Asking for things after getting in trouble

[DaveA]

I've noticed something with one my DCKs and want to see if others see this as well. If this child (3 y/o boy) gets in trouble/ toy taken away/ moved to different area/ etc., right after it happens he asks for something he wouldn't get here: cup of chocolate milk, turn TV on, use my ipod, to go play in one on of my kids' rooms, or something of the sort.. He's not throwing a tantrum or screaming/ crying. If he was doing that I would guess DCP were giving him something to stop crying. It's like he's saying "You took something from me, now I need something in return." I've seen kids do this before but not EVERY TIME. I just find it odd the level he carries it to. Anyone else see this with a DCK?

[Thriftylady]

I haven't seen it, but I do wonder if that happens at home, he does it for a reason. Maybe it works at home and mom and dad haven't caught on?

[Blackcat31]

I've noticed something with one my DCKs and want to see if others see this as well. If this child (3 y/o boy) gets in trouble/ toy taken away/ moved to different area/ etc., right after it happens he asks for something he wouldn't get here: cup of chocolate milk, turn TV on, use my ipod, to go play in one on of my kids' rooms, or something of the sort.. He's not throwing a tantrum or screaming/ crying. If he was doing that I would guess DCP were giving him something to stop crying. It's like he's saying "You took something from me, now I need something in return." I've seen kids do this before but not EVERY TIME. I just find it odd the level he carries it to. Anyone else see this with a DCK?

My guess would be that when he is in trouble at home, his parents promise him "X" if he will stop doing whatever got him in trouble or if he promises not to do it again.

Kind of like reward training with dogs. The better the behavior/performance the better the reward/outcome.

I've had a couple kids that would automatically expect some type of "reward" for eliminating a bad behavior or for doing the time (ie time out) and my theory (above) was exactly what was going on at home.

Most times it isn't something the parent does knowingly but almost without "seeing" it sometimes. I used to think it was impossible to mess up the "behave AND get good experiences etc" or "be naughty and get negative experiences ect" but apparently its not so hard to mess that concept up as it's shows in some of my kids expectation AFTER consequences.

[Play Care]

I have kids who will suddenly need a drink of water once they have been moved to "thinking time"
But typically if the behavior has warranted a removal from an area, they usually know better than to ask for extra special privileges.

[Unregistered]

I've noticed something with one my DCKs and want to see if others see this as well. If this child (3 y/o boy) gets in trouble/ toy taken away/ moved to different area/ etc., right after it happens he asks for something he wouldn't get here: cup of chocolate milk, turn TV on, use my ipod, to go play in one on of my kids' rooms, or something of the sort.. He's not throwing a tantrum or screaming/ crying. If he was doing that I would guess DCP were giving him something to stop crying. It's like he's saying "You took something from me, now I need something in return." I've seen kids do this before but not EVERY TIME. I just find it odd the level he carries it to. Anyone else see this with a DCK?

Sometimes parents who aren't comfortable with discipline will comfort the child immediately after they enforce it. This could be the case also.

[Gemma]

Sometimes parents who aren't comfortable with discipline will comfort the child immediately after they enforce it. This could be the case also.

That's what I was thinking too, I had parents confessing their weakness before

[AuntTami]

Sometimes parents who aren't comfortable with discipline will comfort the child immediately after they enforce it. This could be the case also.

I have this little boy. Each time he gets told no, or redirected or anything of the sorts, he comes running to me for a kiss. He's normally pretty "kissy" anyways but every single time he gets in trouble, he needs a kiss.

[Heidi]

Sometimes parents who aren't comfortable with discipline will comfort the child immediately after they enforce it. This could be the case also.

THat's what I've seen.

Little man I had here threw terrible temper tantrums, still at 5. I finally realized what was reinforcing it (not by me). He'd have a tantrum, which they wouldn't give in to. But, as soon as he stopped, he'd smile sweetly and they'd say "oh, see, THAT"S much nicer...now would you like a cookie?" etc.

I am sure they thought they were reinforcing good behavior, but in reality, he had to put on a show first, then be nice, to get what he wanted. Or, at least he seemed to think so.