How do you handle kids that tell you No!

[Unregistered]

I have a three year old who constantly tells me and my assistant NO if we ask or tell him to do something. I am so tired of it and don't know who to handle it. He gets his way at home and tells his mom NO all the time too. I've addressed the issue with his mom but she doesn't care.

[Heidi]

First of all, I don't ask, I tell. I am the adult, they are not. I might say "please pass the salt", but if it's not a choice, I give a directive, not a request. My tone is pleasant, but it also relays that I expect compliance.

I've also been known to say "This is not a choice".

Whining or yelling is ignored long enough to get the task completed (and sometimes I help by gently leading through it physically), and then I say "thank you". If the whining or crying goes on beyond that point, they are led to a nice comfy spot where they can whine all they want, and get up when they're done.
I could not be more bored with the whole thing.

[Thriftylady]

I agree, we don't ask, we tell. Have learned that with my own kids. Instead of saying "will you do x?" I say "I need you to do X". And if they say no to that I offer a choice "well unless and until you do X, you will (or will not depending) be doing Y.".

[Unregistered]

First of all, I don't ask, I tell. I am the adult, they are not. I might say "please pass the salt", but if it's not a choice, I give a directive, not a request. My tone is pleasant, but it also relays that I expect compliance.

I've also been known to say "This is not a choice".

Whining or yelling is ignored long enough to get the task completed (and sometimes I help by gently leading through it physically), and then I say "thank you". If the whining or crying goes on beyond that point, they are led to a nice comfy spot where they can whine all they want, and get up when they're done.
I could not be more bored with the whole thing.

Me too!
'I wasn't asking' *smile*

I have a dcg that did this all the time. Drove me crazy! I just ended up giving him 2 choices that I liked. 'You can do as I say or you can sit on the wall until you do'

[Unregistered]

In 7 years, I haven't had too many defiant children, but I have had to term two "entitled" children that loved to tell me no. One lasted 3 days (he refused to do anything he was told to, then demanded I make him something different to eat and when I wouldn't told me to call his dad to bring him something. I told dad at the end of the day and he was mad at me for not calling! I told him then and there it wasn't a good fit!) The other told me no to everything, and was just overly defiant. His parents let him have his way at home, so as much as I tried to change his behavior here, after 4 weeks I threw in the towel.

[Blackcat31]

I have a three year old who constantly tells me and my assistant NO if we ask or tell him to do something. I am so tired of it and don't know who to handle it. He gets his way at home and tells his mom NO all the time too. I've addressed the issue with his mom but she doesn't care.

Kids are welcome and free to express their opinions.
However, they are still required to comply.

If I brought an issue up to a parent, I expect them to help brainstorm a solution.
If they don't care, they don't get services from me.

[Gemma]

Kids in my program, have no choice but to do as they're told, if they want to stay in my program!
I don't take talking back lightly! To keep kids safe I have to have their total respect and cooperation, so I would have that 3yr old sit, until either he does what I asked him, or mom comes to pick up.