Too Many Rules/Too Strict??

[Controlled Chaos]

My phrase is "Is that safe?" This can apply to a child, animal or toy.

No children on furniture - is my rule upstairs. (downstairs is all daycare) No kids on couches or chairs in the living room. It cuts down on the need to bounce and jump

I would try to re think your reaction to the behavior. Rather than "NO!", Try stating what you would like them to do instead and redirection/ushering them another activity.

Hope they settle down for you :hug:

Oh and on length of free play - We do free play 2 hours in the morning. Then snack, then I set up art or sensory activities for them, when they are done they trickle back on out to free play until we go outside (about another 90 min). So I don't think its about too much free play, but maybe its free play that needs more guidance for a little bit. Or like BC said, fewer options helps.

[melilley]

You just described most of my years as a daycare provider!

Really, I just always had a full house of high energy, implusive, rough & tumble kids.

I ended up having a very structured day, and letting go of unimportant rules, and only keeping the safety ones. The overall behaviors improved enormously without the constant nagging by me. And....when the weather was nice/or even sort of nice...we were outside most of the day....like 4-6 hours each day were outside. I LOVED it. The backyard free play outside was fine, only minor issues.

Also, mine were boundry pushers...so immediate consequence 100% of the time. A Warning = "getting away with it once". So no warnings, even the litter ones. Throw a toy, it gets put in toy time out (locked in the garage) until the next day. Older kids, it was the end of the week. I cut down my toys available to what can be picked up within 5minutes with everyone helping(because putting away each bin, before getting another just didnt work with my dcks). And 5 minutes was the max most of my guys could handle successfully. Any longer, and we got behavior issues - beyond just refusal. It was to set them up for success, this was NOT a punishment. So sitting with the groups while pokey-puppy eater that takes 10minutes was finishing up, just not a reasonable expectation. As an example.

Lots of helper "chores", and self-help task, these kids were awesome at directed tasks as long as they were short & to the point.

Good luck, it can be difficult to turn a group around...but it can be done, within reason. I had some of the most fun with these kids!

I so need to do this. Let go of the less important rules that aren't important. I feel like I'm always getting frustrated and I think this could help. Now only if I can actually let go of some things!

[proudmommyofthree]

I have the same exact rules, my problem is though, I feel that the parents also think I'm a little too strict. I just blame it on licensing. I tell them for safety reasons and licensing regulations I have to have these rules in place. I feel because parents work, they feel guilty saying no to their children and do not have the same rules at home. So when they come to daycare, I'm not the mean one . The kids do start to listen and follow my rules, but it does take time, and at first I thought I was the only one with these rules, until I started asking other providers in my area. What a relief I felt when they all had the same rules

[Unregistered]

On a different post it was suggested to use 'natural consequences'. I have been using it with my troublemaker and it has been working! Throwing toys? You don't get to play with that. Not listening during an activity? You don't get to do it. This dcg, 5 yrs, is one that I don't warn anymore. Too much trouble every single day!

[Indianadaycare]

My free play is pretty much all day. I am a play based child care.

I do not do guided activities or structured curriculum at all.

The kids dictate what we do each day.

I eliminate some of the chaos by limiting the choices for free play and/or how many kids can be in any one center or area at one time.

I have the same rules as you do with the exception of having to sit at the table until everyone is done. If they want to leave, they certainly can. They don't get to go play or go straight to nap but they can leave the table. I just have them sit and look at books while the rest of us finish up the meal.

I think what parents allow at home dictates or at least plays a HUGE role in the behavior of the kids at daycare.... if they can run/jump or climb on furniture at home, it's near impossible to get them to stop doing it at daycare unless you rule with an iron fist and I'm just not that into having to "retrain" kids in regards to proper etiquette at other people's homes so I do give issues like that to the parents to fix/address.

I have some pretty strict rules about playing nicely with toys/peers etc and don't allow them to throw toys or hurt others. If they do, the consequences are swift and immediate so I rarely have repeat behaviors unless I implemented some sort of consequence that was beyond the scope of understanding for a particular child.

However, once you learn what makes each one tick or what motivates them, it is so much easier...and I've had most my families for a long time so I know them well.

My advice to you is routine, routine, routine.
The rest will fall in place......

[daycare]

I try to tell kids what they can do, not what they can't do. It makes me and all of the kids happy..'


If they are running, walking feet, or feet on the floor.

we have 3 rules or better yet we have 3 things we ask ourselves.

THINK

is it safe?
Is it respectful?
Is it responsible....

if not, then you need to stop and think.

When I see a child running I will say walking feet please, if they do it again, will stop them and ask is it safe to run inside? NO, yeah you're right, only outside. Thank you for listening, lets use walking feet. We can run in the grass as soon as it's time to go outside.... I promise I will tell you when we are going outside. and give a high five or something to that degree.

If it happens again, I will say please sit, you can sit with bill or bob or sue or even me, which one?

After that it's just sit....

everyone no matter what age is more likely to listen if it's positive...

I never raise my voice, I never talk over the kids, I often never say no, unless I know that its going to end in someone getting hurt.

I tell my preschool kids, you are very smart and I know you can think of better things to do, lets think together some ideas....

[Josiegirl]

Not that I want others to suffer, but I'm so glad it's not just me. I've been feeling like I'm the common link, and that it's something that I'm doing/not doing that's causing them to act like this. I hate feeling like a failure, and I've been beating myself up lately.

I am sooo right there with you. I feel like it must be me! Either I'm too lax, too firm, too grouchy, too sweet, too something. My 21 month old is hitting(she had almost stopped and now she's back at it full force this week), my 4 yo is completely disrespectful to me and the others, I have 2 sisters who take things from each other all the time, then scream and tackle the other one, I have 2 that won't even try to get themselves ready for outdoor play anymore(and I know they can do some of it).
I figured if it wasn't me, it must be spring weather or because they've all had nasty colds/coughs and just don't feel great right now.
My 4 yo dcg was very difficult for her mom at pick up today, so I thought maybe it's not all me. Then my next thought was no, I probably made her that way.

I can't win.

[Blackcat31]

I have the same exact rules, my problem is though, I feel that the parents also think I'm a little too strict. I just blame it on licensing. I tell them for safety reasons and licensing regulations I have to have these rules in place. I feel because parents work, they feel guilty saying no to their children and do not have the same rules at home. So when they come to daycare, I'm not the mean one . The kids do start to listen and follow my rules, but it does take time, and at first I thought I was the only one with these rules, until I started asking other providers in my area. What a relief I felt when they all had the same rules

I agree but an injury at home on the parents watch is an accident

An injury at child care on the providers watch could be criminal.

TWO very different outcomes for the same scenarios.

I HAVE to be strict so if parents don't like it, stay home and supervise/care/watch your own kids.

[Gemma]

I agree but an injury at home on the parents watch is an accident

An injury at child care on the providers watch could be criminal.

TWO very different outcomes for the same scenarios.

I HAVE to be strict so if parents don't like it, stay home and supervise/care/watch your own kids.

[daycare]

I agree but an injury at home on the parents watch is an accident

An injury at child care on the providers watch could be criminal.

TWO very different outcomes for the same scenarios.

I HAVE to be strict so if parents don't like it, stay home and supervise/care/watch your own kids.

I always tell parents, children will get hurt, but i will do everything in my power to make sure that it does not happen on my time. This is why we have strict rules no matter where we go. they normally get it

[Unregistered]

On a different post it was suggested to use 'natural consequences'. I have been using it with my troublemaker and it has been working! Throwing toys? You don't get to play with that. Not listening during an activity? You don't get to do it. This dcg, 5 yrs, is one that I don't warn anymore. Too much trouble every single day!

I'm bring respectful here.....but this is a logical consequence.
A natural consequence is when something happens naturally...a beloved toy is left outside, it rains, it gets ruined. It's not a planned consequence - it just happens...naturally.

Glad these consequences are working for you!