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The last straw
I'm a mother of 3 with two little ones at home, 2 yrs and 6 months, and recently started watching a 15 month old at my home. This is my first experience running an "unlicensed daycare" out of my home. She's been with me for a month and a half, and I feel like I'm out of my mind. During the initial interview, her parents revealed she needed to he rocked to sleep at nap time, but they were eager to learn how to get her to fall asleep on her own and would be willing to work together towards that goal. They also revealed they might need a few hours on weekends occasionally, which I begrudgingly agreed to.
Since she's been here, her parents have made NO efforts to work on ANY type of sleep training method, even a "no cry" type. They don't even keep her evening sleeping on schedule and don't maintaun a bedtime routine. This takes 20-40 minutes if feeding her a warmed bottle, then vigorously standing and rocking to get her to sleep. If she wakes, she's up, unless I want to hold her while she sleeps an additional 30-60in in my arms. I've been extremely lenient, waiting for the parents to get on board with the transition, but I think I've just taught the little girl I can be manipulated as easily as they can. The few times I have set her down groggy, she pops up and shrieks into a hysteria. I've tried checking on her every 10 minutes for an hour, but I need to put my foot down and let her CIO.
Her parents agreed to pack a lunch, but all they provide is a bottle of milk, which is the only thing she drinks from, an apple juice, and a puréed food or yogurt. Her mom only spoon feeds her at home. She watches my son happily eat his finger foods and prefers to share his lunch. I don't understand why they wouldn't want to encourage her progress. Plus she's already having 2 loose stools a day at my house alone, so am hesitant to give Apple juice.
She is never allowed to fuss even slightly at home, and anytime she encounters conflict she whines and cries. From anything like the cabinet not opening due to a child lock, to not wanting to slide down the stairs on her own, to a toy being slightly out of reach. That's nanagable but annoying.
I think I could handle the childs faults if that's all it was. The parents work schedule has exceeded my hours by over an hour with no discussion. They needed weekends for 4 wks straight. They cancelled a week with no notice. And it doesn't matter what time they say they'll arrive, it's always 20-80 minutes off. I asked them to text 15 before they arrive, and if they do, it's maybe 1-2 min before. And the mother doesn't knock, she just walks into my home. So I dont even have a knock to warn me of their arrival.
But yesterday, her mother informed me that she'd like me to continue the progress they've made on potty training. And by "training," I mean that she wants me to bring her into the bathroom every few hours, pull down her pants and remove her diaper, place her on the potty chair, hand her a glass of water, then make a SHHHHHHH noise with my mouth.
I can't take it anymore. is there even any use in putting my foot down? It hasn't worked with asking her to text or arrive on time. How much of an excuse do I have to give when I tell her to find a new daycare? Or should I channel all of my strength and try to teach her how I want her to behave (applicable to the child AND the mother)?
Since she's been here, her parents have made NO efforts to work on ANY type of sleep training method, even a "no cry" type. They don't even keep her evening sleeping on schedule and don't maintaun a bedtime routine. This takes 20-40 minutes if feeding her a warmed bottle, then vigorously standing and rocking to get her to sleep. If she wakes, she's up, unless I want to hold her while she sleeps an additional 30-60in in my arms. I've been extremely lenient, waiting for the parents to get on board with the transition, but I think I've just taught the little girl I can be manipulated as easily as they can. The few times I have set her down groggy, she pops up and shrieks into a hysteria. I've tried checking on her every 10 minutes for an hour, but I need to put my foot down and let her CIO.
Her parents agreed to pack a lunch, but all they provide is a bottle of milk, which is the only thing she drinks from, an apple juice, and a puréed food or yogurt. Her mom only spoon feeds her at home. She watches my son happily eat his finger foods and prefers to share his lunch. I don't understand why they wouldn't want to encourage her progress. Plus she's already having 2 loose stools a day at my house alone, so am hesitant to give Apple juice.
She is never allowed to fuss even slightly at home, and anytime she encounters conflict she whines and cries. From anything like the cabinet not opening due to a child lock, to not wanting to slide down the stairs on her own, to a toy being slightly out of reach. That's nanagable but annoying.
I think I could handle the childs faults if that's all it was. The parents work schedule has exceeded my hours by over an hour with no discussion. They needed weekends for 4 wks straight. They cancelled a week with no notice. And it doesn't matter what time they say they'll arrive, it's always 20-80 minutes off. I asked them to text 15 before they arrive, and if they do, it's maybe 1-2 min before. And the mother doesn't knock, she just walks into my home. So I dont even have a knock to warn me of their arrival.
But yesterday, her mother informed me that she'd like me to continue the progress they've made on potty training. And by "training," I mean that she wants me to bring her into the bathroom every few hours, pull down her pants and remove her diaper, place her on the potty chair, hand her a glass of water, then make a SHHHHHHH noise with my mouth.
I can't take it anymore. is there even any use in putting my foot down? It hasn't worked with asking her to text or arrive on time. How much of an excuse do I have to give when I tell her to find a new daycare? Or should I channel all of my strength and try to teach her how I want her to behave (applicable to the child AND the mother)?
Well, you get the idea. Trouble is, IMO, neither one of you are acting like it's your business. 
Decide what you want to work with, discuss with dcm and if she still doesn't comply, then do look for a better fit. She's more worried about potty training than getting her dd to self soothe to sleep? Priorities wouldn't mesh with mine at all.
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