Words Such As Stupid, Dumb, Shut Up

[Josiegirl]

School starts again tomorrow(kids have been on winter break last week and past couple days) and I am so glad. 7 yo dcb says all those words ALL the time. He's always calling others stupid or dumb, telling them to shut up. Sometimes he's kidding, sometimes not. Another thing he's been saying a lot is Fudge. Course he's using it as a substitute for the F word. He said it constantly the first couple days he was here and I told him to stop. I've only heard it maybe 10x since then. But I tell him to stop using the other words too and he does not give it up. Plus he's always mocking me when I try to correct his behavior. He's a very rude kid.

Honestly, if I didn't have his little sister here, he'd be history. I'm trying desperately to make it through the summer with them and then dcg will be going to preschool full time so hopefully I'll replace them.

Eta:Oh forgot to ask what you all would do with a child that constantly did those kinds of things?

[sharlan]

I'm sorry, but I won't tolerate that behavior. He would be long gone.

Talk to the parents and if you don't see any improvement, term. There is no way that I would go through a summer with a child like that.

[Josiegirl]

My ideal would be to do that very thing Sharlan, but because his sister is ft here right now I'd automatically lose her too and that'd mean losing 2 ft dcks this summer.
I've tolerated a lot from this particular kid. It's sad really because the few times I've had just him and his sister here, it's been really great. But I truly believe both the kids are begging for attention in their own ways and when there are more kids here, they almost battle for either attention or top dog honors.
Plus I've had this dcf for almost 5 years now. It's difficult to toss that away.

I think I'll write up an email this weekend when I have time to think, and tell them. I'd like to keep them if I can but if he doesn't change, this summer will be hellish for everyone.

[Blackcat31]

My ideal would be to do that very thing Sharlan, but because his sister is ft here right now I'd automatically lose her too and that'd mean losing 2 ft dcks this summer.
I've tolerated a lot from this particular kid. It's sad really because the few times I've had just him and his sister here, it's been really great. But I truly believe both the kids are begging for attention in their own ways and when there are more kids here, they almost battle for either attention or top dog honors.
Plus I've had this dcf for almost 5 years now. It's difficult to toss that away.

I think I'll write up an email this weekend when I have time to think, and tell them. I'd like to keep them if I can but if he doesn't change, this summer will be hellish for everyone.

Be honest with the parents and simply tell them that his current developmental age is tough.

Its common (although NOT something I allow either) for kids his age to use potty words, street talk and faux swearing.

Explain to them how it negatively impacts the younger kids etc..
Im sure they dont want their younger child speaking that way.

If they are the type of parents to not care, I have nothing for ya but good luck vibes as NO amount of money is worth keeping a kid/family/situation that cause MORE stress than necesary... Hardest but most important lesson Ive learned thus far.

[Josiegirl]

Be honest with the parents and simply tell them that his current developmental age is tough.

Its common (although NOT something I allow either) for kids his age to use potty words, street talk and faux swearing.

Explain to them how it negatively impacts the younger kids etc..
Im sure they dont want their younger child speaking that way.

If they are the type of parents to not care, I have nothing for ya but good luck vibes as NO amount of money is worth keeping a kid/family/situation that cause MORE stress than necesary... Hardest but most important lesson Ive learned thus far.

They do care but both are so overwhelmed with how full their lives are that they just do not have the time to devote to their kids. It's not that the kids are being neglected at all. But I see this as a cry for attention, they both talk loud, interrupt, throw fits, need to win, need to be right. There's a lot of their strong-willed leadership personalities shining through too.
I also believe strongly part of it is the way the kids and I butt heads. I'm always a self-doubter anyways but I feel I could do a better job of disciplining the dcb especially. Some times I have to literally walk away and count to 10. So he knows he gets to me.

First step will be really talking with the parents.

[Blackcat31]

They do care but both are so overwhelmed with how full their lives are that they just do not have the time to devote to their kids. It's not that the kids are being neglected at all. But I see this as a cry for attention, they both talk loud, interrupt, throw fits, need to win, need to be right. There's a lot of their strong-willed leadership personalities shining through too.
I also believe strongly part of it is the way the kids and I butt heads. I'm always a self-doubter anyways but I feel I could do a better job of disciplining the dcb especially. Some times I have to literally walk away and count to 10. So he knows he gets to me.

First step will be really talking with the parents.

The parents don't get a free pass because they are overwhelmed. That is not fair to the kids and NOT fair to you. :confused:

It's not YOUR job to "discipline better".

Its the PARENTS job to make sure THEY discipline better so you don't have to butt heads with the kids.

:hug:

[Unregistered]

I'm a self doubter as well. You have to be confident, explore all options, write it down so you know what you did and that you did your best. Be confident!

[Rockgirl]

When it comes to a tough choice, it's good to ask yourself "What is right for the good of the group?" I wouldn't want the other kids here being called those names, out of respect for them, and because they will likely pick up the habit as well. Also, you don't need to be disrespected like that. It's not good for the other kids to see you being disrespected, either.

Also, I'm 'old-school' when it comes to things like kids mocking me. Ain't happening here--nope!

[daycare]

I agree with the others, he needs a different environment to express himself and your house is not the place to do it.

The parents need to stop making excuses and figure it out. It's not your issue to have to resolve for them, they need to correct that behavior if it is not allowed.

I would term that child for the sake of the others. No way would I want a child using that type of talk around my little ones. I can only imagine my preschool and todders saying those things. My DCP would be livid.

I would tell the parents that if it does not stop now, that you have no choice but to let him go.

[Laurel]

School starts again tomorrow(kids have been on winter break last week and past couple days) and I am so glad. 7 yo dcb says all those words ALL the time. He's always calling others stupid or dumb, telling them to shut up. Sometimes he's kidding, sometimes not. Another thing he's been saying a lot is Fudge. Course he's using it as a substitute for the F word. He said it constantly the first couple days he was here and I told him to stop. I've only heard it maybe 10x since then. But I tell him to stop using the other words too and he does not give it up. Plus he's always mocking me when I try to correct his behavior. He's a very rude kid.

Honestly, if I didn't have his little sister here, he'd be history. I'm trying desperately to make it through the summer with them and then dcg will be going to preschool full time so hopefully I'll replace them.

Eta:Oh forgot to ask what you all would do with a child that constantly did those kinds of things?

Or you could try the old fashioned way. He is 7. Every time he says a word he shouldn't he has to go to a table with pencil and paper and write "I will say nice words" or if he isn't that proficient just "nice words only." OR tell him if he really wants to say those words then to write the word 25 times or so. So he writes dumb 25 times and then you count to make sure he did and tear up the paper and throw it away. Worked great when our teachers made us do that in the 'olden days.' The minute he utters another unacceptable word back to the table. You can even have him do it outside. He should be off by himself where you can see him but he will get no attention. Oh and be sure to do something fun with the other kiddies that he will miss.

Laurel

[daycare]

Or you could try the old fashioned way. He is 7. Every time he says a word he shouldn't he has to go to a table with pencil and paper and write "I will say nice words" or if he isn't that proficient just "nice words only." OR tell him if he really wants to say those words then to write the word 25 times or so. So he writes dumb 25 times and then you count to make sure he did and tear up the paper and throw it away. Worked great when our teachers made us do that in the 'olden days.' The minute he utters another unacceptable word back to the table. You can even have him do it outside. He should be off by himself where you can see him but he will get no attention. Oh and be sure to do something fun with the other kiddies that he will miss.

Laurel

oh boy you brought up some bad memories for me....

yes this is an old school method that works.....

[Laurel]

oh boy you brought up some bad memories for me....

yes this is an old school method that works.....

Wisdom from being 'old'. ::