Ornery 18m old...to Keep or not to Keep?

[Unregistered]

I have an 18m old DCB in the end of his 2 week trial period. He's a very happy boy BUT very ornery. He has an older brother at home, and this is very apparent. Overall, he is a pretty good kid, but plays rough. I have 2 infants on the verge of walking, and 3 preschoolers. This DCB won't stop pushing over the infants and hitting the older ones. The infants could just be sitting on the ground and he will keep pushing until they fall over and then lay on them until they scream. He thinks it's hilarious, and won't stop doing this. I keep doing removal and redirection, a firm "no hit", and tried to get him to sit in the time out chair. Not finding an effective way to correct this other than just keep saying no and remove him. I've never had a child do this, so not sure if it's worth trying to work with to correct him, or just cut my losses now as he will likely get naughtier? Today is the day I either offer them the opening, or say it's not a good fit, and I am really going back and forth about this one???

[daycarediva]

No way would I be offering a space to a child that aggressive. He would not have lasted the trial here.

[Unregistered]

That's stressful. I wouldn't do it.

[Blackcat31]

I have an 18m old DCB in the end of his 2 week trial period. He's a very happy boy BUT very ornery. He has an older brother at home, and this is very apparent. Overall, he is a pretty good kid, but plays rough. I have 2 infants on the verge of walking, and 3 preschoolers. This DCB won't stop pushing over the infants and hitting the older ones. The infants could just be sitting on the ground and he will keep pushing until they fall over and then lay on them until they scream. He thinks it's hilarious, and won't stop doing this. I keep doing removal and redirection, a firm "no hit", and tried to get him to sit in the time out chair. Not finding an effective way to correct this other than just keep saying no and remove him. I've never had a child do this, so not sure if it's worth trying to work with to correct him, or just cut my losses now as he will likely get naughtier? Today is the day I either offer them the opening, or say it's not a good fit, and I am really going back and forth about this one???

If you want to keep him, it IS fixable but it requires a consistent and swift consequence.

The very second he touches, pushes and/or hits another child, I would FIRMLY say "NO!" and remove him from the area. I would then place him in a gated area ALONE.

Let him out after he calms or has been in there a few minutes. Rinse and repeat. Encourage the older kids to FRIMLY say "NO!" when he lifts his hand to hit them. It's even okay if they startle him a bit because he NEEDS to begin to understand that his actions are not okay nor are they welcomed by the other kids.

Talk to his parents as well. Insist that they back you up. Most times when a child is the youngest in the family, everyone else thinks the hitting and aggressive behavior is "cute" when in reality it is dangerous.

Explain to the parents how his behavior is extreme and not something that will be tolerated on ANY level as he could seriously harm on of those infants.

I would also consider having him be your shadow and not allow him to be out of your arm's reach until he begins to behave in a less aggressive manner.

Good luck....this type of situation is hard but manageable IF both home and daycare are FIRM and consistent.

[Shell]

My ds does this, too, from time to time.
He's just shy of two years old. I agree with BC that it's fixable if you want.

Maybe tell dcm what you're observing, how you plan to help stop it (love BC's suggestions), and tell her you'd like to extend the trial. That way you have an out if it gets worse.

[KiddieCahoots]

I had a dcb that did this.
After discussing the situation with dcm, I was told that dcd and older cousins liked to wrestle with dcb....a lot!
Well dcd did not want to stop the wrestling/bonding sessions with dcb, and dcb only got more aggressive with the infants in daycare.....we parted ways.

I guess what I'm trying to say is....receptive dcp's for a situation like this is a key factor.

[Gemma]

I have an 18m old DCB in the end of his 2 week trial period. He's a very happy boy BUT very ornery. He has an older brother at home, and this is very apparent. Overall, he is a pretty good kid, but plays rough. I have 2 infants on the verge of walking, and 3 preschoolers. This DCB won't stop pushing over the infants and hitting the older ones. The infants could just be sitting on the ground and he will keep pushing until they fall over and then lay on them until they scream. He thinks it's hilarious, and won't stop doing this. I keep doing removal and redirection, a firm "no hit", and tried to get him to sit in the time out chair. Not finding an effective way to correct this other than just keep saying no and remove him. I've never had a child do this, so not sure if it's worth trying to work with to correct him, or just cut my losses now as he will likely get naughtier? Today is the day I either offer them the opening, or say it's not a good fit, and I am really going back and forth about this one???

If after 2 weeks of trying to make it work, you still doubt whether to keep him or Term, I'd say Term

[Ariana]

I would use the phrase "I am not going to allow you to do this", and then remove from the situation. It's frustrating for sure but it is negative attention seeking behaviour so make sure thats all you are doing and not feeding into it. Lavish heeps of attention and love on the child he hurt....like over the top attention and completely ignore the boy.

[Movingforward]

Redirect his energy?

Maybe he needs to redirect his energy from hitting others to some physical activity. If he is used to playing rough, maybe incorporate a game so he can jump around or run around or pound on the couch to make some music. That would get some energy out and help him focus on learning = )