Crying without tears????

[blueskiesbutterflies]

I have this child who was my very first client. They follow the rules and have only been late once with their payment. Keep in mind that the dads father had just died that weekend. I understand that payment was the last thing on their mind. They did bring it to me the next day with the late fee and the child stayed out all week with them.

The child is 2 years old and a blanket baby. The blanket has to be in the hands at all times. For months now I have been very consistent with keeping the blanket put up. I just do not want everything dragging around these nasty little blankets tripping and falling over them all day. He knows to come in, put the blanket up, and wash his hands. He does that but then will stand in my face all morning and point to the blanket making all these crying sounds and with not a single tear. I ignore him and give positive attention to someone with good behavior but he continues to sniff and making crying sounds. Honestly, it is driving me crazy!

So here is what I deal with. Every morning he comes in crying without tears. Mom is so concerned and asks if the other kids do it. I am very honest with my parents and tell them the truth. I advise her that he wines, moans, groans, and makes all kinds of crying sounds without a single tear. Some days I can ignore it but some days it is hard. Still, he does not get the blanket! The other kids do not get their blanket and he is not getting his. I am thinking of emailing everyone and letting them know that blankets are no longer allowed due to negative behavior it presents to the other children.

Mom insists that he needs the blanket but I am sick of the behavior with it. I am so tired to hearing hours of crying over this silly thing. I know it is security but he has been here for a year! I am really at my end this morning and he has only been here for 30 min.

What to do?????

[Gemma]

I used to put up with it when I first started but not anymore! I tell parents right at interview: NOTHING comes in from home, other than the child, diapers and extra clothes!
I'm firm in my policy, I will Term if they try to push their way, and they know it!

ETA Parents need to understand that their child coming into a new Daycare, will have an easier transition and adjust to whatever new rules, if presented to him/her right from the start and kept consistent, they need to butt out!....it is disturbing to me, to see a parent pushing blankets, pacifier, comfort objects etc to a child who clearly does not need it!

[KidGrind]

No more blankets allowed on premises.

or

Put the blanket somewhere he just can’t point do it or stand by it.

[Unregistered]

I had this kid too.

I had this kid too! Hang in there he will grow out of it. Put the blanket in another room where he can't see it. Out of sight out of mind. Tell him to go play. If he needs his blanket give it to him but he has to lay down with it. Out of sight out of mine worked well for my dcb if he seen it in his funny he would take it out and carry it around I had to put it in my office and close the door. It worked he stopped asking for it and started playing with the other kids. The blanket is just a crutch he doesn't need it only during nap.

[Blackcat31]

I have this child who was my very first client. They follow the rules and have only been late once with their payment. Keep in mind that the dads father had just died that weekend. I understand that payment was the last thing on their mind. They did bring it to me the next day with the late fee and the child stayed out all week with them.

The child is 2 years old and a blanket baby. The blanket has to be in the hands at all times. For months now I have been very consistent with keeping the blanket put up. I just do not want everything dragging around these nasty little blankets tripping and falling over them all day. He knows to come in, put the blanket up, and wash his hands. He does that but then will stand in my face all morning and point to the blanket making all these crying sounds and with not a single tear. I ignore him and give positive attention to someone with good behavior but he continues to sniff and making crying sounds. Honestly, it is driving me crazy!

So here is what I deal with. Every morning he comes in crying without tears. Mom is so concerned and asks if the other kids do it. I am very honest with my parents and tell them the truth. I advise her that he wines, moans, groans, and makes all kinds of crying sounds without a single tear. Some days I can ignore it but some days it is hard. Still, he does not get the blanket! The other kids do not get their blanket and he is not getting his. I am thinking of emailing everyone and letting them know that blankets are no longer allowed due to negative behavior it presents to the other children.

Mom insists that he needs the blanket but I am sick of the behavior with it. I am so tired to hearing hours of crying over this silly thing. I know it is security but he has been here for a year! I am really at my end this morning and he has only been here for 30 min.

What to do?????

Since mom is INSISTENT that the child needs the blanket, here is what I would do.

Let mom know from now on that you will only allow her child to whine, "cry" and/or fuss over the blanket for NO longer than 60 minutes in the beginning of the day/morning.

If, after 60 minutes he has not calmed down and gotten into the swing of your day but is still focused and pointing at his blanket, call the mom and tell her he "needs" his blanket and he is really upset about not being able to have it.

Tell her that since she feels he "NEEDS" it, you do not want to deprive him of this need as that is cruel and unnecessary.

Tell her you wish you could let him have it as it's obvious that what she says is true...he NEEDS it.

Tell her policies simply do not allow you to give in though as group care requirements MUST meet sanitation and safety standards (having the blanket all day is not only gross but a safety hazard for tripping etc like you mentioned in your post)

Tell her that since you are bound by those rules you have no other alternative but to call her for pick up since you do not want to see her child suffer any emotional, mental or psychological fall out from being deprived of his blanket.

Since mom wants to make the blanket a "need" she thinks that concept gives her the power to say to you that her child CAN and should have his blanket at your house despite your rules.

If that is the route/argument she wants to use......USE it to YOUR advantage.

Make a HUGE deal about it. Focus on "NEED".

When you cannot provide for a child's needs, we call the parent so they can.

You cannot give the child the blanket he "needs" but his mother can so after 60 minutes EVERY.SINGLE.DAY I would call her for pick up.

I refuse to keep kids that have needs beyond my ability.


I bet within the week, she changes her tune and begins to help her child wean from his "needing" the blanket.

[blueskiesbutterflies]

I used to put up with it when I first started but not anymore! I tell parents right at interview: NOTHING comes in from home, other than the child, diapers and extra clothes!
I'm firm in my policy, I will Term if they try to push their way, and they know it!

ETA Parents need to understand that their child coming into a new Daycare, will have an easier transition and adjust to whatever new rules, if presented to him/her right from the start and kept consistent, they need to butt out!....it is disturbing to me, to see a parent pushing blankets, pacifier, comfort objects etc to a child who clearly does not need it!

[blueskiesbutterflies]

In the beginning last year, we did offer ithe child to sit one spot with the blanket but that child will in one spot all day without eating or drinking just so they can hold the blanket. I have never seen a child so attached to a blanket! I have taken child to potty and while on the potty I had my assistant put the blanket up where they did not know where it is nor see us move it. When other parents come in child will say "BEBE" and point to the infant room. I am very consistent with taking it and honestly, I do not even give it at nap for this child because we start all over with the screaming and crying and negative behavior. If the child sees me put it in the infant room or my office the child will stand by the door and kick it and scream to the top of his lungs! So, I had enough! I wrote everyone and said that there could be no blankets brought at all.

I had this kid too! Hang in there he will grow out of it. Put the blanket in another room where he can't see it. Out of sight out of mind. Tell him to go play. If he needs his blanket give it to him but he has to lay down with it. Out of sight out of mine worked well for my dcb if he seen it in his funny he would take it out and carry it around I had to put it in my office and close the door. It worked he stopped asking for it and started playing with the other kids. The blanket is just a crutch he doesn't need it only during nap.

[blueskiesbutterflies]

You are brilliant! I always love your answers to everything!

Since mom is INSISTENT that the child needs the blanket, here is what I would do.

Let mom know from now on that you will only allow her child to whine, "cry" and/or fuss over the blanket for NO longer than 60 minutes in the beginning of the day/morning.

If, after 60 minutes he has not calmed down and gotten into the swing of your day but is still focused and pointing at his blanket, call the mom and tell her he "needs" his blanket and he is really upset about not being able to have it.

Tell her that since she feels he "NEEDS" it, you do not want to deprive him of this need as that is cruel and unnecessary.

Tell her you wish you could let him have it as it's obvious that what she says is true...he NEEDS it.

Tell her policies simply do not allow you to give in though as group care requirements MUST meet sanitation and safety standards (having the blanket all day is not only gross but a safety hazard for tripping etc like you mentioned in your post)

Tell her that since you are bound by those rules you have no other alternative but to call her for pick up since you do not want to see her child suffer any emotional, mental or psychological fall out from being deprived of his blanket.

Since mom wants to make the blanket a "need" she thinks that concept gives her the power to say to you that her child CAN and should have his blanket at your house despite your rules.

If that is the route/argument she wants to use......USE it to YOUR advantage.

Make a HUGE deal about it. Focus on "NEED".

When you cannot provide for a child's needs, we call the parent so they can.

You cannot give the child the blanket he "needs" but his mother can so after 60 minutes EVERY.SINGLE.DAY I would call her for pick up.

I refuse to keep kids that have needs beyond my ability.


I bet within the week, she changes her tune and begins to help her child wean from his "needing" the blanket.