How do you handle this?

[tenderhearts]

I have a dcb who is 4 1/2, he's been with me since he was almost 2 yrs. He's
always been a pretty good kid, normal things here and there. Lately, he's been a little more aggresive with the kids, he's not intentionally hitting out of aggression but just getting more rough. Also, when I ask him to do something, mostly going to book center (time out), he will not go, start crying very loud and just keep saying no. Has anyone dealt with a child like this before? His mom said he's been doing this at home but was concerned he was being aggressive with me or the other kids like hitting me or the others when he's angry which he has not just not doing as he's told. Any suggestions? I've been just picking him up and putting him out of the room (Not in book center since he lost that privelege) but away in an adjacent entry way I can see him.

[Unregistered]

After many days of this and hours of fits I finally had a sit down with the dcf. They in turn had a talk with dcg and now if dcg acts like that or won't stop scream-yelling-crying I tell dcg I'm calling mom and dad. That's puts an end to it because the dcf told her the punishment if they have to come to daycare. It works for us. You could also have him sit with you and play by you for the day when he won't stop being aggressive. It would be for the other children's safety.

[Blackcat31]

I have a dcb who is 4 1/2, he's been with me since he was almost 2 yrs. He's
always been a pretty good kid, normal things here and there. Lately, he's been a little more aggresive with the kids, he's not intentionally hitting out of aggression but just getting more rough. Also, when I ask him to do something, mostly going to book center (time out), he will not go, start crying very loud and just keep saying no. Has anyone dealt with a child like this before? His mom said he's been doing this at home but was concerned he was being aggressive with me or the other kids like hitting me or the others when he's angry which he has not just not doing as he's told. Any suggestions? I've been just picking him up and putting him out of the room (Not in book center since he lost that privelege) but away in an adjacent entry way I can see him.

I would continue to reaffirm that going to the time out area is not a question or choice but something he is required to do IF he wants to participate with the rest of the days' activities.

If he outright refuses, then leave him be but move along to something SUPER fun with the others and don't allow him to participate. Just keep reminding him he needs to do his time before he can move on to something else.

After a couple times, he should start to realize that his refusal is NOT buying him any additional attention for his negative behaviors and as a mater of fact, actually buys him less attention.

I wouldn't engage in any type of power play as trying to physically move him may cause you or you injury and I wouldn't call parents for pick up because then the child learns that he gets to go home when he is misbehaving and I see no benefit to that. Also as a parent, I wouldn't want to leave work every time my kid told my provider no or refused to do something.

If I had to resort to that as a consequence, I would just term. I "need" to be able to manage the kids I have in care while they are on my watch or I wouldn't feel as though I was doing my job...kwim?

Of course, I think you need to involve the parents and work out some sort of plan for addressing this both at home and at daycare so that you are all on the same page as consistency between home and daycare is usually key to a successful experience for everyone involved.

Good luck...seems we have more and more kids now days that simply have zero respect for any type of authority and/or think they (the kids) run the show.

[Unregistered]

It was a last resort. Terming is my only other option now.

[tenderhearts]

I would never call the parent, only discuss with her upon pickup of what's going on. I have tried the leaving him there and finding "super fun" things" to do, we have brought out games, things I know he LOVES to do, but at that time, he does not care one bit. Mom has done things at home as well, she signed him up for karate and he was so excited about going talked about it all week, well she told him because of his behaviour (at home, not here) he couldn't go, she said he didn't care. He isn't aggressive like purposely hurting someone, he doesn't hit or anything like that he just has been getting more rough I guess. Sorry I should have clarified that. He's in general a great boy, we seem to go through something of this sort ever few months but the whole crying and screaming and not going into time out is new.