Friend Over Limit, Leaves Her 2 Kids At Home

[Unregistered]

I am a registered user but for this post I'd like to remain anonymous. I know I will probably get bashed for this post by some of the members here. However, I am very concerned about these children. My friend, quit her job (too stressful and an 1 1/2 hr commute just one way) She has 3 kids of her own. 1 in kindergarten (half day), 1 who is 4 yrs old and 1 who is 2 yrs old. She just started her childcare last week.

Here is where I am concerned. She picks up her son at the bus stop after school plus another boy who is also in kindergarten. She brings with her, a stroller with a child under 1 yr old, another child under 1 who she carries while pushing the stroller, and 3 other kids who range between 3 and 4 yrs old. She is watching 6 kids plus her own 3. In PA, we are only allowed to have 3 kids without a license. I know for a fact she is not licensed. I did go over things with her when she was thinking about starting her own childcare business.

At the bus stop, (I am there for my kids as well) she crosses over a very busy street (that she doesn't need to cross because she lives on the same side as the bus stop) she only crosses the street to talk to other moms who are at the bus stop. Two buses stop here, one (our bus stops on the side where she lives, the other on the opposite side). She doesn't have control of these kids. She is trying to cross a very busy street carrying a baby while pushing a stroller and trying to keep 3 other kids from running ahead.

To top it off, she didn't have her own 2 yr old and 4 yr old yesterday at the bus stop. I asked her where her kids were, she said at home. She gave them permission to stay home. She said her hubby was supposed to be helping her but he got called in to work. Her house is not seen from the bus stop. She lives on main street and she has to walk about 1/2 block to the next street and then turn down and walk another 1/2 block to get to the bus stop. I don't know what to do.

While we are friends, she always does what she wants and doesn't care about anyone/anything else.

[Crystal]

That is INSANELY crazy and unsafe. I'd have been on the phone to CPS and/or Licensing the moment I saw it. Friend or not, she is risking not only her own children's safety, but the safety of others as well. Please, make that call today

[daycare]

That is INSANELY crazy and unsafe. I'd have been on the phone to CPS and/or Licensing the moment I saw it. Friend or not, she is risking not only her own children's safety, but the safety of others as well. Please, make that call today

wow if she makes unsafe choices like that and she is caring for children, she needs a smack over her head.

I feel for you that you are stuck in a situation like this where this is your friend, but as CFQI said, think about the safety of all those children. NOT GOOD.

Plus, if and when something does happen, all daycares take the hit of getting looked down on. We all suffer for others mistakes. we see it happen all the time.

I hope you can build the courage and make the call. I don't think at this point takling to her about it is going to work.

[Unregistered]

Why would someone bash you? You are not the one leaving kids unattended.
I would think this should be reported to child protection and licensing agency though.

[sharlan]

You need to make that call.

[Gemma]

I am a registered user but for this post I'd like to remain anonymous. I know I will probably get bashed for this post by some of the members here. However, I am very concerned about these children. My friend, quit her job (too stressful and an 1 1/2 hr commute just one way) She has 3 kids of her own. 1 in kindergarten (half day), 1 who is 4 yrs old and 1 who is 2 yrs old. She just started her childcare last week. Here is where I am concerned. She picks up her son at the bus stop after school plus another boy who is also in kindergarten. She brings with her, a stroller with a child under 1 yr old, another child under 1 who she carries while pushing the stroller, and 3 other kids who range between 3 and 4 yrs old. She is watching 6 kids plus her own 3. In PA, we are only allowed to have 3 kids without a license. I know for a fact she is not licensed. I did go over things with her when she was thinking about starting her own childcare business. At the bus stop, (I am there for my kids as well) she crosses over a very busy street (that she doesn't need to cross because she lives on the same side as the bus stop) she only crosses the street to talk to other moms who are at the bus stop. Two buses stop here, one (our bus stops on the side where she lives, the other on the opposite side). She doesn't have control of these kids. She is trying to cross a very busy street carrying a baby while pushing a stroller and trying to keep 3 other kids from running ahead. To top it off, she didn't have her own 2 yr old and 4 yr old yesterday at the bus stop. I asked her where her kids were, she said at home. She gave them permission to stay home. She said her hubby was supposed to be helping her but he got called in to work. Her house is not seen from the bus stop. She lives on main street and she has to walk about 1/2 block to the next street and then turn down and walk another 1/2 block to get to the bus stop. I don't know what to do. While we are friends, she always does what she wants and doesn't care about anyone/anything else.

If this woman wasn't your friend, would you report her?
friends don't let friends do stupid things, please do something to put a stop to this before someone gets hurt!
:hug::hug:

[AmyKidsCo]

You need to report her for being over limit. Leaving her 2 & 4 yr olds at home is child endangerment too. I realize it could get messy if she realizes you called, but a child's life is more important.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

You need to report her for being over limit. Leaving her 2 & 4 yr olds at home is child endangerment too. I realize it could get messy if she realizes you called, but a child's life is more important.

Exactly, you need to call.

[Unregistered]

I would not be so concerned with the ratios, but leaving to kids 4 and under at home by themselves?! No way! What if there was a fire or the four year old just decided to leave? My head spins at all the bad things that could happen! She sounds like a person who has to learn things the hard way and it is better if that hard way is a check from dhs or cps, rather than a child dying while in her care.

[laundrymom]

I see no bashing here. I'm sure you know we love you. My question, aside from being legally a mandated reporter and knowing you "should" report her. Could you live with yourself if her house caught fire and her 4yr old had to get her two yr old out but failed? Could you live with yourself if one of the kids jumped into traffic and you knew it was a possibility but didn't want to make waves.
It's no different than if she put them all in the bed of a pickup truck and drove to the stop. With her arms full of babies she is physically unable
To control the others.
Dont kid yourself. She knows it's wrong.

Also, the other moms at stop see her. They see how unprofessional she is and THATS the stigma we, as home providers, fight every single day in every state in this nation.
Are you "friends" or acquaintances ?
If you're friends, and she is back safe at home, and you want her to stop but not bust her, let her know.
"Michelle, it's wrong. It's dangerous. And I AM REQUIRED to report you. Don't make me choose between our friendship and this situation. The kids safety is always going to be my priority. "
Leave the ball in her court. She is the one who is wrong. Your only fault was not reporting this morning. No bashing from me. It's a tough situation. One I've wrestled with myself a time or two. I think we all have if we stay in this field very long.
Good luck. And gentle hugs going your way.

[Thriftylady]

I agree you need to do something. Depending on how much of a friend she is I would either tell her as above or if not so much a friend I would call CPS. They can decide if it needs to go to licensing. I do see being over ratio as an issue if she is crossing busy streets and has more than she can control though.

[jenboo]

At least make an anonymous report if nothing else. Think I'd the safety of those children!
And if something did happen, you are now liable because you knew what was happening and didn't report it.

[CraftyMom]

Walking with little kids can be difficult, especially if they don't follow the rules (or if there aren't any). I worry when walking with kids that age, even though mine follow the rules, because they are so unpredictable! They could be walking nicely holding the stroller, then see something shiny and dart off to pick it up.

I only have to walk down 2 houses to my daughter's bus stop, but we do not have sidewalks and it stresses me out with the kids! Not just the walk, but then getting them to stand nicely at the corner until the bus comes. For this reason I changed my opening time so I don't have to bring kids. They are too unpredictable for me at this age!

So my point is, if her hands are completely full, holding one child while pushing a stroller, how is she going to stop anyone if they decide to dart off into the busy road?

Then the leaving 2 young kids home? I don't even have to say anything about that.

I would mention something to her like another poster said.

[jenboo]

Walking with little kids can be difficult, especially if they don't follow the rules (or if there aren't any). I worry when walking with kids that age, even though mine follow the rules, because they are so unpredictable! They could be walking nicely holding the stroller, then see something shiny and dart off to pick it up.

I only have to walk down 2 houses to my daughter's bus stop, but we do not have sidewalks and it stresses me out with the kids! Not just the walk, but then getting them to stand nicely at the corner until the bus comes. For this reason I changed my opening time so I don't have to bring kids. They are too unpredictable for me at this age!

So my point is, if her hands are completely full, holding one child while pushing a stroller, how is she going to stop anyone if they decide to dart off into the busy road?

Then the leaving 2 young kids home? I don't even have to say anything about that.

I would mention something to her like another poster said.

I get that walking with kids is hard but this lady is specifically crossing a busy road just to talk with other parents. The bus she needs to get kids from is on her side of the street.
I have issues with that.

[CraftyMom]

I get that walking with kids is hard but this lady is specifically crossing a busy road just to talk with other parents. The bus she needs to get kids from is on her side of the street.
I have issues with that.

I am not saying she is right, I am saying she is wrong.

I meant how does SHE expect to stop a child if they dart off into a busy road? I get stressed on my quiet street going 2 houses down. All these visions are going through my head of a child running off into the busy road and she can not stop them because her hands are full.