Pissy Parent and the Poopy Playdoh

[Blackcat31]

Any time you allow a family to hold you financially hostage you are at their mercy.

I think there are lots of things you could probably do to make the situation easier for you, but at the same time it would be completely enabling this mother to be in charge.

I'm sorry but it's just not something I would be willing to put up with.

Not for ANY amount of money.

[laundrymom]

Any time you allow a family to hold you financially hostage you are at their mercy.

I think there are lots of things you could probably do to make the situation easier for you, but at the same time it would be completely enabling this mother to be in charge.

I'm sorry but it's just not something I would be willing to put up with.

Not for ANY amount of money.

I kno you're a single mom and it's hard. Been there myself but I would call your creditors. Let them know payments will be late because you are terminating care and tell them why. NO PERSON , other than dcm, will think this is ok. And the creditors will make notes in your file. Just get back to full pymnts asap and term this lady. Gives me the heebie jeebies thinking about everything she's touched at your home. I shudder thinking about HER HOME!!

[KiddieCahoots]

Yucky!
Keeping her because you need the money is totally understandable.....as long as you actually get paid.
If you are only going to get 75% from the state, your not even getting what you deserve....and then some....for this disgusting poop situation that you are having to deal with.
Doesn't sound like mom is going to change.
I'd get the footsie pj myself and just put her in it myself while in care.
And like pp, wouldn't provide care until payment was up to date.

[Unregistered]

I feel sorry for this child
I would want to help the child learn this is not ok...but I would want to term because of the parent.
I single too and know of the money issues....it is scarey
I have no answers for you
but I sure would not eat where she worked EVER ....
and I would not let this child touch a thing in and am tell washed ...ugh

[sharlan]

I would pick up a couple pair of the footie pj's at a local thrift store and change the child into them upon arrival every single morning. I would change her back into her clothes just before pick up. There is no way that I would tolerate that behavior from mother or child.

I would also wash the child's hands with antibacterial soap upon arrival every single day.

[CraftyMom]

I know you need the money, but you arent' even getting the full amount! I wouldn't want to deal with this, and especially not if mom isn't paying me. She works at a restaurant. I have worked in several restaurants and they do not pay monthly. Maybe she is talking about her monthly assistance check? I have never had a parent that get paid monthly, so the chances that she has TWO jobs that pay monthly are quite slim.

If you want to keep her, which it sounds like you do, then put your foot down! The poop thing is just gross and unsanitary and needs to stop. Her paying monthly needs to stop. That gives her the opportunity to skip out on you without paying you (even 25% makes a difference and you worked for it)

I would tell her effective immediately she needs to abide by the contract she signed and pay weekly.

Also, Dcg will be in backward pj's until she no longer digs in her diaper. Wash dcg's hands when she arrives with soap and water before she plays with anything.

[Gemma]

I would pick up a couple pair of the footie pj's at a local thrift store and change the child into them upon arrival every single morning. I would change her back into her clothes just before pick up. There is no way that I would tolerate that behavior from mother or child.

I would also wash the child's hands with antibacterial soap upon arrival every single day.

I would do just that!

[Angelsj]

"DCM, I feel like this daycare situation is not a good fit for either of us, so I am terminating care effective immediately".

Like!!!!!

[PitterPatter]

Update

Well DCM took offense to the suggestion of PJs, not even going into the convo here, and I can not afford to term. My gas bill alone for this month is $325. I struggle now pay check to pay check. I tried explaining to the Gas co but they don't care, they and the other utilities will just shut me off. Rent can be worked with a bit but not much. So here is what I have done.

The payments I told DCM that she can pay monthy but she will have to pay in advance and if there are any days she doesn't attend care I will credit her.
I bought 5 footed PJs. I don't tell DCM that I put them on her and she can't talk so she wont tell . I plan on leaving the PJs on her for a couple weeks then trying her normal clothing to see if she broke the habit. With warm weather coming she can't be running around in the yard like that, we have lots of passers by. So hoepfully she will stop. DCM and DCD said they haven't had any problems at home with it. I don't trust them so when she arrives I immediately take her to play in her own little basin of soapy water so that it gets under her nails in case anything is there. She is happy to soak/play with they toys in the "bubble" water We make a game of it find the yellow flower, find the green turtle... Working well for now. The other kids have another basin so everyone thinks we are just sharing a new activity.

Thank you everyone for all the suggestions and advise!

[Blackcat31]

Well DCM took offense to the suggestion of PJs, not even going into the convo here, and I can not afford to term. My gas bill alone for this month is $325. I struggle now pay check to pay check. I tried explaining to the Gas co but they don't care, they and the other utilities will just shut me off. Rent can be worked with a bit but not much. So here is what I have done.

The payments I told DCM that she can pay monthy but she will have to pay in advance and if there are any days she doesn't attend care I will credit her.
I bought 5 footed PJs. I don't tell DCM that I put them on her and she can't talk so she wont tell lol. I plan on leaving the PJs on her for a couple weeks then trying her normal clothing to see if she broke the habit. With warm weather coming she can't be running around in the yard like that, we have lots of passers by. So hoepfully she will stop. DCM and DCD said they haven't had any problems at home with it. I don't trust them so when she arrives I immediately take her to play in her own little basin of soapy water so that it gets under her nails in case anything is there. She is happy to soak/play with they toys in the "bubble" water We make a game of it find the yellow flower, find the green turtle... Working well for now. The other kids have another basin so everyone thinks we are just sharing a new activity.

Thank you everyone for all the suggestions and advise!

I'm sorry but that is a dangerous thing to do.

Doing something with a child (especially when a parent directly said no) without the parents permission can eventually cost you more than just losing the family.

I understand and sympathize with you about needing the income but I can't condone a provider going directly against a parents wishes just because you cant afford to term.

Actions like that always start out with the best intentions and usually up badly.

I'm sorry you feel you are between a rock and a hard place but please reconsider.

Parents can be very vindictive. Especially those who feel you have no respect for them or their parenting wishes.

This is their child and they have every right to say yes or no to certain things and you have every right to say you cannot meet that need but I don't think you have the right to just do it behind their back.

I'm sorry but it's just not okay.

[Rockgirl]

What about asking for the child to be dressed in a onesie with pants over it instead of the pjs?

[PitterPatter]

I'm sorry but that is a dangerous thing to do.

Doing something with a child (especially when a parent directly said no) without the parents permission can eventually cost you more than just losing the family.

I understand and sympathize with you about needing the income but I can't condone a provider going directly against a parents wishes just because you cant afford to term.

Actions like that always start out with the best intentions and usually up badly.

I'm sorry you feel you are between a rock and a hard place but please reconsider.

Parents can be very vindictive. Especially those who feel you have no respect for them or their parenting wishes.

This is their child and they have every right to say yes or no to certain things and you have every right to say you cannot meet that need but I don't think you have the right to just do it behind their back.

I'm sorry but it's just not okay.

The only reason she didn't want her in them is because she "shouldn't have to buy pajamas for daycare that's rediculous" I suggested 2nd hand Pjs and she flipped at the thought of her child wearing someone elses PJs then she went into all of her financial obligations which is where I hit her with what about the obligation to me for child care... So I thought before she can give another excuse I will buy them myself. I don't see how this could cause a problem if her complaint was buying them and I solved it. I should have suggested I purchase them but was too afraid she would have another excuse. She doesn't think poop is a big deal AT ALL, she thinks it's funny!. She has no respect for me or my home and I am only doing what I can to protect everyone even if it means slightly disrespecting her. As soon as I can get another child on board I will let her know about the PJs and if she doesn't approve she will be given notice. I thought I had covered all bases but in this situation I think it's impossible to have everything work out for everyone.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I couldn't even finish reading because it completely grossed me out. Tell the dcm she needs footed one piece pajamas one size up and the child needs to wear those backwards every day. This will also resolve the skinny jeans/pull up issue. If your contract stated that payment is due on Fridays then turn her away Monday morning if she doesn't have the payment with late charge.

This is exactly what I was going to say! In my state if they are
behind on co pay we notify the county and they send out a notice threatening their benefits.

[PitterPatter]

I'm sorry but that is a dangerous thing to do.

Doing something with a child (especially when a parent directly said no) without the parents permission can eventually cost you more than just losing the family.

I understand and sympathize with you about needing the income but I can't condone a provider going directly against a parents wishes just because you cant afford to term.

Actions like that always start out with the best intentions and usually up badly.

I'm sorry you feel you are between a rock and a hard place but please reconsider.

Parents can be very vindictive. Especially those who feel you have no respect for them or their parenting wishes.

This is their child and they have every right to say yes or no to certain things and you have every right to say you cannot meet that need but I don't think you have the right to just do it behind their back.

I'm sorry but it's just not okay.

Well I have not been able to stop thinking about this since I last replied. I hate being disrespected and now I have guilt for disrespecting someone else. I'm going to tell DCM that I have purchased some PJs and if she agrees to let her wear them then all will be fine. If not then I will give her a 2 weeks notice. I try so hard to keep everyone safe and happy and I feel bad for kids in certain positions but I have to worry about my other kids and my own family... I guess I'd rather be in collections than have anyone get sick from contamination or lose my license for going against parent's wishes. I thought I had done so well with all of the changes I made but I guess not. Thanks for putting that point of view in my head Cat. I took the Pjs off and just pray she doesn't pull anything out until I can talk to DCM and see where we go from here.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

Well I have not been able to stop thinking about this since I last replied. I hate being disrespected and now I have guilt for disrespecting someone else. I'm going to tell DCM that I have purchased some PJs and if she agrees to let her wear them then all will be fine. If not then I will give her a 2 weeks notice. I try so hard to keep everyone safe and happy and I feel bad for kids in certain positions but I have to worry about my other kids and my own family... I guess I'd rather be in collections than have anyone get sick from contamination or lose my license for going against parent's wishes. I thought I had done so well with all of the changes I made but I guess not. Thanks for putting that point of view in my head Cat. I took the Pjs off and just pray she doesn't pull anything out until I can talk to DCM and see where we go from here.

good luck. I will be praying for you.:hug: