Kids Communicating With Other DCK's Parents

[mduck]

How do you handle Dck communicating with other dck's parents? In my case it's my own kids as I only watch one. When it happened it totally floored me. As a side note, I know this person who used to work with children in the public and private school systems and during orientation she would say, "I promise to only believe half of what your children say happens at home if you'll promise to believe only half of what they say happens here." I really do believe this. Kids don't always tell the truth. They will tell their own version of it. When I first started caring for my dck, she had a very hard adjustment period. During that time I was really careful to help her feel welcome and safe. I constantly told my children to "be nice", "don't smother her" (she's a very cute baby and they wanted to love on her). So basically we did all we could to make things well for her and to treat her with kid gloves to help her adjust. Then when DCGM came to pick her up I let her know that she had a hard day. My 7 yr old then says,"It's because we weren't nice to her." I don't know if DCGM heard or not, but she didn't say anything to me and seemed normal and left with dck. I bout flipped out. I could not fathom why, WHY she would ever say such a thing. It was the farthest from the truth! I asked her why she said that and she just shrugged. I talked to my Dh about it and he said since I was saying (proactively) "be nice" and since dck had a hard day, she must have thought that they weren't nice enough maybe? Anyhow, I had a good long talk with her about ONLY mommy being the one to share about dck's day with her family.

THEN my other child misinterpreted another event but thankfully only to my husband. Dck played all day with my baby. Then just before pickup I got her up from nap but left my baby napping in bed. So dcf picked up. Then later during supper my 2nd child tells Dh, "dck wasn't allowed to play with baby today." :confused: Whaaaa? If I had been Dcf and heard her say this, I would have been like, "what happened?" Thankfully they weren't there and again I had to talk to my kids about only mommy being the one to talk to dcf simply because their version of the truth is a bit off.

Have any of you had any talks like this with your own kids or other dcks?

[Leigh]

I have a foster son who can NOT keep his mouth from moving 100 mph any time another adult (his favorite audience) is present. He has been told several times that he is not allowed to talk with the daycare parents because they are here to pick up their children and to talk to ME, and that they are not here to hear him give a monologue. It's tough for him to keep his mouth shut, but he has said some embarrassing things (like 1/4 truth, 3/4 embellishment), and I'm not giving him the opportunity any longer.

I had a SA DCG here one day who talked all day, when she got picked up, my foster son told DCM (in front of her daughter) that I didn't like her daughter because she talked too much (I had told my husband that the girl never stops talking but not that I hated her!)! That was the very last time that he was allowed to open his mouth at pick up! I still have to remind him from time to time, and it was hard at first to get him to keep his mouth closed at pickup, but it is much better now.

[Unregistered]

My son, 5, was doing the exact same thing and I am very careful to make sure he does not do it again. When my dcb just started, he was having a bad day ad crying quite a bit. When his mom came and picked up, we were chatting and my son just blurts, "Yea, he was cryig ALL day!" I was mortified, so we had a huge talk and I told him he needs to let me handle talking with the mommies about their babies and if he cannot do that, he will have to wait in the living room while they are being picked up. He is very sensitive, so the chance that he won't be a part of the pick up process and get to say bye and all that was reason enough for him to keep quiet He has done quite well and he will sometimes just tell me he needs to tell me something after the mommy leaves and then he is so proud he waited, even though what he usually says is harmless, but it is cute that he is trying so hard

[daycare]

I have this dck, he is just screaming for attention.. He has told some very TMI things to DCP and upset them. SO he knows the rule and i have no problem reminding him in front of parents.


My youngest who is 7 will sometimes jump in and say things. I have told him that similar to what PP mentioned. I know he does it, because he is the oldest and thinks he runs things around here sometimes. OR he Sees everything is another.

I just remind him, it's my job to talk to the parents, you need to go play. If i see him coming towards the door, I stop him in his tracks before he can speak. You need to go play or if it's last pick up, go get ready for dinner. Stop it before it even starts.

I try to look at it from my sons perspective and know that he just wants to feel important , useful, or able to be apart..... BUT it's annoying... Gotta love them..

[Neekie]

My kids have said some pretty embarrassing things, too. Some things they said could have gotten me in a huge amount of trouble. One time during pick-up my dd said. "Dcg got a spanking today!" I had no idea where that one came from and it certainly was not true. Dcg hadn't even needed to be
corrected at all that day and spankings did not occur at any time ever in my day care. And of course she said it right to dcm. Dd was six or seven at the time. I was just horrified. Dd had to go to her room at pick-up time after that.

[Annalee]

Before my assessment this year, my family and my brother's family were eating supper at the table. I was telling them all that this lady was going to watch me at daycare for several hours. My son speaks up and says "but mom, they will see how mean you are to those kids". I said "mean, what do I do that's mean?" He said, "you make them take a nap, you make them sit still in their chairs, etc.". I thought what if he said that to someone else and they didn't allow him to explain Kids tell it like it is, but sometimes those listening take it like they said it and it can really get muddy..

[Rockgirl]

My son (now 20) went through a stage when he was 6-7 of needing to put on a show for every parent that walked in the door. The only thing that worked was for about a week, every time a parent approached the door, he had to go to his room and close the door till they were gone. With dck's I've explained that dc parents are there to pick up their own child, and they are the ones who may approach them, show them things, etc, and that it will be their turn when their own parent comes in. It works for some kids....others need reminders.

[Meeko]

I don't allow a crowd at the door. When a parents arrives, their child is called out of the playroom.

Kids can and will say very unfortunate things. Art Linkletter even made a TV show around it!!! "Kids Say The Darndest Things!" It was hysterical, but had many of the kid's parents cringing in their seats!

My mother scolded me for whining in a crowded department store in London when I was about 3. She was mortified when in a very loud voice......I asked her not to put me in the fridge again. I don't remember saying it and my mother has no idea why I said it LOL!!!

I also embarrassed my parents when I was in elementary school. I was about 6. We had to write in our journals on Monday mornings and tell the teacher what went on over the weekend.

At Parent/teacher conference, my parents saw I had written "My dad slept on the couch last night" That was it.

I failed to add that we had a houseful of visitors from out of town that weekend. My brother and I slept with my mum so our rooms could be used by guests and my dad got the couch!!!!!!!!!! They said they always wondered what the teacher thought!!!

[Neekie]

My kids always used to tell people that we put them in the trunk of the car. That got a few raised eyebrows. They meant that they rode in the back of the station wagon in the third seat with seat belts on.

[Leigh]

Don't put me in the fridge again! ::::

My own 2 year old and I would race to get things that he didn't like doing done: picking up toys, getting dressed, etc. I'd tell him that I was going to beat him in cleaning up toys. One day in the store, he took off running and yelled "Mommy, don't beat me!". I was horrified.

[Unregistered]

I had an inspection a while back. Never had this worker before.
He asked me the name of each baby, but tried to "trick" me by asking if I was holding Xxxxx (the two month old) when I was holding Yyyyyyy (the ten month old).
Then he asked two preschool girls their names. These are two funny, imaginative girls. Without batting an eyelash, Anna said, "Kaylee!" And Melika said, "Sophie!"
The worker is looking at his list, looking at me, looking at the girls. He thought he had caught me at something.
So I waited a minute, and said, "Anna, you may choose a center. Melika, now you may choose a center."
They got up and chose their centers.
He got it.

Kids. They crack me up.

[mduck]

"Mommy don't beat me!" Im for real laughing out loud! Glad it's not just me.