DCM won't give you information on it or how they handle it at home/school etc I would def term. If they do...I don't know...with little ones, that would be hard. But that all depends on your comfort level.

Oh! I didn't see the part about terming in the next 2 weeks...in that case, try the best you can to control it? Or call for pick up anytime he starts causing problems? It may be one of those times an immediate term is nessacary

[Ariana]

I have definiteky hear of this diagnoses before but in my experience it's a lack of boundaries and limits at home that causes it. Not some inherent brain defect. Parents these days just never ever want to hear their kids cry so they are raising agressive out of control kids.

Best of luck in the next two weeks!

[Michelle]

I have been trying to keep him separated from the little kids as much as possible and the big kids don't want to play with him at all
I just have him as my buddy so that I can always see what he is doing and saying and so that he is not alone but this is so tiring
I can't wait for these two weeks are up
I worry about his future, I read that they have have a real problem with authority and what's going to happen when he encounters the police.
sigh, I guess his mom needs to get a reality check and
My dh says he needs a very good strong male model which he has really tried to be but this kid just spits in his face and has tried to run off when in public

I am just wondering if he can really help it though :confused:
Is it a real brain disorder or chemical imbalance?
My honest opinion is lack of discipline
I don't want to give up on him but I know I have to for the protection of all the other kids

[Michelle]

Ariana, we were typing at the same time
I totally agree with you
I don't think this "disorder" was ever heard of in the the 1950's

[Annalee]

Ariana, we were typing at the same time
I totally agree with you
I don't think this "disorder" was ever heard of in the the 1950's

I also feel structure/routine with boundaries goes a long way. I have a special needs nephew and his parents expect good behavior. He has choices and consequences. He is now 18 with the mind of a 4 yr old, so without teaching/expectations, his physical stature could innocently hurt someone. Until the parents are on board working together the particular situation posted will not get better. I would term for the parents not being on board, not for the child's behavior. I feel his behavior will get better with both parties working together. I have termed for this same reason a few years back. The parents would NOT work with me! Good luck!

[jenboo]

I have been trying to keep him separated from the little kids as much as possible and the big kids don't want to play with him at all
I just have him as my buddy so that I can always see what he is doing and saying and so that he is not alone but this is so tiring
I can't wait for these two weeks are up
I worry about his future, I read that they have have a real problem with authority and what's going to happen when he encounters the police.
sigh, I guess his mom needs to get a reality check and
My dh says he needs a very good strong male model which he has really tried to be but this kid just spits in his face and has tried to run off when in public

I am just wondering if he can really help it though :confused:
Is it a real brain disorder or chemical imbalance?
My honest opinion is lack of discipline
I don't want to give up on him but I know I have to for the protection of all the other kids

does he have an official diagnosis from the dr? just curious. I have earned about this disorder. If you cannot accommodate him, then term immediately for the safety of the other children.

[Second Home]

If any child was a danger to others it would be an immediate term .
I have had to do it in the past and it was not easy , I kept the child as long as I possibly could but when he tried to hurt a 2 yr old right in front of me and then laugh when I asked him why I knew it was time to part ways .

[Blackcat31]

I just had a question
Does anyone know what oppositional disorder is?
In your opinion, is it real?
I have an 8 year old boy who's mom says he has this and this kid is so extremely defiant, try's to teach the little kids cuss word songs and likes to wrestle other kids down to the ground to get a toy he wants.
Of course I discipline appropriately and when I tell the mom about it she has this look on her face likes she's been through this thousands of times and then says " well, he does have oppositional disorder"
When I tell him I will be talking to his mom he just says " go ahead" and then laughs
I am so done with this and I plan on terming but what do I do for the next 2 weeks? :confused:

Call mom for pick up every time he has an incident.

If mom says he has this, then she can't possibly expect you to manage it.

I'd call her and tell her he needs to be picked up every time he is disrespectful and/or behaving badly. Especially the cuss word stuff.

[Annalee]

Call mom for pick up every time he has an incident.

If mom says he has this, then she can't possibly expect you to manage it.

I'd call her and tell her he needs to be picked up every time he is disrespectful and/or behaving badly. Especially the cuss word stuff.

I agree. The cussing is what I had to deal with along with the birdie finger. When mom informed me the birdie finger was a knife instead of a birdie and laughed loudly, I termed!

[Blackcat31]

I agree. The cussing is what I had to deal with along with the birdie finger. When mom informed me the birdie finger was a knife instead of a birdie and laughed loudly, I termed!

......because knives and/or pretending to have a knife is more acceptable at daycare than the birdie?!?!?

SMH.

[Leigh]

I just had a question
Does anyone know what oppositional disorder is?
In your opinion, is it real?
I have an 8 year old boy who's mom says he has this and this kid is so extremely defiant, try's to teach the little kids cuss word songs and likes to wrestle other kids down to the ground to get a toy he wants.
Of course I discipline appropriately and when I tell the mom about it she has this look on her face likes she's been through this thousands of times and then says " well, he does have oppositional disorder"
When I tell him I will be talking to his mom he just says " go ahead" and then laughs
I am so done with this and I plan on terming but what do I do for the next 2 weeks?
:confused:

Very real. I would term without 2 weeks notice. Been there. Never again. I start shaking when I read or hear ODD anymore (flashbacks! :.

[Leigh]

I have been trying to keep him separated from the little kids as much as possible and the big kids don't want to play with him at all
I just have him as my buddy so that I can always see what he is doing and saying and so that he is not alone but this is so tiring
I can't wait for these two weeks are up
I worry about his future, I read that they have have a real problem with authority and what's going to happen when he encounters the police.
sigh, I guess his mom needs to get a reality check and
My dh says he needs a very good strong male model which he has really tried to be but this kid just spits in his face and has tried to run off when in public

I am just wondering if he can really help it though :confused:
Is it a real brain disorder or chemical imbalance?
My honest opinion is lack of discipline
I don't want to give up on him but I know I have to for the protection of all the other kids

The two kids I knew with ODD had:

2 parents each had a long list of mental and social disorders
history of neglect
history and current abuse
removal from home
ADHD
attachment issues
in utero and post-birth exposure to drugs, alcohol, and violence

It's hard to say exactly what the cause is, but there appears to be no cure, IMO. These kids are impossible.

[Meyou]

Yes, I do believe it's a legitimate condition. However, unless you have a diagnosis and a treatment/behavioral plan from his psychiatrist I would assume Mom was full of it and do as Blackcat suggested.

He should be in therapy and you should have a number of strategies to deal with his behavior. I've had one boy with ODD and he has spent time as an inpatient in the psych ward of our children's hospital. It was and is a very serious situation and no caregiver should be expected to handle a child with ODD unless they have all the facts and resources available to the parents.