Should I Keep This Child?

[Unregistered]

Hi All!
I'll admit it, I've been lurking now for a few months. I read all your posts everyday. I've been wanting to ask your opinions, but haven't taken the time. However, my situation is at a point where I need help/opinions. I care for three children. Ages 3mo, 11mo, 2yrs, and my 4 yr daughter. I have been watching the 2 yr old since she was 6mo and consider her part of our extended family. Here's the issue; she has been biting for at least 6-8 mos. Usually the victim is my daughter. She does not bite because she lacks the verbal capability to express herself. She is extremely verbal and very bright. She has bitten my daughter so many times that I've lost count. Her behavior seems to be getting more aggressive. She is now hitting and pulling my daughters hair. Like chunks of hair! She will hit the babies and I've caught her kicking at one of them. She bit the 11mo old once, a few months ago. Yesterday, she bit the 3mo old, who is new to my care (so embarrassing). She didn't break the skin on the baby, but the day prior, she broke the skin when she bit my daughter on the chest, through her sweater! I'm not here to ask for ways of dealing with the biting, as I've tried EVERYTHING this forum has suggested on other posts and then some. Remember, I've been battling this for many, many, months. My question is should I keep her? I want to try a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule instead of the full time care I currently provide. My hope is that this would break any pattern she is in. Maybe this would curb the biting and aggression? Or, should I just term? Please help! I would like to have a decision made by Sunday. Thank you for reading such a long post, but I felt the details were necessary.

[Blackcat31]

Hi All!
I'll admit it, I've been lurking now for a few months. I read all your posts everyday. I've been wanting to ask your opinions, but haven't taken the time. However, my situation is at a point where I need help/opinions. I care for three children. Ages 3mo, 11mo, 2yrs, and my 4 yr daughter. I have been watching the 2 yr old since she was 6mo and consider her part of our extended family. Here's the issue; she has been biting for at least 6-8 mos. Usually the victim is my daughter. She does not bite because she lacks the verbal capability to express herself. She is extremely verbal and very bright. She has bitten my daughter so many times that I've lost count. Her behavior seems to be getting more aggressive. She is now hitting and pulling my daughters hair. Like chunks of hair! She will hit the babies and I've caught her kicking at one of them. She bit the 11mo old once, a few months ago. Yesterday, she bit the 3mo old, who is new to my care (so embarrassing). She didn't break the skin on the baby, but the day prior, she broke the skin when she bit my daughter on the chest, through her sweater! I'm not here to ask for ways of dealing with the biting, as I've tried EVERYTHING this forum has suggested on other posts and then some. Remember, I've been battling this for many, many, months. My question is should I keep her? I want to try a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule instead of the full time care I currently provide. My hope is that this would break any pattern she is in. Maybe this would curb the biting and aggression? Or, should I just term? Please help! I would like to have a decision made by Sunday. Thank you for reading such a long post, but I felt the details were necessary.

I like the suggestion of reducing her attendance to only 3 days instead of all 5 but the outcome could go either way.

She could bite more because she is stressed about missing out and not being there everyday as some kids don't do well on a part time schedule.

Of course she could also have a positive reaction and have less stress and anxiety and therefore bite less or stop all together.

I'd at least give it a try and if the reduced schedule doesn't appear to be working, then term. You have to do what you have to do to not only protect the other kids but to protect yourself from liability.

I'd set a time limit though and maybe only do the 3 days a week for maybe only 30 days. I wouldn't agree to do it any longer or any less as it ill just continue to be drawn out and never be resolved or it could just be worse so I would definitely recommend a time frame.

Good luck! Biting is so HARD to deal with.

((hugs)) to your daughter as she seems to be the one bitten the most....and in her own home..
:hug:

[Gemma]

When I have a "problem child" the first thing I do, is keeping the child from repeating the crime!...I'm lucky to have a setting that allows me to separate kids if I need to, otherwise, I would have terminated so many times by now!

No way I could allow a child to repeatedly hurt others!
...you're probably stressed out too:hug:

[KiddieCahoots]

I think I would term.
It's just sad to hear that the primary victim is your daughter, in her own home
When I first read the post I was wondering if maybe your daughter was in her space often and that was why she was the main target, but then you went on to say she is biting others, even a 3 month old
To me, that's extreme. What could a 3 month old possibly have done to evoke such a response?

[AuntTami]

I like the suggestion of reducing her attendance to only 3 days instead of all 5 but the outcome could go either way.

She could bite more because she is stressed about missing out and not being there everyday as some kids don't do well on a part time schedule.

Of course she could also have a positive reaction and have less stress and anxiety and therefore bite less or stop all together.

I'd at least give it a try and if the reduced schedule doesn't appear to be working, then term. You have to do what you have to do to not only protect the other kids but to protect yourself from liability.

I'd set a time limit though and maybe only do the 3 days a week for maybe only 30 days. I wouldn't agree to do it any longer or any less as it ill just continue to be drawn out and never be resolved or it could just be worse so I would definitely recommend a time frame.

Good luck! Biting is so HARD to deal with.

((hugs)) to your daughter as she seems to be the one bitten the most....and in her own home..
:hug:

I agree with this. What do you have to lose? Try it for a week, see how it goes. If it's still just as bad or worse, then term. If it gets better, continue for another couple weeks and see how it goes.

In the mean time, while she's with you, can you make her your shadow? When you move, she moves. She doesn't go anywhere without you and you don't go anywhere without her.... It won't stop the biting but at least if she's not alone she can't bite.

[Unregistered]

Thanks

Thank you for the advice. I've decided to offer part time care. If her behavior doesn't change within a three week period, I will term. Again, thanks!