Tired of Feeling Guilty

[Laura5287]

It's been a rough day. First I have been fighting some kind of bug and have been coughing like crazy and exhausted all week. I have worked all week.
Today, I posted about a parent wanting to start dropping off early and I told them no I wouldn't be taking them early as I didn't want my hours creeping up to 11 hours a day again. They didn't like it.
Later on today, I started feeling worse and decided that I need to take tomorrow off. Instead of waiting until the morning to call and tell them I thought it would be a good idea to tell them this afternoon so they find backup. We have always text each other with no problems. One of the parents text back right away saying they would work something out and hoped I would feel better. The parent of the boy who wanted to be dropped off still has not responded. I text both parents who usually will respond right away too. But, still nothing. I am finding it very rude. I am sure it is because of me standing my ground this morning. Just frustrated at this point and it probably is because I am not feeling well. Just once, I would like it if they would just be nice when I ask for a day for myself. And this isn't even a fun day. I don't ever take days off.

[Thriftylady]

Sorry you are struggling with this. Likely they are upset about it, but don't worry about it they can be upset if they want. I am sure they take off when they are sick.

[laundrymom]

Get some rest on your three day weekend and know that we have to stand up for ourselves. You did the right thing. You're sick. Not throwing a tantrum. Hugs and snuggles. Hope you are better soon.

[Laura5287]

I still didn't hear back from either parent. If they show up, the door is locked. Lights are off. I guess I could have called them but I can barely talk as it is. Oh well. My dr. once told me that I am the only person who can make myself feel guilty. I think because I have such a big heart and want to please everyone I tend to do things I don't want to. I will admit that I do have a hard time saying no. I am learning tho. I am learning that if I don't start standing my ground, I will no longer want to continue providing care and this is what I love to do. I have been in the business since my daughter was in first grade and she is now 21. Time to get with it! I guess I just gave myself a little pep talk!happyface

[Unregistered]

I'm really sensitive to how others are feeling, too. Unfortunately, our personality type attracts a lot of people with narcissistic tendencies; those who pout when we don't put them first. The best thing that we can do is detach from their reactions. The least bothered we seem, the less reinforcement they receive. Hope you feel better!

[Blackcat31]

I'm really sensitive to how others are feeling, too. Unfortunately, our personality type attracts a lot of people with narcissistic tendencies; those who pout when we don't put them first. The best thing that we can do is detach from their reactions. The least bothered we seem, the less reinforcement they receive. Hope you feel better!

This is important.

I've been in this business for over 20 years. I do NOT feel guilty taking time off, enforcing policies and/or asking for and getting my paycheck on time every time.

That part of the job for me is easy. Do I piss off, disappoint or upset some parents? Absolutely! But I don't care.

I am VERY clear with my policies and expectations from the very beginning and ANY TIME I get a little push back from parents, I simply stand my ground and remind them that THEY agreed to these policies and if they are unhappy about it, its on them NOT me.

I refuse to accept responsibility for making other people happy (other than my family/friends etc) and although I can be flexible and accommodating (when it works for me) I AM pretty straight forward with my clients and my business and they don't get that reinforcement so like a toddler, parents understand immediately that tactics (like guilt, complaining) don't work. That it is a non-issue for me.

You detach yourself from ANYTHING that is NOT your responsibility. Life is hard. No one gets a free ride so... it's up to us all to make it what we want it.

Oh, and contrary to what some providers that are "too nice" believe....your clients don't get mad when boundaries are clearly defined. They feel comfortable and respected and so do I. I have a great relationship with my families and I think it's because we both know our responsibilities and our expectations.

[Thriftylady]

I am also horrible at saying no and standing up for myself. It kills me, because I have no issue standing up for those I love, just myself. That is part of why I like these boards, they are teaching me how to do these things even if I still have a LONG way to go.

[Gemma]

Don't feel guilty, you need to take care of yourself, to proper care for the children!
This are the times you can really see who appreciates you, and who takes you for granted! ....blows my mind how selfish some people can be.

These are for you:hug::hug::hug::hug: