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Per my license requirements I am not allowed to use timeouts for any reason. I am to simply redirect, distract certain behaviors. This is exhausting and not really effective I don't think and frustrating for me. Any advice?
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Personally I wouldn't be able to do daycare if that was a rule. Hippy style imo. Exhausting.
I take things away as punishment a lot of times. Example: hitting someone with cars- no cars for the rest of the day; standing on the couch at tv time- no tv and no couch for the rest of the day.
running- walk back to where you started and walk back. -
I have never used time outs in my home daycare and when I used them in the centre where I used to work I found it very unaffective. Natural consequences was MUCH more effective for me. So basically a consequence that fits the "crime". Stop throwing the ball or you lose the ball....help clean up the toy or you will not be permitted to play with it tomorrow etc. I use this with my own kids too and it works really well and teaches the kids something. I find timeouts don't teach anything except that a kid will act better to avoid it rather than actually learning.
Of course this is all for kids 2 and over...or younger depending on the child. Young children and toddlers you will need to distract and redirect absolutely. At that age sending them to time out is a complete waste of time as their attention span is so short they will never know why they've been put in time out anyway.Comment
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Think about it this way.
What is the point of time out?
1. Its a negative consequence of a behavior.
2. It separates an aggressive child from the group.
3. It gives the provider time to breathe.
Those 3 goals of time out can be achieved with different consequences.
Example:
1. Child hits. Consequence: Child is separated from other children and given a puzzle at a table to play alone for a while. Child must earn getting to play with friends by demonstrating good listening and good choice making.
2. Child throws blocks. Consequence: Child loses the choice of blocks for the day.
With a child re directed in a new area. The provider can step back, breath and take their needed time out
That is when I refill me coffee.
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OR if you are a cheater, when I was in a center we called it "Time Away" and gave the child a book, in a chair, in a corner (facing towards the room/not the wall).
BUT I think the goals of time out can be achieved more effectively.Comment
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That's what I was thinking. We call it taking a break, or lets just sit and rest our brain for a moment.....
There is no one size fit all when it come to disciplining a child. Every child is different and therefore may respond differently.
I have dcks that will cry their eyes out if I were to use a firm tone and then some that if I don't talk to them like I would a dog, would walk all over me.
Getting to know the child is really what helps and then you are able to figure what will or what wont work for each child...Comment
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I have been a licensed daycare provider for about 25 years and just naturally almost never use time out. I pretty much always redirect or start a completely new activity - which technically is redirecting. You should be able to do it. I would say that if you have a child that you honestly can not redirect to anything without him/her still having problems on a consistent basis, then that child does not fit with your program and you should terminate him/her.
Are you concerned about not being able to redirect a particular child or are you simply not sure how you will do daycare without being able to use time out at all? If it's that the idea of not being allowed to use time out at all, I think that in a few days or so, you will be able to recognize when the children need to change the activities and will do so before you feel the need to use time out.Comment
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Ideally time out is a regrouping time, time to calm down, time to take a break-not a punishment. An above poster mentioned time away from the group with a puzzle-that's still a time out.
Children may need to snuggle in the book corner or the calm down cozy corner. There's also the term - time in. The child is still connected to the group, just off a little, away from the business of the group, but not isolated. He/she may need to connect with you after calming down with a pat on the back, hug, etc. kids need connection over isolation after things get out of control.
I know time out has fallen out of favor. It can easily be over used and then becomes
in-affective. Time out as a chill out, regroup method is needed at times-IMHO. I feel kids do learn from time outs. They learn boundaries, and rules, & to self monitor. Does it work for all children?-no.
Are there tons of other techniques-yes. Do we all need time outs-even adults? Sure. Can a Child snuggle with a stuffed animal or doll?- you bet! Hold a little car and play with it? You bet! I've seen kids put themselves in time-out.
Is the point of time out to make the child feel worse? No! Any management technique with the idea of making the child feel worse is not the goal. The goal is to help them manage their big emotions and regroup.
If a child is in time out even once a day other things need to be looked at. The child care schedule, is she tired or hungry? Stressors at home? Not feeling well? Do they need to get outside, toys rotated so there is a new selection, floor plan changed, etc. do they need some positive attention and connection from you.....And if course time out is only one minute per age.Comment
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They're always changing the rules on us.
I've never found time out to be a very effective tool anyways.
As Daycare said, different methods work for different kids.
I have 1 very challenging child who I've found responds better to consequences and losing privileges. Sometimes separation from the group works best. It all depends on the individual child and the infraction too.
I could use a suggestion on how to stop an under 2 yo from hitting though. I've been telling her you hit, you sit. And I sit her right down wherever she is, simply saying hitting hurts. She's not even there 20 seconds, then I have her go hug the hittee and say sorry. I try to intercept right before hitting happens and stroke the other child's arm(or something similar) saying 'be nice'. I'm not sure what else to do at this point or how long it'll take to sink in. She was doing so well for awhile and now she's right back to hitting. Course it seems like some days my group can be kinda rough. Who'd have thought it with all girls?
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I posted about time in and regrouping. I failed to mention I rarely have used time out over the years. Time out used as the only management technique fails miserably. Children do need boundaries, understanding, rules, consistency, and respectful care. There is a lot that goes into smoothly running a classroom or family center. We all need lots of tools to address children's behavior- not just one or two.Comment
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