DCM Pregnant But Has Not Said A Word

[Dsquared]

Hi Providers,
One of my daycare mommies appears to be pregnant. I have been watching her daughter for a year now. She appears to be around 5-6 months pregnant. I can see it through her coat. She might even be further along. Why would she not say anything? My fear is she is going to tell me last minute, quit her job and leave me in a bind. What would you all do?

[Meeko]

Ask.

She may be planning on leaving...or......she may just be assuming that she will bring the baby to you too.

I had a mom who did this once. She was pregnant and never told me. I couldn't tell in the early months and in the last few months, her children were often picked up by others on her list.

She just announced to me one day that "the baby will start on such-and-such date". She had a hissy when I told her I didn't have room for an infant. She just assumed that I would take the baby because I had her other 2 kids. She really didn't seem to have a clue about ratios etc. As it turned out, somebody gave notice and I was able to squeeze her baby in. But it was pure timing luck.

Ask her. Tell her you are not being nosy, but noticed she was expecting and just wanted to make sure you knew what to tell parents on your waiting list/or whether she will need your services.

[Crystal]

What if she has just gained a lot of weight? I wouldn't say anything.

[Meeko]

What if she has just gained a lot of weight? I wouldn't say anything.

This is true! LOL! Has the older child said anything about a new baby coming? Make SURE you are SURE before saying anything! ::

I would say something, but only if I was 100% sure it was baby and not donuts!

[CraftyMom]

This is true! LOL! Has the older child said anything about a new baby coming? Make SURE you are SURE before saying anything! ::

I would say something, but only if I was 100% sure it was baby and not donuts!

Yes, be sure first :: Maybe talk about babies at daycare and say "does anyone have a baby at home? Is anyone going to have a new baby at home?"

[ColorfulSunburst]

Why would she not say anything?

She doesn't must to say anything to you as well as you don't must to accept her baby if you have no place. I see no reason to be worried.

[Unregistered]

Her daughter does not really talk so I can't ask her. I may just tell her that i am asking all parents about their future plans as I have been getting lots of calls. I wish that she was planning on asking me to care for the baby as I have spots opening up soon but I doubt that is the case since she has not said anything. I'm thinking she will become a stay home mommy

[Gemma]

I may just tell her that i am asking all parents about their future plans as I have been getting lots of calls. (

You have the right to plan for the future, I would ask!

[Blackcat31]

She doesn't must to say anything to you as well as you don't must to accept her baby if you have no place. I see no reason to be worried.

This.

There maybe a million reasons why she hasn't said anything.

I would NOT ask.

You are no more obligated to take her baby if you don't have space than she is obligated to tell you.

If your contract says she must submit a 2 weeks notice of withdrawal, then technically that is all you are entitled to expect...kwim?

Yes, it would be better (for you) if she said something about her future plans so that you could plan accordingly but that is why we have notice periods in our contracts.

Those notice periods are meant to make the transition (financially/emotionally etc) easier for the provider.

If she DOES plan on quitting her job, I wouldn't tell you any sooner than I had to because imagine if she told you in 5 months I am quitting my job and staying home with both kids....what would you do?

You'd try to fill the space as soon as possible and DCM could potentially lose her care arrangements sooner than she wanted to.

It's just like when providers plan to close up shop. They rarely tell their families right away for fear of losing income sooner than they had planned.

I understand that it's hard waiting to see what she might or might not do but it's just the nature of this business and I see no other way around it.

[hope]

I have a cousin that lost a baby at 5 months. After that she would be showing and almost full term yet still not discuss her pregnancies outside of close family. Yes, it was awkward to see a 7 month pregnant woman and not comment but the lose was so tramatic and she was terrified of it happening again. Let her know how much you love caring for her child and you can ask about her plans for next year. Say that you are trying to plan for all enrollments and want to know what your business will be like next year. Maybe she will open up to the real reason.

[Unregistered]

I wish I had read your post Black Cat. I ended up asking her this morning She seemed surprised and did a fake laugh. She said she just started showing and that she is 5 1/2 months along. She did not mention her plans. I planned on asking her at pick up but now I may just keep my mouth shut. I am a very anxious person and when I think I may be losing a child I start worrying about filling spots. This is the hard part of this job, even more so than caring for the kids. She may say something when she pick her up.

[Gemma]

I am a very anxious person and when I think I may be losing a child I start worrying about filling spots. .

That's why I suggested that you ask, so you could put your mind at ease:hug:

[Blackcat31]

That's why I suggested that you ask, so you could put your mind at ease:hug:

...and she asked and still has no information.

OP~ I understand being anxious and trust me there is a lot of things I'd like to ask (and have answered) my daycare parents but I have to give the same as I get and if I had plans to close or term a family, I wouldn't jump the gun but would abide by my contract and give whatever notice I expect them to give me.

If the DCM expected you to accommodate her infant and you can't then it's her loss for not mentioning anything sooner. If she has other plans it is no different than if she were fired tomorrow....you are left having to find a replacement....and as long as you were given notice, it's all you can really do.

I'm sorry I don't have a better answer for you.

[Gemma]

...and she asked and still has no information.

True! She asked, but not exactly what I thought she would ask

[Dsquared]

I did not get the response I was expecting. I could tell she was not giving up any info. This is the thing though. I understand abiding by the contract and giving notice accordingly, but I run a very small daycare and have a personal relationship with my parents. I would expect that if a parent is 5 months pregnant she would tell me out of respect. In the past my DCP have told me right when they find out. This is just my opinion though.