Toddler Hitting Infant. Help!

[RTG]

Hi all,

I am a new provider and I just enrolled an 18 month old who hits my infant son with wild abandon. Even if baby is sitting in my lap, he strikes, kicks, and throws anything he can find at the baby. Several times I have stepped in seconds before something huge and heavy came down on baby's head. Now, this isn't personal, it's not that it's my baby (in some ways, it would be worse if it were a clients baby!) the problem is that none of the solutions I've tried have worked. We are a month into our client/provider relationship, so well past our trial date. I just don't have enough hands to keep the baby safe and it's keeping me from setting up crafts or fixing snack. I had the baby 5 feet behind a gate and the toddler threw a tin cup at his head with impressive aim. I know this is going to happen again in the future since it's normal toddler behaviour, but should I keep this kid? His parents are great, but we just can't get a handle on it.

[Shell]

Not normal, not ok- this child needs to go before something happens to your little baby!

In my experience, some light "hitting" if you can even call it that happens, especially if a baby comes in using a carrier and all the little ones run over to greet baby. But, a call for "nice hands" and "gentle" puts a stop to it.

This child you have is dangerous!

[rosieteddy]

I would put the 18 month old in a play pen or play space.Only give him soft infant toys to play with.I bought a nice walk through play yard on Amazon.It worked great and now we sometimes used it for the big kids to be able to build without the littles knocking everything down. Keep th18 month old occupied and if you are feeding the baby put him in the playspace.Try not to make it a punishment,just a fun place to play. Do not give up you can make it work.Good luck.

[Unregistered]

Yes, playpen or play yard, I have both

[jessica55418]

Nope, NOT normal and I would NOT try to make it work. This child is jealous of the baby. I'd like to share a story with you that will hopefully make you realize how bad this situation could get. I am a daycare provider myself, but this is a story about a dck my Mom had when she did daycare. This happened about 22 years ago. My Mom had a new daycare baby, a 6 week old baby. A month prior she took on 2 new dck's, they were siblings. A 2-1/2 yo boy and a 18 month old girl. She noticed nothing out of the ordinary about the siblings. A couple hours after drop off, my Mom notices it's feeding time and put the baby down so she can go prepare a bottle. In the 2 minutes it took her to prepare the bottle, she hears the baby start to cry very loudly. She comes out to find the 2 1/2 year old on top of the baby. He was punching and biting the baby! The boy saw the baby as a threat. He had jealously issues that probably stemmed from loss of attention when his baby sister was born. The baby was taken to the doctor and recovered, but my Mom termed the siblings that day and obviously the parents of baby pulled her from my Mom's care.

This isn't normal behavior for a child and if I were you I would terminate immediately. Do you really want to have to worry about what this child will do to the other children in your care as soon as you turn your back?

[preschoolteacher]

NOT normal toddler behavior.

I'd term.

[Shell]

Any updates?

[Unregistered]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate it! I think I'm going to let the parents know we are back on a probationary period for now. If it can resolve in a month then we can be back on track for full time starting in May which is our current plan. If not, then I can take him two days a week. I can be on full alert for two days but full time would run me ragged. The parents are great to work with and fully on board, so I don't want to let go of a full time client that is easy to work with without giving a good shot.

[BabyMonkeys]

The trial period being over is irrelevant when it comes to the safety of a baby. You can keep them separated all the time, but it only takes turning away for a minute and he could do some serious damage to a little one. Losing a full time family with great parents does kinda stink though